Journal mcgrew's Journal: -- Stand up stand off 9
I woke up before the clock went off, in a tremendously good mood, even walking into work with a smile on my face. Usually it takes several cups of coffee before I'm awake enough to smile, or have any expression at all.
It was a beautiful day, with a pleasant temperature and shining sun and birds singing and shitting on people I didn't like's cars. I had a date lined up with a really nice girl with exceptionally beautiful eyes that made up for her talking like Buddy Hackett, as well as her extreme lack of body mass.
I took off work two hours early to do some shopping at WalMart, and things started messing my mood up. People were driving like they were all on both their cell phone and crack, and when I got there they still were out of the LED bulbs I needed; I'd bought the last one the week earlier, and they still didn't have one that fit my fixture. I grudgingly got a halogen bulb that cost the same as the LED and used 20 times the electricity, and did more shopping. It was still fairly good, coffee was only $5 a can and they had other good prices on things I needed. I picked up two movies that had been stolen out of my collection, and they were only $5 each.
I went home, put the groceries and stuff away, gathered up my laundry and took it to the laundromat.
I forgot the damned detergent. And I forgot to take my netbook; they have free wifi there.
The change machine was broken and the attendant was gone somewhere. I finally got some change, and at 3:05 called Cindy; we were slated to go out at 4:00, and I was supposed to call at 3:00.
She didn't answer. "Hi, this is Steve, we were supposed to go to D'Arcy's and I was supposed to call you, if you're still interested give me a call back."
I got the laundry finished by quarter to four, and she still hadn't called. I took it home and went to Felber's to pay my tab. And then called Tammy.
"Ha ha!" she said. "See what you get for asking her instead of me?" It turned out that she had been in town drinking with her daughter all day and was just getting back home.
I did some (I thought) really good backpedaling, saying I'd only asked this woman out because I felt sorry for her, what with the cancer and everything. It worked; I had a replacement date lined up. "I'll need to get ready, maybe a half hour or so. I'll call when I get on the road and meet you at Felber's," she said.
Forty five minutes later she still hadn't called, so I called her. No answer. Damn, stood up twice in the same day!
Five minutes later she called. "I'm on the highway, I was on the phone with my sister. I'll be there shortly."
Billie was there trying to start a fight. I told her the next damned time she hit me she was going to jail. I won't strike a woman, but I'll damned sure have one arrested.
Tammy called again. "I'm giving my sister a ride, it'll be another half hour." Billie was getting more annoiying by the minute. Mike warned her against violence a couple of times.
Half hour later Tammy called again. "I dropped her off, be there in ten minutes!" I got yet another beer. "If she doesn't show up pretty soon," I told Dewey, "she's going to have to drive!" The phone rang; her again. "Shit, I just got pulled over."
Shit shit shit; she was probably going to jail on a DUI. Half hour later I was tired of Billie's mouth and went home. I tried to call Tammy to tell her I wasn't at Felber's any more, and got no answer.
A while after that she called. "You wouldn't believe the hassle, I'll tell you when I get there, maybe five minutes." I told her I'd gone home, she said she'd meet me there. Five minutes later she called again. "You need to move your car farther up in the drive so I can get in!"
She was wearing a dress; obviously the plan was D'Arcy's, but it was getting too late to go out. We decided to drink beer at my house instead.
"They thought I had drugs", she said. "They had a sniffing dog, searched my car and my purse, my... SON OF A BITCH!"
"What?"
"The cops took my goddamned address book!"
We were up pretty late. I'm tired as hell this morning.
But it's a good kind of tired.
LOL (Score:2)
Mind you, I find Dr. Girlfriend [youtube.com] ridiculously sexy, so it's not exactly an automatic turnoff.
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Captain Splenda likes the Trannies. Noted.
Actually, that's less lame than getting excited over a fucking cartoon character.
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P.S. It's still lame you get a stiffy for a fucking cartoon character, dumbass.
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I would do Betty but I would be thinking of Wilma.
(:
Dave Lister, Red Dwarf.
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It's not so much that she sounds like Buddy Hackett, it's how she moves her mouth when she speaks. She kind of talks out of one side of her face like he did. IIRC she was like that before the cancer, when she tended bar at Doc's Lounge.
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It's hard to find anybody here who isn't at least a little cartoonish. There is (or was, I haven't seen her for years) that was the spitting image of Betty Boop, except this woman's head was bigger.