Pulse 15 is now done. Thanks to charcoal and B12, it went well. Feeling a bit spacey, but mostly ok. I hope all y'all are safe and happy.

http://glutenfreegirl.blogspot.com/ :)

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/12/20/uk.komodo.reut/index.html?section=cnn_latest

SMILE

Hi Journal, 's me again. I'm fast heading towards the 12th anniversary of day when I refused ever again to be what I knew I wasn't - a boy named John. Halloween of 1994, it was either be myself - Jeannette - or be dead. Tho it's been one hella hard road to here-and-now, on the whole I still think that I made the right choice.

I need to get access to my facetor soon, to start a handful of jewelry projects. Among them are a jade rainbow wheel, and a gem silica chrysocolla, pink opal and ?sugilite? ?lavender chalcedony? triangle. Add the Sun, Moon and Stars pendant, a mokume gane garnet pendant, a garnet ring for myself, a "Mother's ring" with alexandrite, garnet and opal for my Mom, and a pink tourmaline set for my sister, and I'll be pretty busy, if my body will behave.

Each year they parade her about ... the traditional Halloween witch.

Misshapen green face, stringy scraps of hair, and a toothless mouth beneath her disfigured nose. Gnarled, knobby fingers twisted into a claw, protracting from a bent and twisted torso that lurches about on wobbly legs.

Most think this abject image to be the creation of a prejudiced mind, or merely a Halloween caricature.

I disagree. I believe this to be how witches were really seen.

Consider that most witches: were women, were abducted in the night, and smuggled into dungeons or prisons under the secrecy of darkness, to be presented by the light of day as a confessed witch.

Few, if any, saw a frightened, normal looking woman being dragged into a secret room filled with instruments of torture. To be questioned until she confessed to anything that was suggested to her, and to give names or whatever would stop the questions. Crowds saw the aberration denounced to the world as a self-proclaimed witch.

As the witch was paraded through the town, en route to be burned, hanged, drowned, stoned, or disposed of in various other forms of Christian love ... all created to free and save her soul from her depraved body. The jeering crowds viewed the results of hours of torture. The face, bruised and broken by countless blows, bore a hue of sickly green. The once warm and loving smile gone.

Replaced by a grimace of broken teeth and torn gums that leers beneath a battered, disfigured nose. The disheveled hair conceals bleeding gaps of torn scalp from whence cruel hands had torn away the lovely tresses. Broken, twisted
hands clutched the wagon for support. Fractured fingers locked like groping claws to steady her broken body. All semblance of humanity gone. This was truly a demon, a bride of Satan, a witch.

I revere this Halloween crone and hold her sacred above all. I honor her courage and listen to her warnings of the dark side of humanity.

Each year I shed tears of respect.

Link, quoted below.

"A 40-year-old Korean man presented with painful swelling and tenderness of both ankle joints as well as the plantar surfaces of both feet, along with inflammatory back pain, and a purulent discharge from the urethral orifice. The patient also complained of sicca-like symptoms including dry eyes and dry mouth. An immunological analysis revealed a high titer of rheumatoid factor, positive results for antinuclear antibody and anti-Ro antibody, and a positive result for HLA-B27. An antibody titer for Chlamydia was also significantly increased. Positive results of the Schirmer's test and for keratoconjunctivitis sicca were confirmed by an ophthalmologist. These clinical manifestations were compatible with Chlamydia-induced reactive arthritis (ReA) accompanied by Sjogren's syndrome (SS)."

Hi Journal, 's me again ... or is it? All y'all know that I'm combatting multiple sclerosis with a combination of antibiotics. Each "pulse" kills off more of the bacteria. These critters are keeping the infected cells alive far past their normal lifespan, so once the bugs die off, the infected cells soon follow.

While the infection has spread throughout my body, in my brain it has led to lesions - scar tissue - that's what MS is. Each pulse kills off more of these critters, and more host cells too.

My brain is dying off. Oh, it's being rebuilt as fast as the supply of stem cells will allow, but my concern is, as this process continues, am I still me? How could I tell?

Scary, isn't it?

Welcome to my world.

Hi Journal, 's me again. I am *still* dealing with the loss, from delayed apoptosis, of brain cells after the last pulse cleared out a lot of infection. This is hard work - sorry if I've not been real "here" lately.

Hi Journal, 's me again. I won a chunk of star, to use with the sun and moon in my upcoming pendant. Whee, what fun!

Use of my left hand is generally up, leading me to hope that I might return to jewelry-making in the next 6 months.

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/recipe_views/views/235831?mbid=yhoo

Does this sound edible?

Hi Journal, 's me again. Today, I received the blue-to-pink colorchange garnet, to go with the Cybele/Attis denarius in my Gallae key pendant. I think I'll bezel-set the stone, and front/back prong set the coin in a hole drilled in the key. I want the key to look more archaic than ancient, because Roman keys look more like an "L" than a key.

I'm also planning my "Sun, Moon and Stars" work. That one should be fun :) I like "Devil-orange" heavy-schiller sunstone, blue-schiller rainbow moonstone, and I'll be cutting en cabochon then etching a slice of nickel-iron meteorite. This will be a pretty piece.

Both these pieces are full of serious Power-laden materials and symbolism, for Pagans like me, yet are not going to look Pagan, ideal for living in a less-tolerant environment. ::GRIN:: I like hiding in plain sight. ::later::
Just bought 4 pieces of the sunstone rough, and 5 of the rainbow moonstone rough. The meteorites I'll get next week, along with another faceted cc garnet.

After this, I buy metal ;)

Hi Journal, 's me again. Just a fast note. My left hand, and my brain, were hit hardest this time, but both are coming back now. I wish it went faster, because patience has never been "me."

Hi Journal, 's me again. I seem to have survived the round of metronidazole. Only a gazillion more to go till I'm free from MS. I'm weary, but I will only lose if I quit.

I am now officially a woman 8^/ I've been losing weight by eating less. I need to shed inches from my thighs and waist, but it seems to have been coming mainly from my breasts, which were fairly small to start with. Oh well, c'est la vie.

My Jewelry Muse is after me again. I found all 3 stones for a perfect jewelry gift for anyone's lover - exactly what they all secretly want, the Sun, the Moon and the Stars. ::smirk:: Well, close at least - try top-notch sunstone, moonstone and etched nickel-iron meteorite slices. I see a triplet, to cut down on scratches and rusting, all 3 stones in 120-degree wedges. Sound cool to you?

Hi Journal, 's me again. Started my 11th 5-day-long "pulse" of the antibiotic "metronidazole" (generic Flagyl) today. Of the three antibiotics I take, this is the only one that actually kills off the bacteria Chlamidia Pneumonia that seems to have been the main cause of my case of secondary progressive multiple sclerosis. The other two, bacteriostatics, prevent CPn from producing more spores, and lock CPn into its dormant, "cryptic" phase, until the third kills it off. One supplement, NAC, kills off the circulating spores, to prevent immediate re-infection, while the other supplements ameliorate the toxic waste from dead CPn and provide materials to rebuild healthy new cells.

Each pulse kills off some, but not all, of the bacteria. As I've been infected for over 15 years, there's a lot of it to be killed. However, killing the bug also kills the infected cell. As CPn has spread throughout my body, killing it all at once would also kill me. Hence, I kill some, recuperate, and repeat, for years, gradually getting better as I go.

An example of my improvement is here, in my typing. A year ago, I could not type at all. Now, I can type, if slowly, and even that is speeding up. I can now handle eating with a spoon, and sometimes a fork, too, tho that's harder. As my MS lesions were concentrated in my brain, each pulse tends to make me temporarily both dumber, and slightly insane. Getting past that will take a long time :(

On other, trivial notes, today Fraidycat lived up to his name. Vikki put our flag up, and the flag waving in the breeze terrified Fray. Cats ;^)

Hi Journal, 's me again. I start my next pulse tomorow. This last pulse temporarily took my mind away while I bought lots of great rocks - at least I'll have plenty to do this monsoon season ;) My legs are a bit wobbly, but my typing is doing much better, tho I still have muscle fatigue while typing. Over the next few months, I'll be back on track with regular pulses, so my improvement should continue (subject to ups and downs, but trending upwards). Yay! I'll beat SPMS, despite what the neurologists say.