RobertB-DC's Journal: .sig archive

I think my "bio" section is about to overflow, so here is my collection of incredibly witty .sigs. Or at least, my "as witty as possible in 120 characters" witty .sigs.

I wrote my first Wikipedia article based on a .sig I kept seeing: "DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BALL!". That's where this .sig came from:

See Wikipedia for my sig.

I keep replying to Anonymous Cowards, even though I know they'll probably never even know I read their post.

Replying to ACs... kind of like kissing your sister. I think. I'm an only child.

Here's the one that I use when I get mod points and need some assistance.

Help me moderate! Underdogs wanted!

Looking for some culture? How about Albert Camus' L'Etranger? I think it sums up the Slashdot experience perfectly. Google around for a version with proper accents, and an English translation.

Il me restait a souhaiter qu'il y ait beaucoup de spectateurs... et qu'ils m'accueillent avec des cris de haine.

Anyone who's lived in Dallas has probably seen Billy L. Nabors' demolition company trucks. They're the ones with the unique combination of slogans: "We Could Wreck The World" and right below it "Jesus Saves". They're angling to be God's contractors for the coming Apocalypse, I think.

Uh Oh.

In November 2003, over 50 people died in bombings in Turkey, and US soldiers were dying at a rate of about one a day in Iraq. So what story did CNN run with for days and days that month? Some washed-up singer's supposed indiscretions with underaged boys.

Dozens dead in Turkey, soldiers dying in Baghdad, and CNN's got wall-to-wall coverage of WHAT?!?

I'd heard references to the famous handshake between Donald "Send in the Special Forces" Rumsfeld and Saddam "What, me evil?" Hussein. Note to the US administration: to forgive is divine, but most religions require acknowledging your sins before they can be forgiven...

I guess we all make mistakes, don't we?

This one is pretty self-explanatory:

Karma: Nirvana (mostly due to +5, Troll)

Someone posted a link to the Dialectizer, and I discovered:

Hey, my site looks even better in Redneck!

Our illustrious president, lovingly known 'round here as "Dubya", let loose a hot one in his State of the Union address. In order to placate the ultra-right, he said that he would protect the "sanctity of marriage" through the "constitutional process". Did anyone bother to look up "sancity" in the dictionary? Ever hear of "separation of church and state"? Or did I wake up in Iran this morning?

Since when is anything's "Sanctity" a US Govt fctn?

I love being a Slashdot subscriber. One of the cool things is seeing a story appear in the "Mysterious Future", only to have the story disappear when the future arrives. I call these the Ghosts of Slashdot -- stories that got yanked for some good reason, showing a bit of what goes on "behind the curtain". I'll keep this one around and pull it out whenever another ghost makes its appearance.

Check out the Ghosts of Slashdot! Upd date

Slashdot personals were one thing -- you can imagine a girl wanting to date a geek. We fix things. But Slashdot want ads? I came up with three sigs for this one (probably 'cause I'm jealous):

Solitaire too productive? Try Slashdot TechJobs
You'd hire someone who /.'s all day?
Spend all day on Slashdot & get hired?

I finally got busted for Karma Whoring. For the first time since my early days, I got knocked down from "Excellent", past "Good", all the way to "Positive"! It didn't take long to climb back, but now I know how it feels to watch every moderation to see if it's thumbs-up or thumbs-down. But look what came across the mod wire:

"...a moderation of "Informative" (-1) to your comment." WTF?

This one's just a silly Matrix riff.

"...both the red and blue pills, Neo, you'll have zero heartburn."

And this one's just silly.

Warning: Girl Geeks are automatically added to my Friends list. As if anyone would care...

Some .sigs are more effective than others. Some are too effective. I had one right after the 2004 US election that summed up my feelings quite nicely... and got no moderation. Nobody would mod me up *or* down. So...

The Moderators told me to change my .sig, so I did.

A new marketing paradigm! Or some crap like that. Anyway, these guys have managed to hold on to the pre-bust dot-com-biz irreverence, so I've declared them linkworthy.

w00t? [woot.com] w00t!

Michael Jackson...

[hkmwbz]

Strange that these charges against MJ are brought up right before a new release, and also while bad things are happening to US soldiers and allies... Lots of conspiracy theories can be made from that!

The MJ business is dirty, though. Everyone is convinced that he's guilty. They were last time too, but like last time, things don't quite seem right. Why did the boy during the last case, where MJ had to pay millions of dollars to get out of it, not say anything about sexual abuse until his dentist father und

Re:Michael Jackson...

[RobertB-DC]

Excellent points, all! If CNN & co. were actually doing more than showing pictures of slow-moving SUV's, and trotting out supposed "experts" who don't know any more about the case than the audience does, it would be different.

As it is, though -- or at least as it was last week, which is the last time I've watched any news channel -- they're playing it like a particularly lurid episode of the Jerry Springer Show.

This pandering does nothing to promote justice -- either for the kid, or for the accused.

Re:News sources

[RobertB-DC]

Sorry I didn't reply right away... but then, any reply will be rather pointless, won't it? It's an AC post with a nonsensical statement like this:

NPR is the official news of the government, and tends to be hard-left (probably because they benefit when the government wastes more money on meddliny in the news).

If you can get anyone on Fox News to agree that NPR is the official news of George Dubya's government, I'll eat my hat.

(Disclaimer: I do not wear a hat)