compugasm's Journal: Your Cat Is Annoying Me

I'm supposed to be talking about cats today, but see, here's the thing. I've been doing some research into topics to talk about, and I'm so annoyed with "cat people" that it's difficult to muster the strength to even type this. What I find most annoying, is how they talk as if THEY are the cat, speaking for the person. "My owner loves me, and tickles me... hehehe" It's sickening really. I'm convinced that cat people are either crippled alcoholics, desperate to talk to ANYONE who will listen, or they're 10yr olds.

This poses somewhat of a dilemma for me. It is these very people that I depend on to buy my furniture. However, I cringe when I have to talk to them, or read their emails about what Mr. Wiggles did today. But the worst is when a feline friend passes into the great beyond. Gosh almighty, the eulogy of a cat is something I hadn't considered someone would actually take the time to write. I'm not faulting someone for loving their cat. What I don't understand, is why send these manifestos to a complete stranger... Why send them to me?

I think my problem, is I may have suggested to one person, that the best way to clean a cat, is with a fire hose. That was a joke, but it does make sense in a way. Have you ever tried to give a cat a bath? Well, the best way would be with a fire hose if you want to know. I guess that funny advice, just doesn't seem to register with crazy people, and they seriously think I use a fire hose on cats. Good grief, I can see you over the internet. You're mad at me now for making fun of you. You're plotting, making lists, and waiting. Well, I have it on good authority that cats do not make good snipers.

I'm speaking to those people that dress their cats in Halloween costumes and give them Christmas presents. I find putting clothing on cats both ridiculous and disturbing; ridiculous due to the concept of costumed animals, and disturbing because who has that much time on their hands, to design pet costumes?

The Truth

[Qzukk]

is how they talk as if THEY are the cat, speaking for the person. "My owner loves me, and tickles me... hehehe" It's sickening really. I'm convinced that cat people are either crippled alcoholics, desperate to talk to ANYONE who will listen, or they're 10yr olds.

http://www.xkcd.com/c231.html [xkcd.com]