Comment Newage Programmers Need Adult Intervention (Score 4, Insightful) 98
My college professor in a user interface design class back in the 90's said it best after telling us a story about the NASA space program and it's UI design for Apollo:
If you can't train a monkey to use it, you can't train a human to use it.
I'm sick of apps that look good. I want Apps that WORK GOOD!
I'm sick and tired of having to relearn an app or report endless bugs because some just out of college app designer wants to vibe code some fancy app remake so he can say "I DID THIS MOMMY!!" to his parents like he's a fucking kindergartner holding up a finger painting.
Worse, I'm sick and tired of having to retrain other users and clean up bug mess because of said app designer.
I want a program that works. That is all.
I don't care that a program that works looks like something out of Windows XP. I don't care about bullshit features and UI elements that never work. I especially don't need a fucking box popping up every fucking five minutes to tutorial me about your bullshit feature or design that no one wants or cares about with a "GOT IT" button like a stripped down text based new age Clippy.
Firefox has (or at least used to have) skinning. How about working on that so that the kindergartners can play with their crayons and the adults can get work done instead of babysitting your slopcode for the umpteenth time. It's bad enough I had to create a theme so I can easily see what tab was active without having to waste time thinking about it because some idiot in your UI Dept thought white on white for the tab UI was a good Idea because some idiot at Google though it was a good idea instead of white on black or at least offsetting colors so you can easily differentiate like a good functional UI should be. I don't have time to retrain employees or submit endless bug reports and feedback loops because your "My First Sony" obsessed VTech Leapfrog Toddler app team is trying to justify it's existence again by reinventing the wheel for the 15th fucking time.
This is way I miss cutthroat managers like Steve Jobs. I hate Apple products but I have to admit that Jobs kept this bullshit in check at Apple when he was alive. If it didn't make sense, broke things, confused people or wasted time he would shoot it down and if the designer kept insisting, he was fired which kept the other app designers in line. The split second his body was cold you started seeing Apple UI's redesign themselves to the point you have a UI that's more art than function and then you wonder why your customers are bitching because they can't understand or even see your glass looking UI.
And if you happen to work as a manager in a App development studio. Print this post on wallpaper and hang it on the wall in your break room instead of some bullshit motivational speech or word cloud to coddle the kindergartner's safe space feelings. You'll probably be facing a harassment charge from your HR dept afterwards but It will be more valuable to your team and your customer's overall heath than any motivational new age crap you were going to put there anyway.