Journal bubblegoose's Journal: Advice needed on daughter/gf stuff 20
So things are going pretty well with the gf and me. The gf took Emily out to a farmer's market last Saturday and then some other shopping. Saturday Emily called the gf "mommy". She also did it last night.
Now what approach do I take with this? Here are some factors to affect this:
She is 3 years old, she knows that kids have a mommy and a daddy, but the ex- and I have been seperated for the last 1.5 yrs.
The real mom has her about 30% of the time and it just seems like when I get her she is lacking in attention from her mom.
The gf is very good with her, they seem to get along great.
I don't want to get Em's hopes up too much. While things are going great with the gf, marriage isn't even a consideration at the present time.
Th gf and I have been keeping it low key around Em. Em hasn't even seen us hug.
I don't want to say "No, she isn't your mommy" what if things work out with the gf. I don't want to say "You already have a mommy", because in my opinion the real mommy doesn't do that great a job.
Anybody have experience with this, either from the point of view of being a stepchild, or an adult in my situation? Or just some good insight?
Picked up a great book, "Joint Custody With A Jerk". Totally suits as yesterday I just went off on the ex-. She yelled at me when we were trying to work out the holiday schedule. You see this year my Birthday falls on Easter. I was just talking, I hadn't raised my voice...until that point. Then I just plain lost it with her, I let out a string of obsenities on her. I love not having to take her crap.
How much April Fool's do you think the "editors" will ram down our throats again this year?
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Set it straight. (Score:2)
Re:Set it straight. (Score:2)
Johndiii has some pretty insightful stuff, I guess I'll have to find out why Emily is calling her mommy.
Talk to her about it... (Score:2, Interesting)
I'd say, at this point, that she has not done anything inappropriate. It may be that she feels neglected by the ex, and is looking for some real mommy time (she may perceive that more strongly than you do). Or, she thinks of any adult woman hanging out with Daddy as a Mommy-figure. You should also talk to her about
Re:Talk to her about it... (Score:2, Interesting)
This could also be an indication that she's having problems with her mom, though, and you may need to help her with those. A three-year-old will react in a way t
Re:Talk to her about it... (Score:2)
I guess a walk and talk down to the park is in order for this weekend.
Re:Talk to her about it... (Score:3, Interesting)
Sure, it would be really nice to find yet *another* flaw in your ex's mothering that has resulted in some (reparable, of course, given plenty of time away from her!) psychological damage, but I *really* don't think that's the case.
I find that Kiddo has a blast playing around with labels that she knows are inaccurate -- calling
Re: (Score:2)
Here's an idea (Score:2)
I can't relate to your situation (re: the separation), except to tell you that around the same age, Kiddo was referring to ALL adults as "Mommies" or "Daddies" or "Grannies." I think she is probably quite aware that your GF is not *her* Mommy, but since that's the frame of reference she has for
Re:Here's an idea (Score:1)
Very common for kids to call any male adult daddy, any female adult mommy. Ask any school teacher how many times they've been called one or the other. (Of course, in our fubar'ed society, kids spend more time with the teacher than with parents).
Re:Here's an idea (Score:2)
Re:Here's an idea (Score:2)
Re:Here's an idea (Score:2)
OK, so I'll vent this one on slashdot. Here is a snippit of my Livejournal account that I keep. I keep the Livejournal stuff hopefully to use l
I wouldn't make too big a deal of it (Score:2)
What about the gf? (Score:2)
How did you introduce gf to Emil
Re:What about the gf? (Score:2)
She was introduced to her as my friend, and then her first name.
Advice: don't date your daughter... (Score:2)
Well, I've not been a step child or the parent, but I've been where your gf is. Remember The Psycho had a 6 year old daughter who started calling me daddy. We never corrected or encouraged it. After Psycho showed her true colors, I have never been allowed to speak to her or her daughter again. It was really hard on me and I imagine the girl too.
Hmmm (Score:1)
A quick bit of background - I'm divorced as well, though fortunately in my case my ex-wife isn't too crazy. I've got three children, all older than your daughter.
I once was in a relationship with a woman who had two children, and she'd been cycling through men (me included
Re:Hmmm (Score:2)
I gave it a lot of thought before introducing the two. I really feel like I HAVE to be the one who provides stability and good values for my daughter, because the mom won't do it.
No pressure. (Score:2)