the paranoia is unwarranted, but it still exists.
It may well be there, but there's also a marginalization of Qt/KDE by some of the largest distros (perhaps with that canard). If you look at the companies backing them, you'll see many @bigco addresses on the GNOME-related software teams and many, many fewer working on KDE. So I think some of it is simply NIH, but perhaps with a business strategy aspect of, "Who is Digia and why should BigCo be dependent on them when we have an alternative we control, even if it's not as good?" That question may have even had more merit under Nokia, especially when it was taken over by Microsoft (oh, did I say that out loud?).
Even if it's a false dilemma, it probably keeps many people working on the projects they like inside their comfort zone. Big choices can be made on merit, but there are sometimes humans involved who apply criteria without pure impartiality. Sometimes these bigco's pick a technology horse, and boy do they stick with it until it needs to be brought out back and shot. Qt/KDE is definitely not alone in that regard!