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Comment Really Enjoyable. (Score 1) 3

A few style observations. You blow through a lot of action and occurrence really quickly. Faster than Elmore Leonard! The pace may be a barrier from getting to know the characters.

Also, had to read this sentence twice "The cot lifted the woman, who I recognized as the Billie whore, on itself." Then I got it. :-)

If you move this quickly, the prose can't demand anything but instant parsing, or it takes the reader from the context of the story to the context of the page. And y'all know about context-switching and latency... :-)

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