Migor did take a vacation to Tarvon 39. He landed on the surface and his mighty lungs sucked the clean air, and Migor said it was good. And on that planet grew the flower of Tarvon, which grew and dried out only on this one day.

So Migor did take the flower and returned to his mighty spaceship. He took off his shoes and a fragent odor did fill the air. He found his pipe, and lighting it he filled it with the flower of Tarvon.

Soon his vision did become blurred. Then his face did become contorted. And finally he became as a fool and danced and wriggled on the floor of his mighty spaceship. He became as a child and slept.

While he slept, powerful rays of pure insanity were dissipated far into the far off reaches of the universe which came from his distorted mind. There were 12 million and 62 of the rays. Many traveled far into infinity. Others went even further.

And one of those rays landed in the city of San Francisco. The ray had gone so quickly that it went backwards in time to yesterday*. It was powerful, and it burrowed its way into the mind of a circuit court judge, and behaved foolishly.

When Migor awoke, he was ANGRY. He rubbed his eyes and he did speak.

And who is it this man who declares himself to be one to judge? Only Migor can Judge others. .

And his anger was felt around the universe, as every being that had the presumption to call him self 'judge' was turned completely insane. And Migor did laugh a mighty laugh.

will make children pee into cups. I will make the potentates crazy by putting money into the churches. I will cause violence and sadness across the land

And so it was

*note: Yesterday is beyond those who are not Migor.

Migor is unpleased. His favorite possession was damaged in a parking garage in San Jose. The last time he visited Earth was 1986. He took his wallet out and bought a new Saab, and he was pleased.

It was a gift he bought for himself. One he did not tell his wife, Gigor about. It would only upset her. It was a celebration, as Migor had just foiled the work of a man named Seth. Seth had invented teleportation, at least for an Earthling. Migor really invented teleportation in 39243B.C., but he did not want the Earthlings to have the technology.

So Migor infused an insect into Seth's DNA and it ended up killing him. Migor was pleased, so he took a first class jet to San Jose and he did buy a Saab motorcar. He did enjoy the car. Then he parked it at the San Jose airport garage. He had some coffee, then he returned to his mighty spaceship.

Then today, a man who was called Jeff did take a key, and he did scratch the side of the Saab. This did not please Migor. Migor became angry. Migor did not get drunk, but instead psycho-migrated into the body of he who was named Phil F.

Migor found himself in the town that is called Bakersfield. He rented a car and it was driven north to San Jose. He found the man who was called Jeff, and he did punish him. He extracted the soul from the man who was named Jeff and returned to outer-space with it.

Once safe in his mighty spaceship, Migor did cook the soul on his George Forman grill, and served it to himself and his wife, Gigor. And it was delicious.

For Migor so disliked the world, he gave it his only begotten monster; REPTAR.

Migor used to have a cat, and REPTAR ate it. That is how dangerous Migor is. REPTAR was created in the zeta laboratories deep in the darkest corners of Migor's mighty spaceship.

REPTAR breaths fire. REPTAR eats children. REPTAR causes death and distraction wherever he goes.

Migor was pleased with REPTAR. But when Migor found there were no longer any creatures on the mighty spaceship for REPTAR to devour, Migor wept.

Monsters are not unlike puppies. They need wide open fields and an endless supply of little girls to devour. With a heavy heart, Migor loaded REPTAR onto Space Alpha Cosmic Pod 8, and set the auto-pilot for Earth.

When Migor was closing the pod hatch, a tear drooped from his mighty eye, and he spoke:

GO forth and devour the innocent, for they show no glory to Migor.

And now at a hundred zillion AU/hr, the space pod is flying towards Earth, and the citizens of this planet shall know peace no more.

And then Migor was banned from posting on Slashdot. Migor was not pleased. He walked to the battle bridge of his mighty attack spaceship. And under the seat he did find a bottle of tequila.

At that time he did drink of the bottle. He began to be drunk and forgetful. Migors wife, Gigor found him asleep on the battle bridge. She did chastise him for being a drunkard and a fool.

Gigor then saw the targeting computer was locked in on Slashdot. She was tempted by the flashing lights, but she knew she, being a woman had been forbidden to touch anything electrical on the mighty spaceship. Frustrated, she did smash the now empty bottle on Migor's head.

And the blood did fall from his head.

Migor is PLEASED that the creation of the Internet, son of the electronic-typewriter device, daughter of Zigor has been created.

Migor will fly in his mighty spaceship to earth one day to vaporize all of the men on your planet and take the mighty women back to his home planet, whose name you cannot know.

You are all the property of Migor. He will eat your souls if he so desires or cook them in the mighty george forman grill he has installed in his spaceship. Or he will ask one of his servents to cook you because Migor will devour you becuase Migor OWNS you.

As property you cannot talk you are fooling yourself into a false sense of complacency. The communitcation you use on the internet is nothing more then Migor's Son, Zigor, suffering from multiple personality disorders and your voices are the ones that sit inside his head.

This matters not to Migor. He has disowned Zigor, the 10th born of a thousand childern of Migor and his wife Zigor. Gigor still pays for Zigor's rent and she lets him use her Shell gasolene credit card because Zigor has yet to get a job after finishing college.

I was a roomate of Zigor. This is how I met Migor. I have a job with him now, as his voice box instead of the voice box of Zigor because I told him to stop putting words in my mouth.

Now I live in a bunker in the Arizona desert. I am covered in honey and the stings of a thousand honey-bees surround me. But I am saved thanks to the compassion of Migor.

If you are lucky, Migor will turn you into a duck.