Journal TechnoLust's Journal: Talked to Boo's dad tonight 63
I hurt so bad I can't describe it. The closest thing I can think of would be an elephant standing on my chest and head. I can't breathe. I've barely eaten all day. I keep trying to make myself, but I can't. I hate this. I can't believe he told me all that shit about it was ok with them if we wanted to date. I'm just sick of them. I'm not going to say anything about what I'm going to do because I'm too emotional to make any decisions. I know I will wait on Boo if that is what it takes, but I hope it doesn't come to that. And as always I will try to do what God wants. It has just never been this painful before. Heh. Funny thing is, I know Mom is praying for us right now. I can feel it. I'm starting to feel better already. Not great, but bearable. I hope Boo can feel it too. I miss her so much already.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Sorry, TL. (Score:1, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Sorry, TL. (Score:1)
I don't think that Boo's parents are doing the right thing, b
Honest and forthright. (Score:2)
The only one that can really improve things is Boo
That's why I'm trying to encourage her to be totally honest with them. I can't MAKE her, but I can encourage her. She
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Sorry, TL. (Score:2)
Re:Sorry, TL. (Score:2)
Also, if I were to ever fail at what I do, I could always go back and live with one of them. So maybe that's why I flew the coop at the earliest possible convenience.
maybe (Score:1)
how long until she is 18? do you think her folks have considered the chance they may not have control of her after that?
Re:maybe (Score:1)
Re:maybe (Score:2)
She turns 18 on March 18th, so 9 months and 12 days. I think they think they will still be able to control her, but they won't.
Re:maybe (Score:1)
ugh (Score:2)
Re:ugh (Score:2)
Re:ugh (Score:2)
Sorry. (Score:2)
Re:Sorry. (Score:2)
So sorry (Score:2)
Proverbs 3:25, 3:31, and my personal favorite, 15:1.
I feel your pain... (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
Re:hard lessons (Score:2)
Do some praying. Hook up with God. I know you're arleady doing that. Keep on doing that. HBI's advice is good for some, but not your situation.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:hard lessons (Score:1)
It does if it kills them!
Delayed (Score:2)
I won't give you the old cliche of "if it's meant to be, then..." blah blah blah. No. I will say that this is simply a delay.
A stumbling point.
You still feel the same way about her. And she you.
The parents are pulling out of their church in order to more easily exert what they believe to be "good" control over their daughter. The bottom line is that in due time they HAVE to release her to the world - every parents job - and "pr
I'm not up2date about this... (Score:1)
Oh, and, strange idea to change church just because you're there. Boy that are some extreme measures.
This is what I get for reading in the wrong order (Score:1)
I first thought that they were being stupid for no reason, then I read the previous JE.
I'm sure that Boo's parents are freaked out about the marriage conversation, but they're also most likely freaked out about her brother and his gf. And yes, I know they blame the girlfriend, because it doesn't take 2 to tango.
Asshats. People like this are part of the reason I left the south. Women are held to a different standard, and are both responsible for their partner's sexual activity, and need to be protected fro
Re:This is what I get for reading in the wrong ord (Score:2)
My thoughts exactly, and he said I'M the one not doing God's will.
Re:This is what I get for reading in the wrong ord (Score:2)
Damn, KshG... beat me right to the punch.
We have to remember we are hearing only one side of the story (not to say you are lying TL, but its a perspective thing).
Think of it this way... you have a 17 year old daughter, she's dating a MUCH older man. You see her as a child, yet
Re:This is what I get for reading in the wrong ord (Score:1)
TL, Angie and I were broken up for about seven months. No problem. You can do it standing on your head. But I suggest drinking a lot in the meantime.
And I must say that when/if you have a daughter, you'll be able to empathize with some of their actions. (Note: not agree with or accept or repeat, but empathize.)
i'm here if you need to talk (Score:2)
but mostly, i want to say that i think this is appropriate for right now. It hits you hard but you need to be backed off, she needs the time to crystallise a bit, and her parents will leave her alone a little more maybe while she gets older if they feel like they've won.
In the meantime, you stay calm and live your life with her in it as a long-distance relationship for a little while.
At least this puts an end to the sneaki
Re:i'm here if you need to talk (Score:2)
No Sol, they won't. I wish they would, but they won't. I have asked her several times if I should just back off completely to make it easier on her. She told me they always find something to complain about. She said being with me made it bearable, and it is just as bad if I'm not there, but then she has the added pain of me not being there. They keep her locked at home doing chores because they
Re:i'm here if you need to talk (Score:2)
Re:i'm here if you need to talk (Score:2)
Re:i'm here if you need to talk (Score:2)
Re:i'm here if you need to talk (Score:2)
Sorry Man (Score:1)
I felt the same way when my ex-wife told me that she was leaving and we couldn't resolve our problems. Hurt like hell and totally sucked. I'm sorry you get to experience that.
The good news is that it gets better. It's amazing how things have a way of working out. Just hang in there and remember what's important to you in life. You can't appreciate the high points in life
I'm pullin' for ya'; we're all in this together (Score:2)
If you take a lump of coal, subject it to high temperature and pressure one of two things is going to happen. Either it is g
Re:I'm pullin' for ya'; we're all in this together (Score:2)
Re:I'm pullin' for ya'; we're all in this together (Score:2)
2 Corinthians 1:3-7 :: New Living Translation (NLT) [gospelcom.net]
God Offers Comfort to All
3 All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 5 You can be sure that the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 6 So when we are weighed down with
from the no-subject dept. (Score:2)
Ya know, TL -- if you read back through all your journals, I think the one thing that's most prominent through all of this is that you're an eternal optimist. Look back at how you write about her parents.
Um (Score:2)
That was good. Really damn good. Especially the Yoda and Lloyd Dobler shout-outs.
I'm just now starting to work at finding how others may not be thinking of my welfare. It's hard for me as well because I always think the good will come out, but life really ain't that way.
Sorry, just re-hashing, but this posting was dead on I'm afraid. I've been there too--beating my head against the wall, too naive to realize it doesn't matter that I'm beating my head against the wall and just hu
Re:from the no-subject dept. (Score:1)
All in all, you're doing better than my other 27-year-old-acquiantance-who-was-dating-a-17-yr-o l d...
He's in jail right now, because her parents found out. OTOH, they had been having sex and there were nude pictures etc involved (all this came out at the trial), so never let anyone tell yo
Re:from the no-subject dept. (Score:2)
1) I don't believe that is what God would want me to do. He says to keep forgiving. Yes they hurt me, yes, they are doing it intentionally, and they may never stop trying to. But I will continue to love them and forgive them, because that is what I am supposed to do according to my beliefs.
2) Boo can't cut them out of her life, and if I c
Re: (Score:2)
Re:from the no-subject dept. (Score:2)
Re:from the no-subject dept. (Score:1)
I think he should just become a kickboxer. It's the sport of the future, ya know.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:from the no-subject dept. (Score:2)
Not quite what I meant. So I'll clarify...although we'll probably have to get into a much deeper religious discussion to get to the bottom of what I'm saying, since it's deeply grounded in my beliefs.
I never said that you would stop forgiving, loving, and hoping for them. What I did say is that you need to break the cycle of abuse.
Right now it's open-hunting season on you, and their actions are predict
Re:from the no-subject dept. (Score:2)
It isn't just my decision though. We are in a relationship. Boo is my partner. The decisions affect her too. This particular decision affects her more. I have explained to her that it would be easier. She told not to leave her, even for a minute. So I will not. I let myself be hurt because of my love for her. I don't resent her for it or for asking me to go through it, because she is, as you say, getting it worse. the part of the verse y
Re:from the no-subject dept. (Score:2)
No, no no. I'm not saying YOU need the therapy!
If I had mod points, you would get a hard earned "+5 insightful."
P.S.: I love the above post and want to have its children.
Re:from the no-subject dept. (Score:2)
Don't you wanna take the post out for a drink or something? Make sure that it's really the post for you? What if the post thinks you're moving too fast?
How long until she turns 18? (Score:2)
Re:How long until she turns 18? (Score:2)
Time to Talk to a lawyer (Score:2)
If they're being that drastic, it behooves you to investigate to see exactly when "the soonest possible time to leave home" is. And once you have that, determining when is simply a matter of passing enough time nad deciding when the pain of leaving exceeds the pain of staying.
(Don't forget to ask "what can I
Look at it this way (Score:2)
Re:Look at it this way (Score:2)
Some Recommendations (Score:2)
----
When you sit down with her parents, remember that this is - at some level - a business-like negotiation. Be prepared to accept some blame (1) for the actions that they, as parents and guardians (2) perceive to be negative. Demonstrate respect (3) for their feelings/positions. Remember that some lies are perceptions, even if th
Re:Some Recommendations (Score:2)
I will DEFINITELY use the "Wh
The limits to rationality (Score:2)
It's okay to be an eternal optimist. It's okay to forgive Boo's folks unconditionally. It's maybe okay -- I doubt it, but maybe -- to deal with this as a battle of wills.
It's not okay to think you can deal rationally with people who are delusional.
What you're getting from her parents are not reasons. They are justifications, rationalizations, words they're making sound good so they can get what they want. You cannot win an argument with them, because they aren't really
$0.02++ (Score:2)
"Thy will be done."
It tells me everything will turn out alright, because God is in control. You cannot be where God is not, and His will cannot be undone.