Become a fan of Slashdot on Facebook

 


Forgot your password?
Close
typodupeerror
This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

finish the post above yours... More

finish the post above yours...

Comments Filter:
  • I woke up this morning and...
  • then the next day i decided to start off with...
    • a tasty western omelet from IHOP, where I met my friend
      • the oft-forgotten blue oompa loompa. he took me to...
        • a man who could show me the way to the next..
          • For I was searching for the way to San Jose...
            • Odd submit/preview bastard buttons....

              it should read:

              the next suishi bar, for I was searching for the way to San Jose...
              • ...where I had heard many a strange tale of a man with an enormous "Jose", for which the town had been named. Eager to make the acquaintance of such a man, I...
                • started questioning the usual suspects. if they didn't answer my questions the easy way, i stopped asking nicely and...
                  • started "pumping" them for information, which is what got me into trouble with Bill Murray (damn him and that jumpsuit, anyway!) in the first place.

                    The pumping didn't get me very far -- mostly it just seemed to evoke expletives and plenty of religious enthusiasm.

                    Pretty soon, I realized that if I really wanted to get where I was headed, I'd have to quit all this screwing around and just go buy a map. As I headed into the local filling station, I heard strains of that Dionne Warwick song, "Do you know the
                  • ran into the man named Red Foot...
                    • who, though having two feet both a deep shade of plum, did have quite an impressive...

                      (extra credit for avoiding the obvious - bethanie)
                    • ...head of hair. Thick and lustrous, it looked like something out of a shampoo ad.

                      Not being able to help myself, I sauntered over, pressed myself against him, and running my hands through his hair, I whispered into his ear, "Are you the man they call Red Foot? You smell *marvelous*! I'm on my way to San Jose, and I'd just *love* it if you'd..."
                    • tell me what kind of shampoo you've been using. i can't grow my hair out like as long as yours without getting...
                    • ...really, *really* aroused. All that rich, creamy lather -- all that hot, steamy water caressing my naked body...." I trailed off, pulling away from him reluctantly.

                      He leaned down towards me with a gleam in his eye and said in a voice masculine beyond my imagination, with just a hint of some exotic foreign origin, "I'm not quite sure what brand it is. Why don't you come home with me and I can lok in my shower to refresh my memory?"

                      I'm not normally that easy to pick up, but in Red Foot's case, I'd have t
                    • force myself. How else you I get to know the secret of his shampoo? The things we do for...
                    • good hair care, I tell you!!

                      So after a brief stopover at Red Foot's place (the man needed a Roomba like you wouldn't believe!), I consulted with my map and was on my way to my own personal mecca, San Jose.

                      I had made it just past the state line, when I was stopped by one of Alabama's finest. I pulled over, fished the appropriate documents out of the glove box, and watched the patrolman mosey his way up to my window. He was straight out of a bad movie, with gradiated teardrop shades, handlebar moustache,
                    • "Nice car," he said with a slow drawl. "I was just wondering... how much does a Lamborghini Gallardo cost?"

                      "Well, I'm not sure," I replied. "You see..."
                    • This is a Dodge Colt Vista. Vintage. Picked it up for a song from some guy back in Acworth. But enough about cars. You gonna stand there all day, or is someone gonna get frisked?"

                      The officer smirked and shrugged as he motioned for me to get out of the car. As I leaned over the hood, I felt...
                    • the wind swirl around my not-as-nice-as-it-should-be hair as a Lamborghini Gallardo whipped past us as 114 miles per hour. Talk about coincidences! In a church zone, no less. The officer...
                    • ...recounted his thoughts on the Golden Rule, at some length...
  • Ha! This story is even better if you include all the sigs as part of the story.

Slashdot Top Deals

A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.

Close