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Quickies

She Blinded Me With Quickies 91

18buddhas brought us stories and pictures of id Software's New Office. TheLocustNMI busted some MC Paul Barman and Commodore 64 on us. Geek rap, eh? Apparently C-64 is the sixth-most downloaded Jewish hip-hop group on the planet. An anonymous coward told us about grown men with joysticks on their heads. a2fan shared the super-secret Microsoft Breakup Plan. Ant told us to check out some commercials, and then akaChe got our hopes up with the iTari. Combat, anyone? Fish shared the proposal to encode Basic Egyptian Hieroglyphs in Plane 1 of ISO/IEC 10646-2. Speaking of history, another anonymous coward sent in the link to a really great PBS parody, The 1999 House. tobyjaffey (aka trj) wrote in about the Geekshirts project at SourceForge. Josh Woodward told us about the scary fact that Sometimes Barney Starts Playing Peekaboo on His Own.
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She Blinded Me With Quickies

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  • I know... my boob. I will fix that. During testing, nothing ever got more than about 5 votes :)
  • from the article :

    This is a design feature of a detection circuit and system BIOSes developed by Award/Unicore from 1997 on.

    Ok, having said award bios am I then to expect this sound in all operating systems? As the article ascribes this feature to all OS's in the M$ lineup cept MS Bob.
  • ...it certainly looks like teal is new beige.
  • ...would I ask myself that as an AC? <g>
  • When PowerMacs fail their memory test, they play a sound of a car crashing and glass breaking.
  • Well i guess all our complaining about the quicktime remark paid off. I guess we can say that the bias is gone. Yay. I for one like QuikckTime, but what really pleases me is the fact that quality -- regardless of platform/format -- is being brought to our attention!

  • Heiroglyphs are boring. The real news is that, according to the Unicode Proposed Characters Page [unicode.org], the Klingon [dkuug.dk] alphabet, and the Tengwar [dkuug.dk] and Cirth [dkuug.dk] runes (from Tolkein) are under investigation for being included in Unicode.


    ---
    Zardoz has spoken!
  • And how! But look at the submission date. This has been in the queue for almost 3 years. Anybody know who to lobby on these issues?

    I'm puzzled by your font comment, though. The font in the proposal is commercially available, and has been for some time. It looks a lot like what's in my Middle Egyptian [cup.org] textbook, but no credit is given.

    There are some problems with the proposal. They've essentially presented the encoding used in their font set unchanged; it could probably use an update with current scholarship and input from other parties. The character names are silly, too. I guess it's difficult to find a name for every character since we're not sure what some of the symbols are, but most have conventional names.

    Of course it would be really nice if they'd make their font available for free, but that's never stopped the unicode folks before.

  • hieroglyph mail
  • I imagine this will be a great topic for psychotherapists in 20 years:

    Doctor: And you are afraid of purple?
    Patient: Yes, for years, every time I see a person in purple, the voices say 'Peek-a-boo'. I think it means I must kill.
  • http://www.egypt.net
  • I have a problem with this. If C-64 is the sixth-most downloaded Jewish hip-hop group on the planet, this implies there are at least five more Jewish hip-hop groups on the planet, and it's just awful. So is Israeli disco music.

    On the plus side, now that they've been Slashdotted, they may become, say, the second-most downloaded Jewish hip-hop group on the planet, which implies only at least one more group, and two of these sure beats the hell out of six.

    Certain things, like processed snack foods and hip-hop, are best left to the goyim.

    --

  • Is it just me, or it that Kevin Nieland (sp?) of future SNL fame in the Atari commercial (third row, second column)
  • I think it is a nice idea to extend unicode to all known scripts. Just read the stuff about the Linear B deciphering in Simon Singh's code book. Some of the charakters reminded me of Japanese Kanji. Also the way a konsonant and a vowel are encrypted by a character.
  • really bad misspellings, as is needed for anyone braindamaged enough to buy a Microsoft stuffed toy of Satan's assistant Barney? ;) (We all know who Satan is, right?)
  • Is their Barney FAQ: http://support.microsoft.com/support/actimates/bar ney/faq/default.asp

    Looking through all that almost (_almost_) makes me want to get ahold of one of those things and figure out what the protocol is for the PC transmitter.
  • I'm puzzled by your font comment, though. The font in the proposal is commercially available, and has been for some time. It looks a lot like what's in my Middle Egyptian textbook, but no credit is given.

    *blush* That's embarrassing. I rushed straight down to the glyphs and missed the fact that it's based on an existing font. :)

    The characters are stylisticly quite similar to Budge's standard characters, but I have no idea where he got those. Ain't no way he drew everything in there himself, the lazy freak. ;)

    BTW, (I don't often encounter people that might be interested in knowing this) it's getting easier to find his dictionary. Both volumes! For years, I only had one. You can see them at Amazon [amazon.com], and buy it wherever politics permit.

    -Waldo
  • That cheesy rap?

    That crappy music?

    "Under Fifty Bucks /
    That's a special low price"?

    God no, tell me that wasn't what you meant; I've been trying to *forget* that for YEARS!

    Heh, you too? I was, what, maybe 11 years old when that commercial came out and I *still* have it memorized--SCARY! I'll be lying on my deathbed with those lyrics running through my head. >_<

  • The original "Proposal to encode Tengwar in Plane 1 of ISO/IEC 10646-2" is here:

    http://anubis.dkuug.dk/JTC1/SC2/WG2/docs/n1641/n 1641.htm
  • The Three's COmpany cartridge for the ITari is hilarious. Kinda hard to see.
  • Hey, guess what? We don't give a damn about you. you can go fuck yourself with your real-playing ass.
    Think that was flamebait? You've obviously never met me in person...
  • Because iTari has the simplest interface around-- one joystick (or paddle), two buttons.


    Man, my 2600 didn't have two buttons.

    Are they going to be releasing new "software applications" for the iTari? It could be great for marketing..check out the cool NEW games that come in the transparent orange and blueberry cases!
  • The ability to append a limited amount of time-marked text to the end of your own posts - not to modify or remove stuff, just to be able to append corrections and related additions, so you don't look stupid replying to yourself.
  • I would like the Hierolglyphs to be included in Babbel Fish also. I would love to sent my boss a memo that had been translated into Hieroglyphs. It would make more sense that some of the policies that have recently been put in place.
  • "Sometimes Barney Starts Playing Peekaboo on His Own"

    Oh, no! He's posessed by the evil paperclip!!!
  • Heck, if anyone needs an independant consultant on Mayan mathematics in light of this breakup procedure, let me know! I knew that math history course would come in handy some day
  • From the Microsoft breakup plan:
    According to leaked versions of the plan, Microsoft will divide its buildings and other properties in two down the middle with the masking tape, thus marking the territories of the new companies. Employees of either company would be forbidden to cross the line for any reason.

    I assume that on each floor there is a board room in the exact center so both companies can hold "parallel meetings."
    Two as-yet-undetermined Microsoft executives will be chosen as leaders. These leaders will then go through a process known as "choosing up sides" where they will alternate choosing from a full assembly of Microsoft employees to form the two new companies. To decide who will choose first, they will "shoot" odds and evens, with the best two out of three winning the opportunity to select first.

    You mean Microsoft is still in the embrace stage with odds and evens. I would think that they would shoot irrational and imaginary numbers
    Half of Microsoft stockholders will be contacted and instructed to cross out "Microsoft" and write in the name of the new company on their stock certificates

    They forgot to mention that Bill is giving Melinda 50% of his stock.
    Bill Gates will remain as chairman of the OS division, and according to the plan a mysterious and previously unknown twin sister, Willemina Gates, has been appointed chairperson of the second company.

    We all know the Its the queen, and not Loqutous(assimilated Picard know I spelled it wrong) that runs the collective.
    It is suspected the OS company will retain Fear, while the everything-else company will obtain Uncertainty and Doubt.

    I wonder how embrace, extend, and expunge are gonna me divided.
    You got to check out the full story very funny.

  • I wonder how the stickheads would feel about Stickdeath.com [stickdeath.com]
    (its pretty funny anyways.)

    ----------------------------------------------
  • I guess they are like NaN in Java -- no two NaN's are the same (i.e. == will never return true and you have to use equals() to compare them).
  • I suppose that if you do a search on the MS knowlege base, those words will turn up that page.

    Obviously, Microsoft knows that Barney owners can't spell.

    I suppose that makes sense, sort of... imagine a child trying to figure out why his/her Barney is playing peekaboo by itself. But... how the heck does the aforementioned child find his/her way to the knowlege base in the first place???

    One of the many mysteries of the MS KB. Hmmmm.


    Torrey Hoffman (Azog)
  • Right on bro'

    Emmett should be put to buy everyone in the Linux-using /. community a mac for sorenson viewing purposes every time he posts a link to sorenson-encoded stuff. Hell, DivX;-) [www.divx.st] is better than sorenson and can be played on almost all platforms.

    +++ATH0

  • I guess I overlooked the Phil Hartman commercial in the first spot...
  • Can you imagine my disapointment? When I first read "Id's new Office" I thought "YES! This software will literally kick M$ all over the place." But then it turned out to be an actual building and not an software productivity suite. And I thought I would be able to train a BFG 9000 at everyone's favorite paperclip.
  • Cut his balls off...if you can't find them settle for his eyes, then feed them to him with rice and ketchup.
    Thereafter proceed to have him raped by winnie the pooh,
    And finally drown him in a urinal !
    Shooting is way too slow.

  • I wonder which of the two companies will be stuck with the actimates barney...
    I'll bet the loser in that dodge-ball match, then again these are microsoft programmers.

    Barney purple bastard, batteries not included.

  • Oh please. Heiroglyphics are not boring! It's quite clever, significantly different from any other wide-spread writing system, and IMHO significantly more legible than roman text. That's not to say that Klingon, Cirth and Tengwar shouldn't also have been in there years ago. (the proposals were submitted at the same time) Oddly enough, I remember ~8 years ago someone asking for help on tolk-lang in putting together a pre-1.0 tengwar proposal, and it dying from lack of interest. :(

    Don't tear down someone else's idea to elevate your own.

  • "I guess that if they want to innovate so much maybe they should write their own music to warn people of impending doom. Heck they should play music any time a crash may be approaching..." (mitchkeller)

    might i suggest the theme from jaws?
    doom doom
    doom doom
    doom doom doom doom dumb dumb doom doom (horns blaring)
    <BSOD>
  • This bug is almost as funny as the Earth Rotation bug where the earth is rotating in the wrong direction.
  • Nice quicktime movies probably, but I can't view them in Linux. So I have send a nice comment to Apple on their website asking them to make quicktime players available for Linux. Maybe you should do that too if your favorite OS isn't listed in {MacOS, Windows}.
  • Some of the charakters reminded me of Japanese Kanji. Also the way a konsonant and a vowel are encrypted by a character.

    That would be kana, actually. Kanji are the ideograms borrowed from China.


    ---
    Zardoz has spoken!
  • "Don't you have better things
    to do with your time than scrutinize the postings of other people. "

    Gee I was just going to say the same thing...
  • ...how the heck does the aforementioned child find his/her way to the knowlege base in the first place???

    Waaaaaaaaaaaay too much ritalin.

  • How about "The Limits of the Unlimited Information Store"....
    http://www.microsoft.c om/TechNet/exchange/technote/store55.asp [microsoft.com]
  • There's a great album called The Big Kibosh [klezmershack.com] by the New Orleans Klezmer All-Stars that has a couple tunes with an interesting hip-hop approach to klezmer (which they call klip-klop). Obligatory apropos joke: What goes klop klop klop klop bang klop klop klop? An Amish drive-by shooting.
  • How do you think Josh found that one? Be afraid. -Chris
  • by poochie ( 152144 ) on Thursday July 06, 2000 @02:32PM (#952870)
    Its official, BARNEY MUST DIE!
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Oh, those were the days... Now I'm just going blind from other things.
  • i shed a proud tear to the sixth most downloaded hip-hop group on the planet.

    how does one figure this out? i imagine the beastie boys would be number one, followed by... uh... somebody else

    i however, am going to become the first most downloaded "scotch-irish (with some assorted other cultures, indian included, with a strong hint of english) neoclassical techno hip hop (with just a hint of jazz and not too much scary death metal), all the while interpreting the intellectual music of the Bangles" group in the world. you just watch.
  • You can watch the TV ads here.

    This is the relevant one. [panthermodern.net]
  • You have to wonder what Freud would say about those "stickheads".
  • Whoa... I thought you were referring to the Barney mod for Doom. But, yet another Microsoft hilarity. Do you think the writer's at Microsoft get a kick out of putting up stuff like that. It's almost like the newspapers when they write their headlines.

    NUG30 lost to distributed processing! [cadfu.com]
  • Oooh, geek shirts is a pretty cool little project. Is thinkgeek preparing any kind of strategy to deal with it? Embrace and extend, or wash and wear or rinse and repeat or umm umm umm...

    Anyway, nice :)

  • "I will give you $20 for one!"
    -Pip

    You know, I wouldn't be surprised. This has happened before.

    Anyone else remember the "The Fun Is Back" campaign? [classicgaming.com]

    Remember, folks, It doesn't get older - it gets better! [aphrodigitaliac.com]
  • To prevent the further decline of slashdot in to it's official stage of "sold out", I've decided to put a stop to people other than CmdrTaco adding quickies to the front page. In the words of my mother, "It's just not right". The patches are available for download at slashcode [slashcode.com].
  • The link is wrong, his site is actually http://www.mcpaulbarman.com/ [mcpaulbarman.com]
  • I got an email from willie@thinkgeek expressing an interest. They offered to print some shirts, so if you have a design... send it in. Or vote for the ones you like, they will hopefully be picked up by some printing companies and sold soonish.
  • by Jim Tyre ( 100017 ) on Thursday July 06, 2000 @02:44PM (#952881) Homepage
    Speaking of history, another anonymous coward sent in the link to a really great PBS parody

    How do you know that it was *another* anonymous coward?

  • by technos ( 73414 ) on Thursday July 06, 2000 @04:26PM (#952882) Homepage Journal
    As a rabid Elton John fan and the former owner of three pair of said Radio Shack 'Slimline' walkie talkies, I decided to do a little experiment.

    While no Radio Shack walkie-talkies were available for this scientific endeavor, I was able to locate a Tandy wireless intercom that sounds much the same.

    For testing of the 'scratch' media, I used each of my three vintage turntables (1922 Victorola, a 1960's Sears Portable, and a 1972 Panasonic Quadraphonic), and tried to replicate the sound.

    Testing media consisted of my father's collection of 1960-1980 LPs, including such greats as 'The Bee Gees', 'Emerson, Lake and Palmer', and the 1970's Disco diva Gloria Gaynor. I also selected two of the poorest examples of Elton John I had on hand, a severly scratched copy of 'Madman Across the Water' and a nearly mutilated copy of 'Captain Fantastic and The Brown Dirt Cowboy' which is also short the dustjacket.

    As a result, I'd say it's is nothing like scratching Elton John whilst playing the Beastie Boys over a Radio Shack walkie talkie.

    However, it sounds exactly like a Barbara Streisand 45 scratched on a dull, steel-needled Victorola set to speed 2, coupled with random Steven Tyler screeches. Grab Aerosmith's last album, 'Nine Lives', and listen to 'My Girl' for a good example. The rest is provided by by a copy of 'Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch's premire album played in a skip happy Sony CD changer, broadcast over said wireless intercom with the 'Fine-Tuning' screw set all the way to the right on the base unit and all the way to the left on the remote.

    Independant confirmation of my result is encouraged.

  • by HobNob ( 177770 ) on Thursday July 06, 2000 @04:37PM (#952883) Homepage
    What I really want to know is what the 'additional query words' mean at the end of that MS KB page mean. What the hell is "barney barnie acti ac ta mates mate actimate actamate actamates kbimu actimates"?

    Is that like "Klaatu barada nikto"?
  • It's like playing the Beastie Boys through an old Radio Shack walkie talkie while scratching an old copy of Elton John and stepping on a cat.
    Only like that? What are the major differences?
  • As a result, I'd say it's is nothing like scratching Elton John whilst playing the Beastie Boys over a Radio Shack walkie talkie.
    It's not meant to be like that. You have to step on a cat as well.
  • Don't laugh, the same question has recently been asked in a German Linux newsgroup. As pointed out by the MS knowledge base, this isn't actually a problem of the operating system, but even advanced users are scared by a system suddenly playing music or other "warning" sounds. (I saw an advertisement recently, there's a "talking" mainboard out there, calling for "help" when something is wrong. Now that's what I would call scary.)

    ------------------
  • Can you make a shirt with FIRST POST! in huge bold letters on the back...

    This one [geekculture.com] has it on the front.
  • I'll bet if we all get together we can make these guys' dreams come true. That's right - Slashdot the C-64 IUMA site, making them the all-time number one downloaded Jewish hip-hop group of all time!
  • > I saw an advertisement recently, there's a
    > "talking" mainboard out there, calling for
    > "help" when something is wrong.
    > Now that's what I would call scary.

    Does it notify you of fatal errors by singing "Daisy, Daisy"?
  • What about Enochian [rahoorkhuit.net]? I want to be able to summon cacodaemons with simple HTML damnit.

  • I'm reminded of a story I read a little while back relating to this very thing...

    Supposedly, some server admin type guys encountered this; their server started playing music, and they ass-umed it was a virus. So, they ran all the latest virus scanners on there, did everything they knew to do, finally ended up first reinstalling the OS and then low level formatting the drives, and couldn't get it to go away...when someone wandered in and pointed out it was just the BIOS telling them the CPU was running a little too hot. Oops. :-)

    True or not, it was still funny to read...

    -pf

  • Although there should have been more science quickies. =)
  • For those who like Paul Barman and C64 (I'm really glad to see both of them merit an appearance on /.!), might I also recommend the following:

    • Del The Funky Homosapien - Del has a definite obsession with comics, manga, and video games. The song "Proto-Culture" on his latest album "Both Sides of the Brain" is an homage to console gaming, referencing everything from Colecovision to Dreamcast.
    • Buck 65. This MC from Canada goes off on all sorts of interesting topics. (i.e. "Making Love With Your Disk Drive"). You can get Buck 65's album (and lots of other great underground hip-hop) at sandbox.pair.com.
    • My site [prmsystems.com] contains a couple of original mp3 tracks that could be construed as geek rap, as well as some other goodies for any other hip-hoppers out there. Check it out.
  • And let's not forget the inimitable Atom And His Package [atomandhispackage.com]. Geek punk, accompanied by a Yamaha QY700 sequencer no less! Great stuff.
  • Look at commercial-archive.com, where those came from - they have Real versions.

    Regardless, Slashdot is a community for geeks and nerds, not for linux users - right?
  • This is more than a little scary guys. Haven't you all seen "Childs Play"? Don't you know what these dolls are capable of?

    Buried within the MS archives are other, more... sinister warnings!

    "Sometimes Barney plays with Daddy's gun"
    "Sometimes Barney watches Mommy getting dressed"
    "Sometimes Barney goes on a killing rampage and slaughters all the teenagers having sex in the house, because they are naughty, naughty, naughty!"

    ...consider this a warning.
  • The First Post shirt is already in existence over at geekculture.com. It was born from a Nitrozac cartoon, it showed a little troll doll with the shirt on it. I laughed my guts out when I saw that! Then I ordered one. :) It's a really nice shirt... i got mine about a week ago and it's blowing my friends away. They can see me coming for miles, and it's amazing how many people comment on it. I wore it to a party on the weekend and basically it was the hit of the party.
  • Man, my 2600 didn't have two buttons
    Yeah, they screwed up. If you look at the console, it has three levers on each side--the 2600 only had two. My guess would be that they based the design on the 7800, rather than the 2600 (the 5200 looked entirely different).
  • You can watch the TV ads here. [panthermodern.net]

    (preview first, preview first, preview first; then double-check to make sure you put everything you wanted)

    [/ slaps self with double-barrelled haddock]
  • Every time I start playing peekaboo by myself, my folks give me more ritalin.

  • That cheesy rap?

    That crappy music?

    "Under Fifty Bucks /
    That's a special low price"?

    God no, tell me that wasn't what you meant; I've been trying to *forget* that for YEARS!
    ---
    pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate [ncsu.edu].
  • by DrPsycho ( 13308 ) on Thursday July 06, 2000 @02:50PM (#952902) Homepage
    If I remember correctly, an earlier Slashdot posting [slashdot.org] featured CmdrTaco proudly proclaiming:
    "note to story submittors: if video clips aren't viewable under Linux, I can't view them to consider them for posting, so don't bother submitting those quicktime clips"
    I guess this stance doesn't apply to the posting of the other members of the Slashdot crew. All I see on that classic videogame ad site is QuickTime, QuickTime, QuickTime.

    Bah. I'm not booting into another OS just to watch these. Maybe someone should convert the ads to Real. :^)

  • Nitrozac is selling a "first post" shirt iirc. But, if you design it... we'll put it up (so long as it has no copyright problems).
  • The ActiMates Barney [microsoft.com] is the "I love you, you love me" character that little kids seem to love. Adults, on the other hand, hate the big bugger! Whatever happened to Big Bird?! Anyways, modify your DOOM so can commit violent acts against America's favorite children's icon! ftp://ftp.galilei.com/library/gameserv/bdoom.zip
  • http://geekshirts.sourceforge.net/post.php3?table= ideas
  • After lightly stepping on the cat (Poor Felix!) I still think the cat is irrelevant.

    Well, irrelevant to the total sound of the music, but not personally irrelevant, unless you're wearing combat boots, which I wasn't. I have three bleeding clawmarks down my left leg now, thank you!

  • Different email addresses perhaps?
  • The Atari 2600 console had only 128 bytes of RAM and extremely simplistic graphics hardware [io.com]; it pretty much had to generate each pixel in software as it was being drawn to the screen. There were only six objects (two sprites, three squares, and a horizontal strip of background) that could not be told to "draw at (x, y)" like on the Nintendo but instead to "draw at the current electron beam position."
  • Don't worry - I'm sure the shirts will cover your boob.
  • OK, is anyone else REALLY disturbed by this. I mean, my computer playing "It's a Small, Small World" or "Fuer Elise"? I think that a warning of impending failure could come in a much better way--a siren or perhaps something ominous sounding...Were these song's Microsoft's choice or the BIOS manufacturer's? And who are they to tell me that I should listen to Beethoven or that other, really annoying song. Maybe I'd rather hear Tchaikovsky's "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies." This must be viewed as an overt attempt by Microsoft to control our lives. Someone MUST hack this in able to allow user customization or Microsoft may begin to subliminally influence us all...oops they've already overtaken the weak-minded drones that walk around talking about "freedom to innovate" all the time. I guess that if they want to innovate so much maybe they should write their own music to warn people of impending doom. Heck they should play music any time a crash may be approaching...Oh yeah, they'd have to play it all the time then and that would get very, very annoying.
  • Anyone else notice the "Current Ranking" on the root page [sourceforge.net] of the Geek Shirts site is sorted alphabetically rather than numerically?
  • by Ephro ( 90347 ) <ephlind@yahoo.com> on Thursday July 06, 2000 @02:56PM (#952912)
    Seriously everyone needs to go listen to their songs, especially Foam. To quote:

    'I'm a 6 foot tall mathematical rapper'

    It's like playing the Beastie Boys through an old Radio Shack walkie talkie while scratching an old copy of Elton John and stepping on a cat. Good stuff to be sure.

    EJL
  • by seligman ( 58880 ) on Thursday July 06, 2000 @03:07PM (#952913) Homepage
    Since we're poking fun at MS's knowledgebase, I bet you didn't know you should be afraid when:

    Your computer randomly starts to play classical music [microsoft.com]

    I don't know what's worse, that article, or the fact I find it fifty percent of the time while I'm doing normal searches for other information.

  • Halla-fuckin'-lujia. Really. I'm sick of sketching them, and the existing fonts (there's a couple of sets) suck. Naturally, with a language that's both phonetic and ideogram based, the set is limited. But this set [dkuug.dk] does a really good job of covering the bases. It's enough to get me back into Egyptian again.

    -Waldo
  • re: Remember kids, CmdrTaco won't post links to Quicktime videos but emmett will [myvideogames.com]

    andy j.

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