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Journal janeowit's Journal: When I grow up, I want to be Miss Universe! 41

Journal by janeowit

During commercial breaks of Grey's Anatomy last night, I watched Donald Trump's oddest possession, the Miss Universe pageant. Just to let you know, Earth was the only planet competing again this year. I just don't get it. There isn't a talent portion anymore, and they aren't even pretending it's a scholarship program, so what is it? A title saying that you are the most beautiful woman in the universe, oh yeah, that's why women want to win. But if you think that these women are just pretty faces with no substance or brains, think again. Miss Mexico wants to start a magazine, Miss Colombia has a Master's Degree in Jewelry making, and Miss USA likes Lake Tahoe. The winner was Miss Puerto Rico, and I am pretty sure it was because she had a chain mail evening gown.

The judges pick the winner from the top five based on her ability to answer a question with grace and poise and beauty, probably. So I took notes. I wrote down the five questions the ladies were asked to see if my answers are pageant worthy. They aren't. The correct answers are of course, paraphrased, since several of them were through translators anyway.

1. What is your greatest fear?
  I've already mentioned this, I really fear going crazy. I know it sounds very self-centered with all the things I could fear, but I do. I fear that things I do are early signs of something worse and that I'm witnessing my own descent into madness, and that is a very scary thing.

Correct answer: Losing my family, because family is the most important thing in the world.

2. What value would you like to teach your children?
That the world is a dangerous and frightening place, but that you have to face it anyway. Refusing to get out of bed doesn't make the world stop or go away.

Correct answer: I want to teach my children to love everyone, and that it doesn't matter who you are, you deserve to love and be loved.

3. If you could change one thing in the history of humanity, what would you change and why?
This is a tough one. If I could change one thing it would be to increase mankind's awareness of they damage they were doing to other species sooner. We still aren't doing enough to stop the extinction of plants and animals, but there are so many that we purposely killed.

Correct answer: (confusing blathering on about how men and woman aren't different) I would change the violence and the need for man to enslave other people.

4. What is one of your major flaws?
One?!? That's hard to pick. I'm late. I'm always late, no matter how hard I try, I always am late. I'll wake up a half hour earlier than normal to give me enough time, and somehow I manage to dawdle to the point where I am five minutes late.

Correct answer: (For some reason, I didn't write this one down, so correct me if I remembered it wrong) I visit people in hopsitals to make them happy, and I get really attatched. When they die I get so sad, even if I met them only once. And when I travel I make new friends all the time, when I have to leave I get really sad.

5. What is your definition of success?
I think you can call yourself successful if you are happy with your life, even if there are things you would change. I think success is happiness.

Correct answer: Having a vision and a dream and being able to do enough to see that dream come true.

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When I grow up, I want to be Miss Universe! More

When I grow up, I want to be Miss Universe!

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  • That hospital answer was classic.
  • I saw all these pics of the contestants in their evening gowns. The vast majority looked like drag queens...
  • We ARE pageants. :/

    1. What is your greatest fear? Well, I would have to say that I share the common fear of going mad, but more than that, i fear waking up at the age of eighty realising that i have not done anything productive with my life and am leaving nothing of worth behind me.

    Correct answer: Oh, gosh, i'm just so afraid that people will miss how beautiful life really is, and how much goodness surrounds them in their fellow man.

    2. What value would you like to teach your children?

    Kids, if you learn only
    • You are too good at this game, you were a little miss something, weren't you?

      But seriously, good answer on the documentation of the past. I just watched a Nova special on this Archimedes text that is being restored, thanks to new technology. All the original ink was washed off, and new text was written over it in the perpendicular direction because they didn't have paper and didn't know how important it was.

      I'll rebel against music because it's popular, but pretty much everything, eh. It doesn't matter to m
      • Also, I'll be in Boston the first weekend in August.

        Whore!
        • Hey now. If I wasn't a slutty whore, I wouldn't be your friend in the first place, so don't go saying that's suddenly a bad thing since I will be spending the weekend alone with your boyfriend... who is also well known in the tri-county area as a man slut.
          • Jane, may we bring you on a duck tour if we promise to check if the subways are in working order first?

            And i will look into the costuming, did you have an era in mind, or were you just looking for vikings?

            • I would like that, but it's really up to Some Guy and he's already done the duck tour.

              I love historical reenactments of all sorts! The only time period we have around here is early 1800's. It's good though, they shoot ye olde guns and have rock candy.

              • make him bring you to the USS constitution, at the very least. they don't re-enact very often but they do have cannons.

                i'll see what i can find. Most of ours are 1750-1780, revolutionary war types. We have sturbridge village but you'll have seen stuff like it (complete with rock candy.)

                I'll let you know what i find.
                • Not necessarily. I saw a bunch about 10 years ago around D.C., and Fort Snelling, that's really it.

                  I did a little bit of reenacting myself. There was a non-scary Halloween trail walk at the State Park I worked at, and there were five people in costume, with props, along the half mile trail who stopped and told the kids stories about living in the area a long time ago. And for three years I was the pioneer healer.

                  I just get so into it.

                  I am such a dork.


    • My definition of success is making it through another day at a time without starving myself, crying for no reason, giving in to despair, or just numbing myself with the artificial anaesthetics of the media until i feel nothing at all.


      That is so going in my favorite quotes file.

    • Hey, speaking of Boston... do you know the precise coordinates of the molasses spill? Google tells me nothing, because apparently not everybody is awed by standing in a spot once host to an avalanche of sugary death.

      P.S. I agree that you are much to good at pagentry. I'd have gone and destroyed all plausibility on question 3 by adding in "pestilence."
  • do you really want to be judged in the way the women in those shows are? the company you choose and the activities with which you get involved offer so many different kinds of metrics. why choose one so arbitrary. the women who win aren't necessarily bad people, but rarely are they the most beautiful women of any given region. neither are they usually the smartest or the most interesting. they do happen to be the ones who excel at pageant competitions, though. i ask you this, how accurately do you thi
  • I have never watched the Miss Universe pageant, and I think I've only bothered to watch the Miss America exactly once. I consider these sort of pageants to be shallow and embarrassing.

    Consider question number three. They were asked for one thing they could change. The "correct" answer was "...I would change the violence and the need for man to enslave other people." Uhhh... That's two things. That girl needs to get back to grade school.

    The answer to question number four makes me want to drag the conte

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