Journal dexterpexter's Journal: Marriage, or: One Crazy Friday [Updated] 43
How to get married for $110.50 cash, or: One Crazy Friday
1) Come to a decision on Thursday that you are going to get married on Friday. Call and invite your parents and siblings.
2) On Friday morning, arrive at the court house. Pay $5.25 per car to park.
3) Decide that the elevator is taking too long, so take the escalators instead.
4) Surrender $50 to a disinterested civil servant type who is obviously disappointed with a buggy computer system and who is anticipating lunchtime. Complete paperwork, and then wait until the lady behind the cigar-reeking desk files everything.
5) After this is accomplished, inquire where we might locate a judge to sign our paperwork. Down the hall? Downstairs?
6) Get strange looks. "You want to be married *today*? And not by a minister??"
Yes, that would certainly coincide with our earlier answer ("Today") to the question, "And when is the marriage expected to take place?"
(Note: I am not opposed to being married by a minister. However, in this state, the greater part of the churches to which anyone I trust has a connection, require one year of concentrated, in-church marital counseling, and also oblige you to pledge some very uncomfortable things to which I am unprepared to commit. I recognize that a good number of couples do not live up to these promises, but a pledge made in any church, regardless of denomination or religion, is not something that I take lightly.
Also, when you have dated the same person in a very open, honest relationship for almost 9 years, have been engaged for over a year, have worked together, and have shared a residence for part of that time, that one year of counseling doesn't sound so appealing, especially when you will have moved before it is completed.
Also, given that in 2001, a study revealed that for every 100 marriage licenses issued in this state, 76 of those end in divorce, I think that I will stick with my own means of doing things, and the peace I feel and the support I have been given in this decision encourages me that this is right for me.:)
7) Find out that your state (or at least this city) does not have any judges who are willing to sign those papers. I kid you not.
8) Give a forlorn look to the lady behind the desk, who then hands you two business cards for ministers who will sign the papers.
9) Drive to locate this "chapel," which turns out to be a couple's living room, filled with fake flowers, Christmas lights, music, candles, and pink furniture--the paper bells hanging in front of the house completed the picture. Pay $50. ("Cash. No checks, no money orders, no plastic of any kind. Just cold, hard cash.")
Marriage total cost so far: ($5.25 x 2) + $50+50 = $110.50
10) Have the cutest reverend in the world (this older gentleman who was so endearing and passionate that I almost couldn't believe he was for real) perform the unanticipated ceremony. This gentleman made any reservations I had about marrying in this setting simply disappear--he was that wonderful.
11) Take the reverend's business card to hand out to interested friends, and while shaking his hand and noticing his ring, realize that this intriguing character is also a Mason.
12) Have pictures taken in front of the paper bells, and almost literally roll on the floor laughing out loud from the absurdity of the day.
13) Go to lunch, come home, and...
14) Live happily ever after.
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EDITS/UPDATES:
-Image changed for Johndii.
-I would like to thank you all for your well wishes. I intend to thank each of you, but tonight Slashdot is forcing me to wait several minutes between posting (The Taco thinks I am a Cowboy, apparently) and so I will have to respond tomorrow, perhaps.
-To answer a few comments:-We did not exchange rings, although I believe that we have decided that we will, once we find something that both of us like.
-I do post on/., but I tend to post on other people's journals rather than my own. I do have several text files of things I have intended to post, and never got around to, so I suppose I will have to do so shortly. This might explain why several people have unfriended me. :-/ Thank-you all once again.
Excellent (Score:2)
Re:Excellent (Score:1)
Re:Excellent (Score:2)
PLease keep believing in the Knight Templar by the way...
Re:Excellent (Score:1)
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"
Re:Excellent (Score:2)
Re:Excellent (Score:2)
Re:Excellent (Score:1)
Re:Excellent (Score:1)
IME, big dogs roll around in shit just like the little ones.
Or was this supposed to be a metaphor?
Congratulations (Score:2)
Congratulations!!! (Score:2)
Re:Congratulations!!! (Score:2)
Re:Congratulations!!! (Score:2)
We did exchange rings, but they are simple gold bands. (I actually wear mine on the wrong finger -- the middle one -- because shortly after the wedding I ha
Re:Congratulations!!! (Score:2)
IME couples that don't put a lot into the wedding tend to stick together longer, by the way, so methinks you'll be together a long time. ;-)
Cheers,
Ethelred
Re:Congratulations!!! (Score:2)
Hmmm... too bad they don't make "The One Ring to Rule Them All" in white gold. hehe.
Re:Congratulations!!! (Score:2)
Congratulations (Score:1)
I'm guessing we're not gonna have any cake?
Re:Congratulations (Score:1)
Congrats (Score:2)
Honeymoon?
Re:Congrats (Score:2)
And also I don't like kissing in public.
Congratulations, dexterpexter!
Re:Congrats (Score:1)
Let gm plant one on you, and you'll like getting kissed anywhere.
Time to perfect your 'church tongue'.
Re:Congrats (Score:2)
Though you were drunk, so I guess that's why you weren't on top form.
Cheers,
Ethelred
Re:Congrats (Score:1)
Hey (Score:1)
Holy Shit (Score:2)
Congratulations! I hope the best for you!
Congrats (Score:1)
hooray for doing things on your own terms! (Score:2)
Ugh, tell me about it. I won't go over my tired ol' story again, but suffice to say that I big up the unitarian-type ministers who just say "yeah, do what you wanna." And some of them even take checks!!
So I propose a toast to you two; for taking life on your own terms.
Re:hooray for doing things on your own terms! (Score:2)
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Crap on a Stick! :D (Score:1)
That's the way we did it, too. Except the County Clerk's office had a small room and someone to marry you (and witnesses, as we didn't even have friends and family around).
We waited around for our Titanium rings to come before we got married.
If you're looking for something different and/or interesting, try furthers.com. They've got a neat selection of rings from different artists.
Re:Crap on a Stick! :D (Score:1)
Re:Crap on a Stick! :D (Score:1)
Ben & I have titanium rings - very simple, with a groove down the middle. The groove in my ring is anodized blue, and the groove in his ring is anodized yellow. His ring is wider than mine, to keep the proportions right, as his fingers are larger than mine.
Re:Crap on a Stick! :D (Score:1)
Re:Crap on a Stick! :D (Score:1)
I can't remember how much we paid, but it was much less than buying gold rings.
Re:Crap on a Stick! :D (Score:1)
Re:Crap on a Stick! :D (Score:1)
Re:Crap on a Stick! :D (Score:2)
best wishes (Score:1)
Congratulations! (Score:2)
Congrats! (Score:2)
--Fortunato
I love slashdot geeks... (Score:1)
Love that.
Here's to you and your new hubby having a great marriage.
It's fun, and to be honest, not really all that much work. If you have to work at it constantly, something is wrong.
Anyway, here's to you Dexter:
*Cheers*
Very nice (Score:2)
So, what's next on the list? :-)
Congratulations (Score:2)
Congratulations! (Score:1)