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Journal bethanie's Journal: Appetizing Young ??? for Sale 62

Journal by bethanie
So today's my birthday. I'm 31 years old. I'm happy to be in my 30s -- it makes me feel so much more legitimate. One nice thing about it is that (most) people stop calling you a kid. That always irked me.

Speaking of kids, there's something that's been on my mind, with all this talk of "Everyone having a price." The fact that I share a birthday with Macaulay Culkin (don't pretend you don't know who he is) seemed to divine it as providence that I should write about this today.

And my subject is this: whoring children out as models, actors, pageant contestants, what-have-you. OK. Maybe "whoring" is a strong term, and obviously belies my opinion about the matter. But really, that's what it is. You're renting out your kid (her looks, her abilities, her mystique) for money (for glory, for status... some kind of compensation). And I'm not necessarily talking about child actors -- kids who are even old enough to say, "Mommy, I want to be on T.V.!" I'm talking about the *really* little ones. The angelic little babies you see in catalogs and Baby Gap ads. In formula ads.

I suppose that my MAJOR problem (because there are also several minor ones) with this is that it places just too much emphasis on a child's looks, on her outward appearance and characteristics. Even the littlest children learn *very* quickly what their parents (and other grownups) hold important. It's gotta be a very warping experience to have so much attention given to your "cuteness." What happens when the cuteness fades? When you enter your Chelsea years (which, sadly enough, she has yet to grow out of)?

I always make a concerted effort to emphasize my appreciation of my daughter's intelligence and behavior (as well as complimenting her looks, too, because, well, dammit, she's just downright adorable). Every night, as part of our bedtime ritual, after the teeth are brushed and the jammies are on, we lie in bed and I do a review of our day. I always pick out one special characteristic that she exhibited through her behavior. Sometimes it's independence, other times it's sense of humor, self-reliance, obedience, intelligence, insight, articulateness (why does that word seem *so* INarticulate?!)... and I always tie it up with, "I love you very, very much, and I'm very lucky to be your Momma!" And of course, the kisses. Dozens upon dozens.

It's a good way to end the day, and I know that she looks forward to it, because while we're lying there snuggling, if I don't start into the recap, she urges me to "tell [her] 'bout things."

In any case, motherly tenderness aside, I just can't see myself putting a child into a pageant. Or getting her into "modeling." Or any other public display of her image. Hell, I didn't even sign the release to allow any photos of her from preschool to be used in the newspaper!

I would, however, let her picture be used in a breastfeeding advocacy publication. Or one that promotes using Sign Language with pre-verbal children. But not for money. If they pay a licensing fee, it's going into her savings, not my pocket.

What about you? Would you consider lending your child's image to promote a certain cause or campaign? Where does the money enter into it? Would covering college tuition be enough? Is there *any* price you would accept for putting your child's face on a cause that you *didn't* believe in (a Microsoft ad, for instance)? Do you a draw a line? Where? How much?
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Appetizing Young ??? for Sale

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  • Happy birfday Deah Befanie. Happy birf day to youse.

    Sing that as if you were a 5 year old new yorker. ;)

    Congrats. Allow me to help you across the street, old lady ;)
  • Happy birthday! (I promise I won't sing like I did in SamTheButcher's journal).

    Just a few weeks ago, while getting my haircut, I was asked what grade I was in! Well, i just turned 30.

    On the rest of your JE: right on!

    • Just a few weeks ago, while getting my haircut, I was asked what grade I was in! Well, i just turned 30.

      I hear you on that 1. I also turned 30, a short while ago.

      The only difference is that I cut my own hair.

      Bethanie, happy birthday. & I would never submit my daughter/child to a competition & pagent. In general, I think that it's good to get them to compete, but I don't like them competing on looks or physical fitness. I'd rather see them compete on intelligence & good character [that is, if y

      • Oops. I forgot to mention that I don't mind letting the kid model for money, as long as the product & company don't involve moral issues. There are specific companies that I wouldn't allow him to model for, but that's more of a boycotting issue than a direct moral issue.

        I don't mind letting him model & act, because there are specific financial returns that can be used to pay for the needs of the family. However, that's not necessarily true for competitions.
  • Happy 'butt-fucking animal-ass' birthday

    (apologies, StB) ;-)
    • Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • Completely o/t: I put an entry in the Fark PS contest with your son in it. He is freakin' adorable!
    • Oh... that one got me!

      As for the kid stuff, I don't have any, but when I was with the psycho, I was pretty protective of her little girl. But she was really cute, and did some of the beauty contest things, but also played sports and did spelling bee's and such. I don't think there is anything wrong with celebrating a child's beauty or cuteness or whatever, as long as you don't lead them to believe that beauty is ALL they have to offer. Who doesn't like to be told they are attractive or look good? I was

  • All these Virgos around here, driving me crazy. Argh! Just remember, dear, I'll always be younger than you by... *12 whole days*!! Ha! :-P

    As for the rest of your JE, did our little e-mail exchange get you thinking? ;) And yes, she *is* that cute that she could be on the next Microsoft (or whatever) ad. I can see it now: Windows XP 2003 (2004?): So easy to use, even a 3 year-old can use it!

  • Save some cake for the rest of us!

    And by the way, Chelsea Clinton is waaay past the awkward stage. And not just her looks- she's a lot more confidant.

    And on to the child-selling...

    Pageants and beauty contests leave a really butt fucking animal ass icky taste in my mouth, because they really emphasize looks. And it isn't just the "aw..look how cute you are" looks it's the "you're not good enough the way you are so we have to slap lipstick and mascara on your 4 year old face" looks. That's more harmful
    • Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • Disclaimer: I don't care how hypocritical it is to discuss this in this particular JE (because I don't see it as such -- our children are personal, this girl is a public figure, for what that's worth).

      Chelsea may be "past" the awkward stage, but IMO, it's a *good* thing she's got brains, money, and powerful parents on her side, because the girl did NOT get any favors in the looks department.

      C'mon, guys, everyone here who thinks Chelsea's a hottie raise your hand!

      /me looks around, listens to crickets
      • She may not be a 'hottie' to everyone, but there's nothing wrong with her - I could certainly tolerate her company with a smile, and I certainly wouldn't kick her out of bed.

        She's not a hottie by your standards perhaps, but she is (in some pictures, anyway, and we all take bad pictures) good-looking, so why promote the idea that she has to be good-looking to everyone's standards? No one is, after all.

        --Dan
        • Hey, *I'm* not a hottie by my standards. But the girl is U-G-L-Y, homely. I remember feeling sorry for her being in the public eye while she was going through that horrible pubescent phase; I went through that, and boy, do I wish I could burn those pictures.

          In any case, I figured she'd grow out of it, that she'd blossom, and then everything would be OK. But she DIDN'T. I never thought Bill and Hillary were particularly unattractive (physically speaking), but gosh -- she got the worst of both parents.

          Now

      • C'mon, guys, everyone here who thinks Chelsea's a hottie raise your hand!

        /me raises hand.

        Seriously, c'mon. She's cute. The freckles. Her chubby cheeks. She's just cute.

        Maybe I just have weird tastes. I thought Heather Donahue looked cute--when she was in the Blair Witch Project...though in her later years, I thought she looked a bit weird. She has this huge forehead. I'm not sure what changed. I think she lost some weight.

        BTW, Happy Birthday!!!

      • I love redheads.
      • I wouldn't kick her out of bed if she farted...
  • Happy Birthday!

    Of course, that's young as in single-unattached-no-financial-burdens... my co-workers give me envious looks when they catch me looking at them as they get told of the latest mishap at home... ;-)

    Oh, and I'm with you on keeping the childhood years for being a child, as opposed to being a small workhorse. Having seen some of the documentaries on MTV about the likes of Britney, Christina and Beyonce being groomed for stardom from an early age, I think that making such choices (or rather, havi
  • I'll be 33 in October, so I will always be able to irk you. Mwahahaha! (Thanks, MT, for being even older than me.) I still get my ID checked pretty frequently, though. I used to work for a university, and when I ran my beard trimmer over my goatee one morning without checking the height gauge first -- Doh! -- and, thus, went to work clean-shaven, my student workers laughed at me and said I looked 12. Actually, one argued for 10.

    Seeing Jon Benet Ramsey on TV made me almost physically ill every time. I

    • I still get my ID checked pretty frequently, though

      When I was 21 (about 1 year ago), I had to show my ID to a Mall of America security guard because I was without my parents on a Saturday evening. You have to be 16. My theory is a power-tripping rental cop, because I do not look 15. If I did, there would certainly be more career options for me.
      • It may have been the Rent-a-Cop power trip thing, or maybe he just wanted to get your name and numbers, and he figured you'd never give them to a mall Rent-a-cop.

        Flirtation for guys without the ba^H^H guts to flirt.

        • It was a woman.

          And you just censored yourself among a group of people currently throwing around the phrase "butt fucking animal ass." :)
          • And your point is...? Oh!

            :s/he/she/g
            :s/guys/girls/g

            "And you just censored yourself among a group of people currently throwing around the phrase "butt fucking animal ass." :)"

            ...and it caught your attention :) Actually, I'm just fed up with all the profanity these pigfuckers are throwing around. They should grow up.

            "balls" does have more balls than "guts", but it tends to imply you have to be a boy to be ballsy, when in reality I don't think I have the balls to be a girl. So there! ;)

    • It's that delicate balance between helping a child recognize and develop its talents, and being a pushy, controlling parent who creates the next serial killer. Good luck, Bethanie. ;)

      Well, we'll work on the serial killer, but she's pretty persnickety about getting her hands dirty. I think maybe "Evil Overlord" or "Sociopathic Mastermind" is more her speed.

      As for the spanking... saving *those* for tonight! ;-)

      ....Bethanie....
  • articulateness (why does that word seem *so* INarticulate?!)

    Perhaps we should call it articulitude instead... :-p
    • And where does the emPHAsis go there?

      I vote for artiCULitude. :-)

      ....Bethanie....
      • You put the wrong em-PHA-sis on the wrong syl-LA-ble, dear bethanie... :-p

        I'm gonna vote ar-TIC-ul-i-tude.
        • Yes. That's the joke.

          (I just want to make sure that you realize I didn't make a mistake -- because I'm a Virgo, and that kind of thing is REALLY REALLY REALLY important, dammit!)

          Now excuse me, I have to go clean something.

          ....Bethanie....
  • I can say that 'cuz I'm 4 years and 16 days your senior! :-p

    I REALLY like that review the day thing. That's really good parenting.
    • FWIW, Hubby's 10 years and 22 days older. So he's got y'all pretty much beat, from the looks of things. (Oh, and RW, he likes your sig. Says it reminds him of his "Hack" playing days.) :-)

      And yes, it is good parenting. Since she's not sleeping in the same bed or even in the same room anymore, it gives us a chance to share thoughts and have quiet conversation for a while at the end of what are becoming increasingly busy days. She's young for it now, but I envision this developing into a nightly ritual wher
      • But then again, I'm a heathen, so that's not saying much.
        But we love you anyway. :-)

        non-judgmental time for discussion and appreciation of what we have...
        That's good, that will make her feel comfortable with you, knowing she can tell you what's going on in her life without fearing you will blow up about it. My mother did this, and I tell her EVERYTHING. Even when I was taking ecstacy, I told her about that. She just told me to be careful, and asked me if it was safe. She came up one evening and we

  • Another old lady in the world. Happy bday.

    I disagree a bit with the 'review the day'. The whole thing seems a bit treacly sweet. Nothing bad about it, it just isn't my thing.

    As far as the other bit... Before Angie got sick, we were approached every time we got Joseph's portrait taken (about five or six times, not from narcicism, but other things. Irrelevent here) the photographer really wanted us to talk to a friend of his/hers in advertising. We talked about it, and figured that $5000-$10000 put in t-bil
    • I disagree a bit with the 'review the day'. The whole thing seems a bit treacly sweet. Nothing bad about it, it just isn't my thing.

      Well, no, that wouldn't be your thing, would it? But you're also a man raising a boy -- talk just ain't in the genes.

      For more input on how I view the whole "daily recap" thing, read my reply post to Red Warrior, above.

      ....Bethanie....
      • Well, no, that wouldn't be your thing, would it? But you're also a man raising a boy -- talk just ain't in the genes.

        That's rather a throwback to the 50's statement, ain't it? Your Smith Alumna would be proud;)

        But yes, squashing bugs, chasing dogs, and the proper manner of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer (wear a helmet, of course!) are much higher on the list of life lessons than 'sharing our feelings'. (Interestingly, given the tight-lipped midwestern/old-world upbringing of my wife, I'm far

  • there *any* price you would accept for putting your child's face on a cause that you *didn't* believe in (a Microsoft ad, for instance)?

    Heck, I'd give my child to Microsoft R&D for free.

  • someone i know was a child model. once when asked (by someone else, not me) about using his savings from those years. he suddenly looked surprised and asked, "i got paid for that?" true story.
  • On the renting out kids thing, I think that exposing them to a modelling type environment would be a butt-fucking animal ass bad idea. If someone wants to license a photo you have of them for a decent reason (breastfeeding advocacy, something the kid actually likes perhaps, if a swingset company needed a picture of a kid on swings for an ad and the kid likes swings anyhow). But any funds from it would either go directly into savings for them in some fashion.
    • breastfeeding advocacy, something the kid actually likes
      That sentence read MUCH differently when I missed the comma the first time around! :-)

      Hey, it's bethanie's birthday. She should get a break, and SOMEBODY has to make those remarks. Happy birthday, Bethanie!

    • Hi Bethanie,
      I couldn't reply directly to your journal entry, so Happy Birthday! I'm glad you like your thirties; I'm 32 now, and I agree, it's a good kind-of age to be!
      Thanks for dropping by my journal; I was feeling a little lost at first, so it's been good to find a bunch of folks drop me a quick reply to my questions!
      As for child actors, Oooo, I suppose that I think that there are degrees of compromise as a parent. I'd accept cash (as a parent) to promote Micro$oft's products (being just a m
      • I couldn't reply directly to your journal entry, so Happy Birthday!

        Am I missing something? I thought you just did.

        Thanks for the input, otherwise.

        ....Bethanie....
        • I couldn't reply directly to your journal entry, so Happy Birthday!
          Am I missing something? I thought you just did.
          I replied to someone who replied to you!
          • Ah, yes.

            But everyone can post in my journal -- I don't have it restricted -- no friends of friends or anything. So, you're welcome to chime in any time! :-)

            ....Bethanie....
  • Happy 31st!

    The only "modeling" my kids have ever done was when my now-4-year-old daughter was about 6 months. The mall portrait studio put her in a flower pot with an Ann Geddes-like sunflower hat. Steph loved every minute of it and we got the cutest picture! They asked us to sign a release to be able to use it in an ad if they wanted. Nothing big; they made a couple copies and put it in some frames they had on display. I think we may have gotten a couple free 8x10s out of it.

    I would never put her out int
  • Enjoy your birthday, Bethanie. What do you want for your birthday?
  • Care for some cake? It's still sitting in my fridge...

    I am not a mother. But i think that i might be willing to let my kid model for causes that i thought a) were fairly benevolent and b) were noncontroversial. With all the money going into college trust fund.

    Why the politically neutral? Because someday, this kid is gonna turn to me and say, "Mum, how could you do that?" and if i can say, "Because it was for a company/cause that did lots of good, and here's the money waiting for you," that's one thing. Bu

    • Care for some cake? It's still sitting in my fridge...

      Uh.... no thanks! shuddering at the thought

      :-)

      You'll be just delighted to know that I have just baked up a scrumptious 2-layer Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake with Hot Fudge Icing, and once it cools I'm going to cover it with Cream Cheese Frosting, as well. :-)

      This is my birthday indulgence. Well, the cake, and Slashdotting nearly all day. :-)

      ....Bethanie....

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