The problem is when the genuinely useful features take a back seat to user-hostile features like shoving ads in your face, or vehicle functionality which is present but disabled unless you pay more to activate it etc.
Yes. No.
The ads thing and the distraction can fuck all the way off. But your other point is widely off base. At no point were you ever paying a vehicle for the hardware. You were paying for a functionality. Hell even in the 90s you ended up with different models of vehicle with different engine power largely differentiated by ... some software settings in the ECU. The whole heated seats debacle is nothing more than people turning off their brains. You get what you pay for. You don't pay for heated seats, you don't have heated seats. You do pay for heated seats, you do have heated seats. But for some reason BMW giving you the option of getting heated seats later without having to pay thousands of dollars to have seats replaced causes people to freak out.
Please tell me how is this bad for you:
Past situation:
a) You bought a car with heated seats and have heated seats.
b) You bought a car without heated seats and don't have heated seats.
c) You bought a car without heated seats, wanted heated seats, and had to pay thousands to swap out your seats to get heated seats, now you have heated seats.
Present:
a) You bought a car with heated seats and have heated seats.
b) You bought a car without heated seats and don't have heated seats.
c) You bought a car without heated seats, wanted heated seats, and paid either a one off fee to have it enabled without intrusive work, or pay a small monthly fee you can stop later, now you have heated seats (and more money in your pocket).
d) You bought a car without heated seats but since the heater is present anyway you hacked it and now you have free heated seats.
How is that BMW situation not better for you as the customer? It literally has all the old functionality with extra choices, one of which is cheaper and faster.
There are also useful features like navigation that are either poorly implemented, or users just don't know how to use them. This also puts users off.
A great many idiots buy cars for the colour, or the vroom vroom sound and then complain about poorly implemented features like navigation. The trick is buy a car considering the entire package instead. E.g. there was no car at the top of my list which didn't have Google Maps as the primary navigation system. Not one. I have zero tolerance for poorly integrated features. But some people are more interested in "does it come in red?" and then complain about infotainment system on the way home. (By the way even before BMW went full retard with ads they were on my shit list. Their infotainment system is horrible)
If you're driving an older vehicle that never had ABS at all then you get a free pass.
Yes attrition is built into the law. It's why there's virtually no cars left on the road without ABS. Or do you suggest the government run a safety program that requires the population to collectively scrap millions of vehicles at once? No that would be silly. Also some integrated features make more sense for new vehicles. E.g. my car would fail roadworthy inspection if the cross movement detection didn't work. My previous car didn't have that feature, but critically, I could actually see out of my previous car because tiny windows seem to be a modern design "feature". So from a safety point of view that's a wash.
While i can understand the safety reasons here, this annoys people especially older drivers.
Honestly I have no time for people who are annoyed by things that actively make their lives better. It's the I got mine, fuck those other's mentality. Those grumpy old shits need to be reminded they live in a society and it's not all about them.