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Journal ellem's Journal: Real. Really Real. It's time. 23

Journal by ellem

The recent boo festival at the Orange Bowl should be something of a wake up call to the Music Industry. It's time to get real.

You know we will put up with Jessica Simpson because she's really really hot and moderately likable. Her no talent "Avril Lite" sister we will not. You can't sing. Stop it. It's over. 70,000 people have spoken. I know he excuse you will make. "I couldn't hear myself." Be thankful.

And Jessica, seriously now, you suck. You are not even a subpar singer. You are a suckpar singer. If the creativity you bring to your music is brought into the bedroom no wonder your husband is banging the snot out of pr0n stars.

Lindsey Lohan. God you are a beautiful girl. I remember when you were 11 in The Parent Trap. I said to my wife, "That girl is going to be smoking hot!" She called the Police. I did my time, I watched my viddies. I wretch when I think about tying you to a water pipe in my basement and glazing your freckled skin. You're stil gorgeous, you just can't sing a fucking note in key you toneless whore!

Hillary Duff. Yes you look like Jenna Jameson. No you can't fucking sing a note. Get naked already.

Britney. You skank. You trailer park punch board. The only time you should open you mouth is like a venus fly trap -- to get protien. Stop singing you linebacker necked tart.

Christina. Ahh Christina. You can sing. And you make my naughty parts all tingly. However you screeching Mariah Bot it would behoove you to learn when to shut the fuck up. Every silent moment need not be filled with your damn voice.

And you poser bands. All of you. The boy bands, the shitty rappers, the whiny sob rock fucks, the over sampling whores all of you douche holes...

GET REAL. Stop not being real. If you need the SUPERVOICE 3000 and the GUITAREFFECTOR stop making the crap you make and let actual talented people... you know like your backup singers make the music.

Ahhh fuck it the Radio is dead anyway. Long live my iPod.

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Real. Really Real. It's time. More

Real. Really Real. It's time.

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  • yikes (Score:3, Interesting)

    by SolemnDragon ( 593956 ) * <solemndragonNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Friday January 07, 2005 @07:39PM (#11292740) Homepage Journal
    daddy, PROMISE me you will never, ever, ever review our band or my music???

    Yes, i WAS planning to go out dressed like this! I like these clothes! They're what all my friends are wearing! Everybody dresses like this! I can wear what i want!!! I can't believe you're so strict about what i wear!!!! ARGHH!!!

    What do you mean, show more leg?!
  • This is the thing that gets me; Auto Tune and Pitch Correction [kellyindustries.com] is frickin' de riguer in the LIVE music circuit;

    So wtf happened to Ashely!? AShly. ASleigh. Auchleigh. whatever.
  • I think Jessica can sing. I care not for her music, but the girl does have a true voice (unlike little sister, who has the same jugs on twice the body with half the face and none of the talent).

    Christina: Dude, grew up near her. Have several friends that went to high school with her in Wexford. She stinks. Literally. Her nicknames in high school were "Stinky" and "Fishy". Dude, I think she's cute in that "If I bang her, my genitals will rot off" kind of way. I wouldn't even fuck her with your dick,
  • i'll say it... i'm embarassed for you.

    what the fuck are you doing craming this shit into your head anyway? stop it okay?

    radio? what the fuck are you talking about? what... is that like the HAM stuff nerds are into? they play music on this radio?

    i fear and weep for you dad.

    please come back to us. we promise we'll clean our rooms and do the dishes.

    yes... and what Sol said. you are NOT allowed to review or... shit even LISTEN to our record... okay? oh wait... you can listen it... but... no reviewing.
    • From the review:

      I liked everything but the guitar sounded like an Ibanez knock off of a Gibson SG.
      • lol!
        but really... i won't be using *your* guitar hahaha!

        • Not with that attitude mister! Go to your room. No wait your room is filled with fun shit... go to MY room... and NO playing with the ball gag!
          • If you review our music meanly, i'll tell mommy.

            *grin*

            And then i'll tell Queen of All That Exists, Sophie, and she'll poop on you.

            And then i'll retire my fishnets forever.

            So there.
            • And then i'll retire my fishnets forever

              wait a second... on top of accomplished vocalist... a highly skilled art director, oragami expert, professional kitten trainer, highly acclaimed writer... you are *also* a commercial fisherman?

              wow... where do you find the time?
              • ellem, I'm taking your boy to a strip club ASAP. It's for his own damn good.


                • Can WE help it if you spend so much time with women of ill repute that it's the first thing you think of???

                  c'mon, TL, you're turning into a dirty old man, and you're not even old yet!!!

                  *grin*

                • Danny is already a 'playa':

                  True Story:

                  CVS
                  Cute Gothy chick behind the counter:

                  Gothy Chick: Aww you're a little cutie pie.
                  Danny: You're pretty, like my mom.
                  Gothy Chick: <thought_bubble>Can I blow a four year old?</thought_bubble>
                  • Ever see The State (old skit comedy show on MTV)? The did a skit called "Parents, don't let your kids play outside." And it showed some little kids hopping a bus and going to a strip club, and the boy puts a bill in her panties and says that line.
                    • says You're pretty like my mom?
                      really?

                      Never really watched the State. Danny's TV is MTV blocked... Really? hmmmm.
                    • Yeah, this was years ago. I have it on VHS, if you'll send me a TV capture card, I'll dig the VCR out of the closet and send you a videoclip of the skit. :-)
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • it was pretty funny. artie chimed in with a few pretty funny comments about simpson jr and lindsay too
  • Hillary Duff. Yes you look like Jenna Jameson. No you can't fucking sing a note. Get naked already.

    Hell fucking yes - I'm not crazy!

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