*when leaving car*
"You did it! The Lexus brought you luck! Unfortunately, the Lexus cannot accompany you any further, and must be euthanized. State and local regulations prevent you from leaving your Lexus alone and companionless. If your Lexus could talk - and the Enrichment Center reminds you that it cannot - it would tell you that it would rather die in a fire than inconvience you."
*after a crash*
"Spectacular. You appear to understand how the Lexus conserves momentum - or to be more precise, how it does not. All Lexus technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin. Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Goodbye."
*when coming out of repair shop*
"Remember when the Lexus caught on fire and I said, "Goodbye." and you were like, "No Way!" and then I was all "We pretended that we were going to murder you? That was great."
Prototype designs always work. -- Don Vonada