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Mirsky Makes "Open Business Plans" 36

Mirsky, the guy who brought you "Worst of the Web" until 1996, has returned to the Web. He e-mailed me about this "new open business plans." I do have to say I think that the Valueporn is a great idea - and Mirsky has the ultimate sticky EULA *grin*. That, and multiple online weddings.
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Mirsky Makes "Open Business Plans"

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  • Yeah, we should just move all porn to .sex, it will make filtering easy too, and all that crap.
  • When I was in college I applied for a HTML position at some slapdash firm. I was pissed when I didn't get it. Then a month or two later I see it listed on "Worst of the Web". I laughed.

  • I can see it now... Go to My.Porn.com and enter the serial number off of your latest issue of 'Crack Whores Monthly' and download the images to your hard drive. The porn industry would be in an uproar and lawyers would be 'a flying.

    What about the old addage "You get what you pay for"? I would afraid to see what kind of porn I'd get when only wanting to pledge my Miscrosoft for it. I don't know, but I'd bet it'd involve S&M.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    You've got teenage kids? Last I heard, you were just going IPO with your DNA as your sole intellectual property asset...
  • >Kibo, perhaps?

    Damn... Kibo...

    Some of the extra +'s on my geek code... I wonder if those ever expire...

  • Just watch and see that Microsoft is behind the DDoS attack on Slashdot... :P

    Punishment for crossing them?*


    *See refering story [slashdot.org]

  • I was so proud when he used my suggestion:

    Marc Adreesen's "homepage" at Netscape was a color-tinted picture of himself, I suggested that a multi-millionaire could at least *hire* someone to build a decent page.

    Mirsky had a disturbed, diffident style of humor that always appealed to me. One of the best humorists I've ever seen on the Web.

    Does this mean Mirsky's actually making a living on the web again?

  • Each "open source business plan" is free for the taking as long as your first $5 million in profit is split with Mirsky. By reading this paragraph, you automatically agree to these terms.

    I like this. Simple, to the point. No difficult legalese to scroll through. No tricky clauses hidden three pages in "by clicking OK, you automaticaly grant the company access to your internal organs"

    By reading this posting you automatically agree to visit PopeAlien.Com [popealien.com] and spread peanut butter in your hair.
    -
  • >>Why should we allow .com to be squatted by pornographs perverting kids?

    HAHAHA!!! Who is "we" and why should "we" take the ability of adults to view or distribute porn? Can children see porn? Yes, absolutely. And they do.

    But it is not the responsibility of the government or society to ban or curtail the rights of adults in order to protect children. The SOLE responsibility of children viewing porn lies with the PARENTS and the children themselves. This also applies to guns.
  • by Shoeboy ( 16224 ) on Friday May 12, 2000 @09:29AM (#1076458) Homepage
    Why should we allow .com to be squatted by pornographs perverting kids?
    Why is this flamebait? This guy has a real point.
    The internet does corrupt kids. We got the internet in our house 3 months ago and now my two teenage sons are constantly talking about girls. It's like they're obsessed. I know the internet is to blame because it is totally unnatural for teenage boys to be obsessed with sex. It's part of a slippery slope. First the health teacher tells them that girls don't have cooties, then they start looking at pictures of breasts on the net. Next stop is blindness, insanity and hairy palms -- or worse -- dating, marriage, child rearing and 401k's.
    We must stop the net!
    --Shoeboy
    (former microserf)
  • Gag. Oracle is the answer...for a lazy database programmer. It is possible to make MS SQLServer respond snappily under this kind of traffic; Oracle is an expensive and non-interoperable path. If you're going to go with a commercial DB product, I'd suggest either Sybase or Informix. Sybase has even worked around the stupid way ext2fs caches disk writes, and their Linux database guarantees transactions get written.

    Now, a colocated site with replicated databases, that will improve your performance. And it's a hell of a lot more scalable (and cheaper) than Oracle.
  • Oh yeah... Mirsky was great. Back when the web was just a bunch of college kids up to no good, Mirsky was a consistent source of amusement. Sigh. The internet must be growing up if the mention of an old web side makes me wax nostalgic.

    Plus, on the topic of sex and value, just why *isn't* there an .xxx TLD? Seems to me it would satisfy both the people who want to look at porn, and the people who want not to look at porn.


    --

  • I think it was marked flamebait because I did express my feelings a bit too harshly (hey, who can stay cool all day long except a dead body?) There's a guy wondering why I say "we". "We" the society? "We" the governement? No, "We" means the parents, but most slashdotters are not parents. A separate TLD would let find porn *AND* prevent finding porn. Very simple, and quoting ||Deech|| free speech is also freedom not to listen. I do support guns, free speech and privacy, but I do not want porn anywhere, with redirection &c.
  • I would moderate this up, but I'd rather reply to it. Whats wrong with that proposal and why is it flamebait? I have to agree that maybe forcing pornography to its own TLD would help out. Easy to filter if you so desire, Easy to find, if you so desire. No more stupid re-directed urls, maybe even filter content (graphics, banners, etc) coming from a .sex domain and therefore block stupid banners and popups.
    I'm the type of parent that actually sits with the kids when they are on the internet, but its still far too easy to unintionally come across porn... especially those sites that have the confusing names (www.whitehouse.com anybody?) My 8 year old daughter was browsing about looking for Poke'mon pictures and stuff (yea, yea, I know... lets move on now) A few clicks later, shes looking at popup adverts for henti and manga. And not just a couple, it was like a pop up widow explosion, at least 10-15 windows opened with ranchy ads and links. I was with her and didn't even see it coming, and I've got several clues as to what to look for. I'm a big proponent of privacy/anti-censorship etc. on the net, but its somewhat rediculous on how easy it is to mistakenly click through to a porn site. The porn advocates/webmasters/etc may say "But its free speech! Its just like a magazine, if you don't like it, don't buy/look at it!" Thats all well and good, but what if some guy went around pasting pornographic ads in random books at the library, or started throwing penthouse mags at crowds of people in the park.. "I wasn't aiming for kids, I was aiming for parents, its not my fault the magazine fell in the kids stroller"
    Its not free speech if we don't have the freedom not to listen. (this applies equally well to UCE, but thats a rant for another day)
  • I smell sarcasm.... Obviously, so do the moderators....


    --
  • That, and the fact that it's labeling a group of people independent of what label they would choose for themselves. Labeling, branding, whatever, when it's MANDATORY is WRONG. If I choose to call myself a pornographer, that's one thing. But if I'm an artist who deals in nudes and someone else labels me as a pornographer, what am I to do?

    The idea is well intentioned but fatally flawed. This strikes me as yet another well intentioned effort to pave that superhighway to hell.

    --Joe
    --
  • It's not being slashdotted, if MS is doing it then it's being ceecolonslashed.


    Don't criticise someone who is attempting to use free software for not using enough free software.
  • The pop-up windows popped up because:
    (a) you're stupid enough to enable Javascript or any scripting of any kind (though, of course, ads are not limited to Javascript);
    (b) you asked your browser to specifically request those ads to be downloaded from a server;
    (c) you were looking at sites targetted towards adults with your eight year-old daughter;
    (d) all of the above.
    The point is, pornographers do not have the technical ability to throw pornographic pictures into a crowd as you suggested. The HTTP protocol ensures this. A better comparison would be opening a book in the library which appeared to be non-pornographic, but when you opened it, you were surprised to find that, indeed, it was pornographic (do libraries even carry pornographic books? oh well). Of course the world wide web does have some differences, those being mainly:
    - on a site-by-site (or book-by-book) basis, there is more pr0n on the web than there is in your library (unless you have a very strange librarian)
    - pr0n sites on the web generate revenue primarily (or at least secondarily) via click-throughs. There is no "leaf-through" revenue for book authors. This means that pr0n site authors have a nasty tendency to advertise falsley

    But that's drifting a bit off topic. Creating a .porn TLD is a fine idea, but forcing people to use it is not because:
    - it would have to become international law (ha haha ha...ya, right)
    - it would have to be enforced internationally (Ha HAH AHAHAH...ya, right)
    - it would force people to define "pornography" or "indecedent material". This would be *extremely* difficult to do locally, and I dare say impossible to do internationally (e.g. there are many cultures who consider the face to be sexy or indecent, and some who treat the female breasts just like any other body part, such as your arm)
  • If I choose to call myself a pornographer, that's one thing. But if I'm an artist who deals in nudes and someone else labels me as a pornographer, what am I to do?

    So don't stop at .SEX TLDs. Also throw in .ART so the Tipper Gores of the world can filter on that too...

  • The email from MS is dated 10th May.. they've been testing the new box for a while now, so I'd say it's coincidence.
  • >(a) you're stupid enough to enable JavaScript or any scripting of any kind (though, of course, ads are not limited to JavaScript);
    I'm fully aware as to what java script is, and that I have it enabled on my browser. I don't even know why you brought it up as you invalidate your own point.
    >(b) you asked your browser to specifically request those ads to be downloaded from a server;
    >(c) you were looking at sites targetted towards adults with your eight year-old daughter;
    Really? http redirects and improperly/fraudulently done meta tags for the search engines to glom onto don't exist in your world? Of course they have the technical ability! I don't know what kind of sheltered little world you live in, but these things happen every day. And you're correct, it is like opening up a book that appears non-pornographic and discovering it is. Its exactly that. They paint their "cover" (i.e.: the meta tags and site descriptions) to look innocent enough, you click on the link to www.happykidstuff.com and suddenly an redirect sends you off to www.sicknastysex.com. It happens.
    I don't propose mandatory restrictions on types, I propose the creation of a tld to be used for the pornography industry. The *real* pornographers, *know* they are pornographers and will go to where their paying audience is. If your some kind of artist that produces art that can be construed as pornographic by someone, you aren't going to be advertising it via banner ads and sneaky redirects, as such don't apply to this equation. My point is that if you go looking for anything that can in anyway be construed in anyone's sick mind as a potential audience for porn, (i.e.: anime, cartoons, animals, toys.. do a search for any of the above in your favorite search engine, and I bet money you get a crap load of porn links back) then you are targeted. This is wrong. That's my point.

  • Couldn't we see CmdrTaco flaying Bill with a steel wire copy of the cease and desist email, alternating with drowning Jeff in a sea of his own patent applications?

    I'm pretty sure Jon Katz could think of some interesting things to do with / to those nice persons at Pinkerton.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Mirsky, the guy who brought you "Worst of the Web" until 1996, has returned to the Web. He e-mailed me about this "new open business plans." I do have to say I think that the Valueporn is a great idea - and Mirsky has the ultimate sticky EULA *grin*. That, and multiple online weddings.

    I tried using Babelfish but to no avail. What does it say?

  • Wow, it's great to see one of the masters (and pioneers!) of web-satire return. I used to check out Mirsky's Worst of the Web every day. In fact, I think Slashdot owes a little something to Mirsky. Not only did thousands of web designers learn how NOT to build a site by reading Mirsky, but he was there in the early days of content-gathering websites. Three cheers!

    Oh yeah, and I still think porn is bad.

    _____________
    I'll bet / with my Net / I can get / those things yet.
  • This "valueporn" is just as stupid as the rest of the porn, and just as unbearable.

    Why should we allow .com to be squatted by pornographs perverting kids?

    I would support a .xxx which a parent-restrict option and heavy fines and prosections for bypasser.

    Moreover, this would remove the need of the so called net filters.

    This would preserved "free speech" but would ensure those who do not want porn would never get it.

    BTW DDOS are nice, there are fewer messages :-)
  • Take a look at this Doonesbury from a few weeks ago, about MyVulture.com. http://www2.uclick.com/client/wpc/db/2000/04/28/ http://www2.uclick.com/client/wpc/db/2000/05/02/ File off the serial numbers, call it something sexy like...Valueporn! Sounds a hell of a lot better than PornVulture. Eeuugh. Anu3bis (The 3 is silent)
  • doogie, pick up the phone!

  • Wow, I'm suprised to see him pop up again. His "Worst of the Web" was consitently one of the funniest thing's I've read online. I really miss those things... I'm sure there are equally bad websites out there today...

    Anyone else remember his drunk browsing test?

    Or his sample "Worst Homepage" - where a "construction" icon says something like "This page is not under construction - this means I'm a construction worker!"

    He's really under-appreciated. Really, who else on the web is more amusing than him? Kibo, perhaps? Lileks?
  • There's nothing wrong with slashdot. Its a denial of service attack. Try slapdash.org [slapdash.org] and then tell me if slashdot is down. Put those numbers in your /etc/hosts while slashdot is being /.ed.
  • by daviddennis ( 10926 ) <david@amazing.com> on Friday May 12, 2000 @11:44AM (#1076478) Homepage
    I was so proud a few years back when a site I nominated for Mirsky's Worst of the Web got accepted, albiet in a different form. It was http://www.netcenter.com , home of this incredibly cheesy fellow who claimed to be "the center of the Internet". Netcenter then symbolized all that is tawdry in the world of the net, those odd entrupeneurs who would create a concept without any regard as to whether it was in any way useful or well done, filled with BLINK tags and bad writing.

    It's quite ironic that netcenter.com was eventually bought by Netscape for its portal. Shed a tear for someone's dreams -- or don't, since I'm sure he held up Netscape for more than he could have ever made from the name himself.

    D

    ----
  • I think it's because so many people are interested in this whole thing about MS wanting Slash to remove those posts... news all over the place.. Slashdot is being... not Slashdotted... being dot.COM dotted? Lol..
  • by Yarn ( 75 ) on Friday May 12, 2000 @09:07AM (#1076480) Homepage
    I read the main body text, then wondered why /. had mentioned an EULA. So I looked for it. Now I'm bound by it dammit!

    It would have been his fault for making it look like a banner ad...
  • Isn't it interesting that just after the article about new and tricky ways of consuming all the bandwidth to a server via TCP protocol manipulation (complete with source code!) that /. experiences a denial of service attack?

    Cmdr. Taco, I would be very interested in seeing a technical writeup of the DOS attack, and how you and your engineers dealt with it. Most of all, could you let us know what technology the attackers used?

  • was it a coincidence that they upgraded just before this happened ?
  • Gag. Oracle is the answer...for a lazy database programmer.

    Sure, thats why 90% of the websites out there run on it?

    Oracle is an expensive and non-interoperable path.

    Oracle in "non-interoperable"? What does that mean? Its the most widely supported product in its class - it has more hardware and third-party software support than any RDBMS. It has good programming libraries in almost any language.

    worked around the stupid way ext2fs caches disk writes

    Or maybe you bite the bullet and realize linux is not the way to go to run your company database, at least not yet.

  • Yeah I just read about the DDOS.. Would seem appropriate given that Slashdot is about communication.. if they cut that off.. well, it would make sense. Still.. with so many people interested in the story, it can't make life any easier on their box(en). New one at that! Good thing they upgraded when they did...

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. -- Thomas Edison

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