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The Internet

Journal Journal: Mod Points! 2

I got 5 mod points today, but there was nothing happening, so I sank to a new low and moderated my friends for no other reason than they were my friends, and they haven't hit their karma caps yet. here, here, here, here, here

Journal Journal: More Paranoid than ever. 5

I'm still not convinced that the multiplication of ads loaded due to the recent Slashdot code bugs isn't deliberate. Call me paranoid, but if Slashdot's making money from showing us ads, they're making 10x the money if they force us to cycle the page 10 times. And I often do, trying to preview successfully. I hope they fix that bug, maybe it's only in Mozilla, which is my preferred browser...

I've also noticed that I never get to meta-moderate any Apple-related stories. Why is that? I meta-mod every day, but I never (ever!) get any Apple-related stories (which are what I'm usually interested in). Weird. I wonder if Taco's got me pegged as an extremist... But, enough whining.

Cool desktop pictures here.

a fantastic opportunity.

Now that Google seems to be slowly turning to the Dark Side and is pretty darn mainstream, in order to be geek chic cool we need a hip new search engine. Any suggestions? How about Turbo10? Of course, I just popped over there and did a search for "Angelina Jolie", the first thing that popped in my head, for some reason ;-), and it came up with ONE result. ONE.

It's tough being on the bleeding edge of cool.

EDIT: It *was*, however, one very good Angelina Jolie site.


Journal Journal: I Was Always Paranoid, But This Is Paranoid Pro 6

Posting an inane and mindless poll comment a moment ago, (oh wait, 2 moments ago, bloody Slashdot lameness filters!), and going through my new posting ritual of hitting Preview, then back, then Preview again, etc. until I finally get to see a human-readable preview, a very paranoid thought hit me. Every one of those previews gave me a new ad banner.

Now that Slashdot is part of the "beleaguered" (TM of Apple Computers, Inc, since 1980; used without permission) VA Linux/Software/Anime-lovers Keiretsu, page hits and ad revenue is more important than ever. A few "bugs" here and there may more than triple ad revenue, as I've seen more individual ads in the last month than ever before due to the repetitive clicking I do in order to do a simple post.

Just a thought. Intentional or not, Slashdot is benefitting financially from these coding SNAFUs. What do you think? Since XFiles is over, and they killed the Lone Gunmen, I need to get my conspiracy fix somewhere, and here's as good a place as any.


Journal Journal: I Told Her My Email Address and Here's What Happened 8

> Michelle Dandridge <> wrote:
> Noodles,
> I found your email address. Are you coming for Indian food?
> Mrs. D

Hey Missus Dee,

You must have gotten my email address wrong, because I didn't receive your email. Please try again at the following address:


Please note:

A) the names and emails have been changed to protect the innocent. If you try to email me at, it will bounce back. And my name's not Noodles. I just made that up. I gave her the same email address she was emailing me at, and I was responding from. I am hoping this will cause sufficient confusion to drive her insane.

B) Missus Dee (not her real name but really my mother-in-law) is a new computer user, I recently set her up on the net. I have no idea how she'll respond, but I already feel bad....




Is tormenting a hapless, kind old mother-in-law newbie more like kicking a cute handicapped puppy into heavy traffic, or like kicking... well, someone really bad into light traffic? I guess the truth, as always, lies somewhere in the middle.

The Almighty Buck

Journal Journal: I'm a Fan of Apple, believe it or not 4

I'd just like to mention that I am a big fan of Apple Computers, but I hate the Mac Zealots. They are BY FAR the worst thing about Apple (although chipping paint on a 3-week old TiBook can also make you cry like a schoolgirl and shake your fists angrily at God, screaming, "WHY?"; but that's another story).

Okay okay, I've said this all before, but these irrational morons on Slashdot really bug me. A person will write, "Mac OSX has Zero bugs. Absolutely Zero.", or something equally insane, and I'll respond, "Well, there are a few bugs, but it's still an excellent OS, and it's what I prefer to Windows by far", and then about 50 AC's and rabid zealots will jump on that post and just attack me like crazy. I read their posts *shocked* that people could be so distant from reality. How can a rational human being actually believe that Mac OS X is PERFECT? Can't they think of ANYTHING they'd change? I certainly can, and I write Apple regularly with feature requests. Often get them too (of course, I think my feature requests are popular ones, like recording on the iPod, and a glowy Keyboard on the laptops). Without people putting pressure on Apple to improve, or seeing shortcomings in their products and requesting improvements, there would be no improvements. I see myself as a better customer and helper to Apple Corporate than the zealots, because I encourage people to buy Macs if it's the right solution, and discourage them if it's clearly wrong (as a server for 20 WinXP desktops, for example). The reason I use the server example is because my friend asked me about it, didn't like my "Win2000Server" answer, and then got the same response from Apple themselves.

I guess I don't like people lying or "stretching the truth" in order to make sales. I feel Apple stands on its own quite well, and honesty makes for less bitter customers who feel betrayed.

Strangely, when I criticize Linux for any of the many flaws it has, the Linux Zealots that are so feared really are nowhere to be found. A guy actually said, "Screw you, I'll f**king fix it to show you up". And he DID! There are a few religious Linux zealots, but nowhere NEAR the amount of Mac Zealots who seem really insecure over the slightest affront. The Mac guys just seem to attack anyone who suggests any solution but the Apple one, while the Gnu guys seem to reject anything less than absolute transparency or freedom. I can respect their religion of Free Software, because I understand how fighting for consumer rights and expanded self-reliance is important. I don't need it, but it's definitely nice to know the source code is there if I did. On the other hand, I don't understand how Mac guys promoting a Corporate agenda is a valid "religion". It's just underhanded astroturfing in many cases.

I guess this is my last post for a while about the insultingly spiteful Apple fans here, I'm getting repetitive. And I tend to spite back, and that's no good for anyone. Flamewars suck. Like Al Pacino said in Godfather III, "Every time I think I'm out, they PULL.ME.BACK.IN!!" Every time I post, I get more anti-Apple because of these fanatical dickheads. I thought they were paid Shills for Apple, maybe they're paid by Microsoft! I think they're really doing damage to Apple - they've definitely driven a painful wedge into my heart where Apple is concerned. I just hope they don't eventually kill Apple outright. Because they're my favorite company, even with their flaws.

By the way, I won't be upset if everybody removes themselves from being my friends now, I expect people won't like everything I say that's honest and from the heart.


Journal Journal: Slashcode Redux... Slashdot Fixed? Somewhat? 3

Just a quick note to all my fellow "Suffering Slashdotters" (not to rip off a Sylvester the cat saying), but I've noticed brief glimpses of greatness here on Slashdot, both last night and today (No, it's not the "iTunes on Windows story, part 6"). Instead of getting one of the great selection of error messages I've recently been getting, I occasionally get -- blinding speed. I can't explain it, but a few pages have loaded at least twice as fast as the old, non-broken Slashdot! Wow.

If this keeps up, I'm gonna have to apologize to someone. If you have any ideas who, please tell me. I'm sure I've offended someone.


Journal Journal: Slashcode 5

I don't mean to be a downer here, but Slashdot is really falling apart. What kind of "improvements" are these guys doing here? I'm finding it nearly unusable at least 85% of the time. I wouldn't mind so much except that this site is a cornerstone of the Open Source Community. I'm amazed Microsoft or someone hasn't mentioned, "By the way, I *tried* to get on Slashdot to learn about this pesky Gnu/Linux thing, but well, golly, if the site wasn't so badly coded it darn crashed my whole computer! So I went back to MSN and enjoyed the smooth fast and secure fun that is to be had there - hand coded by the best Microsoft Software Engineers money can buy. We give you our Microsoft Guarantee of quality. Unlike those dirty hacker guys who don't seem to care, but who am I to judge? Live and let live, I always say."
The Almighty Buck

Journal Journal: Rabid Pro-Apple Moderation 8

Reading this story, I noticed the massive flood of pro-Apple sentiment. For an article where the AMD64-bit chips competed against the IBM G5 chips, and supposedly won, I noticed a strange phenomenon. NOBODY WANTS TO BELIEVE IT. Many of the arguments are sour grapes, whining, not logical, or just stupid, but they get modded up anyway, because we WANT them to be right. Why is that? Part of my job is to see things for what they really are; if my vision is clouded by zealotry I lose money. It's obvious that much of Slashdot aren't looking for the truth, they're only out to defend their team without regard for the facts.

Out of 875 posts, only 39 Posts were moderated to 3 or higher:

19 were very pro-Apple or anti-AMD
02 were neutral in tone but were ontopic
06 defended the AMD and the test results
12 were offtopic or funny

Out of 875 posts, there were only 6 defending the AMD position that were worth a 3 or higher. Doubtful.

*Almost everything* that was modded up supported Apple.

I like Apple as much as is humanly possible, but I haven't lost sight of the fact that

Apple is an EVIL MULTINATIONAL who have screwed LOTS of people over (users, developers, third-party vendors, supplier channel, etc.) I've got the links saved, and there are HUNDREDS of outrages they've committed which we've all forgotten. MS commits just as many, but we hold a grudge against them for eternity (that includes me, btw).

Despite their coolness, I don't think the G5's ARE as fast as the AMDs. From what I've seen, the Apples are still short of what they could be. I remember Apple putting faster RAM in their PowerBooks with bus speeds that can't support it. Then they speed up the bus but ditch cache. Then they fix the cache somewhat but ship with 4200RPM harddrives. Apple always wants to give you *just* the amount of computer they can get away with selling you, and nothing more. As you're handing over the cash for your TiBook, they're already planning for your upgrade to an AluBook. That's good business, but it doesn't make for any speed records.

Apple ARE great innovators. They succeed by forcing new standards on their users, and once they've created demand, the more staid PC world hops on board without taking any risk.

Apple ARE more concerned with image than reality. One of the poor pathetic ACs posted something to this effect, and was moderated down immediately. But he's right. They have an air of professionalism and quality in their literature and materials that is greater even than the quality of their hard-and-software. And they make great quality stuff. I just don't think they are the greatest in EVERY category, which so many are prone to think nowadays.

I still remember when "megahertz didn't matter". Now that it's a selling point for Apple, it sure as hell matters to the Slashbots, who will defend the speed on a G5 that 90% of them have never seen in "real life" to the point of rage.

I still prefer the Mac package to the Wintel offerings, because of the integration. But if you've used an Apple, you know they're not perfect. And even with these 2 Ghz chips from IBM, they're not THAT much ahead of the AMDs of the world, if they're ahead at all.

I just hate zealots. I'm a reformed one myself. I guess I got tired of comparing penis size on Slashdot with the other teenagers and slackers.


Journal Journal: Bretton Woods 2

From John Ralston Saul's "The Doubter's Companion: A Dictionary of Aggressive Common Sense"

Bretton Woods A system for international financial management and stability which was put in place by the Allies, minus the Soviets, in 1944 and destroyed in 1973 by President Richard Nixon without consideration being given to a replacement.
Nixon hoped in this way to solve some short-term American economic problems by re-creating the sort of financial disorder in which the largest power would be best placed to benefit. It could be said that this was the single most evil act undertaken by an elected leader in the postwar period. Other leaders should not be discouraged, however. The opportunity to do worse is perpetual.

This book ROCKS. Just his history of air conditioning alone makes it worth the cost (first sentence? Air-Conditioning An efficient and widely used method for spreading disease.)

Awesome. Who's he married to, Adrienne Clarkson? I forget. He's got some great insights, not all as cynical as the ones I've posted here.


Journal Journal: More Slashdot Problems

Well, it's official. Slashdot is running on Beta software. I'm currently enjoying Day 2 of CmdrTaco's self-imposed Slashdot DDoS party.

Less spotty than yesterday, but still not 100%. I guess this is how they test things. It was worse before, an hour ago, but as you can tell, I'm on here now...

Jeez, I sound like a newscaster, all serious about the Slashdot Rolling Trollouts...

This just in: people are reporting problems accessing their Slashdot accounts, there is no indication that this situation will be resolved in the near future, though we have it on good authority that the problem IS known to the authorities and they are working on it as we speak. Again, Slashdot is down. I repeat, Slashdot is down. Bill Gates of Microsoft issued a statement just ten minutes ago that open source code sucks, and that he and his army of anti-Gnu hackers had nothing to do with it. SCO's Darl McBride issued a similar statement, saying, "We own that crappy code, but we don't use it. Pay us and we'll send you a bug patch we'll steal from a textbook or something." Theo DeRaadt from the OpenBSD project could not be reached, as his phone is encrypted with 8192-bit encryption. Actually, we aren't even sure if he has a phone. It's concealed somehow.

I didn't think it would be this frustrating to be "cut off" from Slashdot. Weird, maybe I am a junkie. Going back to read masq's journal now to try to get some balance.

And HEY! The topic icon matches! What a weird coincidence.


Journal Journal: Slashdot Problems 4

Anyone else having problems accessing Slashdot today? I hope we're not getting... FarkDotted?

"The Great Slashdot Blackout of 2003" would be too terrifying for words.


Journal Journal: Ahnold 1

So I hear Ahnold won. Good for him. It can't be easy to have no experience whatsoever and win based on a mulit-million dollar advertising campaign that emphasized style over substance, lots of flags, and a few choice Leno and Regis worshipful propaganda interviews.

It'll be interesting to see him give up his already insanely busy schedule as an actor and Real Estate Magnate to run a State. WHAT?? He's not giving up ANYTHING?? At least his buddies in Enron won't be calling him anymore.

And he *did* promise to put at least 35 hours into running California in the next year. Awesome.

The world's fifth largest economy is about to become the world's tenth largest economy. Yay! Glad I don't live there, Ahnold's likely going to conscript Susan Sarandon and send her to the front lines in Ahnold's plot to thicken the "war against terror". Death to the infidels! Let the California Arms Race commence!

Ahnold, your buddy Rumsfeld is on the phone, he said it's regarding "screwing the poor".

Ahnold's a POLITICIAN now. Let him prove me wrong. The burden of proof is upon him.


Journal Journal: My Good Magazine Idea

The best selling tech magazine in the world is my imaginary "Windows Patch Monthly". It's a magazine dedicated to the fine art of patching Windows and bringing your $3000 computer up to minimal performance and stability. Of course, it comes with a CD loaded with nothing but patches. Scratch that, it'd take a DVD to hold all the patches. Perfect for when you can't even get on the net to download the blaster worm patch because you're already infected.

I've also got a magazine called "Corruption", which is a political tabloid, fine reading for everyone who wants to see where their money's going.


Journal Journal: Topic Icons

If you read my last journal, of oh, 2 minutes ago (Damn Slashdot troll filters!), you'll notice that my icon doesn't make sense. That's okay. As the great P.W. Herman always says, "I meant to do that". I've got an arsenal of icons to use, I'm gonna use them. Makes my journal look pro-fessio-nal, don't you think?

Star Wars Prequels

Journal Journal: No Comments. 9

I think it's awesome that nobody reads my journal, and even less people find it interesting or comment. This is really going to free me up to do some good stuff here, since my very low Nielson ratings afford me an artificial "complete anonymity". I could post the cure for cancer, and nobody would find it for 50 years. I don't actually have to work at this, since nobody cares anyway. Cool!

So here goes:

English is a high-level language, and they suck. They're for girly-men. REAL MEN use low-level languages like grunting.

I have only one thing to say to all you English-using wussies:


So there.

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"Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser." -- Vince Lombardi, football coach