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Journal btlzu2's Journal: Wife-swapping is your future, you know that it would suit ya 59

Journal by btlzu2

I was at a remote site today working with this guy I've known for about 10 years. Anyway, he was telling me about his last vacation with his wife. They went to one of those Hedonism places. He proceeded to tell me in detail about how he swapped his wife with another couple and how everyone was laying around having sex everywhere.

Now get this...he asks if fdb & I would consider doing this with him and his wife. :) HA! Weird wacky stuff. Talking about this at work of all places.

Well you all know me, I said yes and we're all flying out to Cali for some good times yo!!! Boy, is fdb in for a surprise.

NOT.

Holy shit, I could NEVER do that with fdb. We're VERY secure in our relationship, but sheesh, that's just...odd.

For some reason, I completely avoided shaking his hand when we said goodbye (there wasn't soap and water around for miles). ;)

This discussion was created by btlzu2 (99039) for no Foes, but now has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

Wife-swapping is your future, you know that it would suit ya More

Wife-swapping is your future, you know that it would suit ya

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  • Or no. One of those two. I'm thinking the latter. I'm all open minded and shit, just not with my life. :^)
  • Bumper sticker: "I got a gun for my wife. Best trade I ever made."

  • It seems to me that most all swingers and such seem to fall into the category of hairy overweight 50+ out of shape weirdos.

    Where are all the hot swinging people I see in movies?!

    You know, where a hot lesbian couple trade partners with the other hot lesbian couple living next door.

  • have a private access specifier in my home.
    Rights of all other consenting adults respected, details ignored.
  • It really would ,,, ofcourse though if it was a woman and her girlfreind that offerd it would be a win-win situation :D (yes i know ,Im male though its natural , to be honest though i wouldn't even then (I think j/k ... maybe)but gota keep that macho exterior up ) .. in all seriousness though that is really unprofesional and technicaly sexual harrasment.you dont jsut proposition co-workers like that (unless he just hapend to be at the site walking by).
  • eeewwww

    i guess i'm just too old fashioned and conservative to even consider such a vile thing.

    ooops... was i just being close minded and repressive?

  • We're VERY secure in our relationship, but sheesh, that's just...odd.

    What does being "secure" in your relationship have anything to do with it? Maybe I'm old fashioned, but part of our marriage vows was to stay true only to each other. I mean, is monogamy the point of marriage?

    Perhaps I'm sensitive to the "security" issue. My wife and I have been accused of being insecure because we have rules regarding our behavior intended to guard our marriage. For example, I don't go out to lunch with a sin

    • I think that as long as you're upfront and honest you can avoid the appearance of impropriety even without rules. Meaning, advance notice that I'm going out to lunch with someone will greatly reduce any suspcisions.

      I'm cool with the wife going out alone to see a band that a friend of hers is in. Even after she's declared that he's hot. No problem at all with it. Just as long as she informs me in advance. If she were to "forget" to tell me that she had lunch with someone last week on the other hand... then

      • Now, every relationship is different and I don't think there's a one true way. But that's how we do it.
        Exactly. It's cool how couples come up with their own guidelines that they're comfortable with! It makes for a stronger relationship IMO--assuming you can agree on a framework of course.

      • I think that as long as you're upfront and honest you can avoid the appearance of impropriety even without rules

        Actually, it's not so much the appearance of impropriety with each other, as it is with other people. But yeah, I do agree that our rule is not for everyone, it's just something we've decided on as a couple. I just dislike other people thinking that must mean we aren't "secure" in our relationship. Perhaps I care too much what other people think of me.

    • Hey, I agree with you! (That's a first in a while...) ;)

      However, let me put it this way.... If you DID interpret marriage differently and more loosely, but remained committed to staying with and working with that person your entire life, would a couple who is unsure about each other be able to survive wife-swapping?

      I've just gone through a thought-experiment of what would be required to have this "alternative lifestyle". Security in each other would have to be a requirement for the relationship to cont

      • However, let me put it this way.... If you DID interpret marriage differently and more loosely, but remained committed to staying with and working with that person your entire life, would a couple who is unsure about each other be able to survive wife-swapping?

        Ok, first I wouldn't call that kind of interpretation "marriage". I guess though, that's a symptom of the constant redefinition of marriage that our society is playing around with :-)

        But, ignoring that fact, you would have a point. You woul

        • You're a very good man M.C. Hampster. :)

          Regardless of your flaws as a computer geek. hehehe

          • You're a very good man M.C. Hampster. :)

            While I appreciate the sentiment, I can tell you honestly, it ain't me :-) If it weren't for Jesus, I would probably be typing this response in Internet Explorer.

            Regardless of your flaws as a computer geek. hehehe

            Hey, I resemble that remark. :-)

            • Well, as you probably know, I believe in a more, erm, earthly reason for why things are and I think it's because YOU do the work. Jesus ain't coming down here telling you not to use IE. :)

              What it all comes down to is that you're conscientious and you believe in your views strongly and try to remain consistent with those beliefs--I didn't say you were perfect. That makes YOU a good person IMO.

      • Hehe, two things:

        I would start having any sort of romantic feelings for an opposite sex friend, I would put the brakes on IMMEDIATELY--at the VERY FIRST SIGN of anything.

        Sooo, are you dropping hints that you're "open minded" with same sex friends?

        And:

        I loathe and insanely oppose cheating--I feel very guilty oftentimes for finding the random woman stranger attractive. That's how far my disdain of relationship impropriety goes.

        I go the other way. I just tell the wife when I see someone attractive. "Hey,

    • I'm the same way. I have not been to lunch with a single female. I have been to lunch with a married female friend before. My wife and I are friends with the husband and wife, and the wife is a coworker. I didn't see what the problem was at first since there was no chance anything would happen, but it made my wife uncomfortable. That's the important part. So I stopped doing it, and we'd all four hang out together or go get food or whatever. I would still go to lunch with her, but only if her husband

      • That's the important part.

        See, I like hearing that kind of thing. I think in marriage, we can get far too concerned about what we want, and what we want to do, rather than putting our spouse first. Of course, some will take advantage of a giving spouse, but luckily I'm not one of them. :-)

      • I wouldn't do anything that would make my wife uncomfortable. However I wouldn't mind if she had lunch with a male co-worker because I know she has eyes only for me. I think she's more naturally faithfull than I am. I'm only faithfull because I work at it because I love her - so I wouldn't have lunch with an attractive female co-worker as much to avoid temptation as to avoid arousing her suspicion.
    • For example, I don't go out to lunch with a single other female.

      Umm... WTF? How does that invalidate your marriage vows again?

      Wouldn't you having lunch with a single male give the appearance of impropriety as well? After all, people could think you're gay or something. Never mind having lunch with a single sheep =)

      I see what you're saying, I mean, but isn't that a bit much??


      • It doesn't invalidate my marriage vows. That's not the reasoning I used when trying to explain my behavior. And seriously, I doubt people are going to wonder if I'm gay because they seeing me hang out with another guy. However, if people I knew saw me hanging out with another woman, you never know what they might think.

        But you are right, it goes definitely past what is necessary. (Hence the title of my post :-)

        • I understand what you're saying, and it's your (and your wife's) prerogative to do whatever you consider necessary or desirable to make your relationship work. However,

          I doubt people are going to wonder if I'm gay because they seeing me hang out with another guy. However, if people I knew saw me hanging out with another woman, you never know what they might think

          Seriously, this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I can apply your logic to both cases and in both cases think or not think dark thoughts

          • Seriously, this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I can apply your logic to both cases and in both cases think or not think dark thoughts about why you're hanging out with someone. Sorry, but that's kind of a half-hearted teetotaler attitude (if there can be such a thing) - however, like I said, it's your marriage. I'm not specifically saying that's right or wrong because it's none of my business.

            Yes, you can apply ridiculous logic to any situation. There's a point where someone's twisted though

      • This will be a check for me if I understand what he's saying.

        He and his wife have agreed on a stricter set of rules because they don't even want to come anywhere NEAR temptation. It's a personal choice of theirs and completely valid I would say. It's not about their vows as much as about just not even going there. :)
        • they don't even want to come anywhere NEAR temptation

          That's an entirely different thing. MC mentioned appearances, not temptation.

          If you're going to lunch with a female (or whatever) and you're experiencing temptation then you have a problem regardless of any appearances =)

          • If you're going to lunch with a female (or whatever) and you're experiencing temptation then you have a problem regardless of any appearances =)

            Then I have a problem, because part of me wants to bonk every good-looking chick I see. Fortunately the part of me that loves my wife is stronger.

            I heard someone describe at as two sides of one's nature being like to fighting dogs. When asked "which dog wins" the person replied "the one I feed". If I hang around hot chicks alone then I'm feeding the wrong dog.
            • I can understand your "problem". I have the same one and my future brother-in-law does as well. I suppose a lot of men refuse to admit it, but I reckon it's more common than people admit to.

              Of course, my love for my fiancee will always trump that base instinct to boink other hot women.

              We just have more testosterone than most... ;)
            • Then I have a problem, because part of me wants to bonk every good-looking chick I see.

              Well, I'd say there are degrees to this. Sure, you can have a friendship or professional relationship with a woman you find attractive and think "wow, this girl is really hot", but that doesn't mean you want to have sex with her, and it doesn't mean you think about that 24/7.

              Or you could get all hot and bothered every time you're 3 feet away from her, mutter her name at night and try to find excuses to be around her,

          • If you're going to lunch with a female (or whatever) and you're experiencing temptation then you have a problem regardless of any appearances =)

            Yuri I guess said it best, although I can't say I have the same problem as him. I'm not saying going to lunch with a female will immediately make me tempted. The problem is, you don't know beforehand if you are going to be tempted or not. And ultimate, even if one doesn't feel temptation or romantic feelings before an event, it doesn't mean that they won't

    • I have a female friend who I've known since kindergarten. She was my "girlfriend" in first grade (Aww... how cute.) and we dated (for real) in HS. I was in her wedding. She's still a very close friend and she talks to me about her family (she has a little girl now) and I tell her about my dating life. We meet for lunch at least once a month and usually 2 or 3 times. Her husband knows and he approves of this. I've met him and he is a powerful man of God and he has my respect. I am glad they are togeth

      • Yeah, I realize that some of the things I do in my life aren't the result of a Biblical commandment, but more so, just my own beliefs. Many times, these beliefs just came from my parents, or from being "old fashioned". I occasionally have to remind myself of that fact, so as not to judge other Christians. :-)

        (Oh, and blitzlulu: sorry for filling up your JE today :-)

  • "I'm talkin' about wife swappin' !"
    SMACK!!

    I love that part of the movie.

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