Are there eels in your hovercraft?

I'm old enough to know a Monty Python reference when I see one. But I don't get the context here.

Not ChatGPT. I have been here on Slashdot.org offering healthcare advice for close to 15 years.

When the disastrous Fukushima meltdown happened, a small group of health care professionals I am a member of called Chiropractors Without Borders offered to fly to Japan as an emergency response team.

Most people alive today have health-robbing vertebral subluxations which can affect everything from balance to fertility. A subluxated person is far more likely to have issues with radiation negatively affecting them, especially things like the thyroid.

Japan denied our request.

I would hope they learned their lesson and will have on-site chiropractic care for those workers who were inadvertantly exposed to deadly radiation. A worker who handles a radioactive rod without protection may die in days without immediate and focused chiropractic treatments.

For years I've had Slashdotians calling me all sorts of names: troll, shill, quack, you name it.

They hate me because I tell the truth and they're brainwashed by Big Pharmaceutical and Big Science. You know what's real? Results. The results speak for themselves. Imagine a couple in their 50s who has been trying to have a child for decades. They've given up. Even though I'm semi-retired, I keep my office open every Tuesday. The first Tuesday of every month is a BOGO adjustment day.

Anyhow...

This couple in their 50s visits me. I adjust them both and have to revisit them both half an hour later for further treatments as their spines were absolutely riddled with vertebral subluxations. Both of them had horrible subluxations around their L1-L:5 vertebrae. These are just above the pelvis and carry the signals to the reproductive system.

After my heavy work, they left. A bit sore but excited.

Several weeks later they were back and absolutely glowing. "Doc," the woman said bursting out in tears, "We're pregnant! After 30 years of trying, we're pregnant!" It was truly a heartwarming moment and made me proud of what I do to help people overcome their dis-ease and poor lifestyle choices.

They were thinking of going to a Big Pharma-backed obstetrician but after some talk, I convinced them it was a waste of their time and money. They'll be visiting me every Tuesday until that beautiful baby is born. I've given them the name of a wonderful midwife I know who has been delivering babies for over 60 years.

Down Syndrome? Not real. It's caused by drinking pasteurized milk, not age. Risk of sudden fetal loss? No change since you were 18 unless you use a microwave oven and irradiate yourself with its cancer-beams.

Take care,
Bob

They are boosting the pay of the staff but those staff are sitting down for countless hours chatting with an AI while their spines become riddled with health-robbing vertebral subluxations.

Sure, their pay has risen by 60% but I guarantee you their lives will be shortened by at least 1 year for every 3 years of employment.

If Klarna truly cares about their employees, they would reduce that pay increase to around 50% and use that to have several highly trained Doctors of Chiropractic on hard to treat the workers. Imagine the relief knowing you could leave your cubicle and head down the hall to have your vertebral subluxations dealt with.

This would add years to the employees' lives and absolutely would help solidify their loyalty to the company. After all, if the company cares this much, why would you leave?

Take care,
Bob

Ask any AI about how chiropractic adjustments can add years to your life and you get a bunch of biased garbage telling you it's not true and you should trust only those "doctors" in the pockets of Big Pharma and Big Vaccine.

Your body's nervous system is a highly sensitive system of 'organic wiring'. A vertebral subluxation in the spine is like a kink in a garden hose. Sure, the nerve impulse flow, but they are restricted which leads directly to dis-ease.

Only a trained professional from a recognized chiropractic college has the knowledge to release these subluxations and have your nervous system in tip-top performance. It takes only minutes, but can add years to your life.

The next time your Pharma Doc pushes pills on your, or a vaccine for "insurance", take a trip to a Doctor of Chiropractic and get a second, educated opinion.

Take care,
Bob

Chiropractic care will gently eliminate health-robbing vertebral subluxations. That will allow your nerve impulses to flow freely to your ovaries and cervix, providing countless health benefits.

You'll need a larger house after a few years of treatments!

Take care,
Bob

It's been known for over 120 years that chiropractic treatments can eliminate life-stealing vertebral subluxations from the spine.

That translates directly into neurological health. Alzheimer's patients should seek immediate chiropractic care to help them correct their brain misalignments.

I had one patient who kept forgetting my name, near the end I was treating her in her palliative care area. But she never once forgot to pay me. That is the power of chiropractic!

Amazon is known to rotate employees around the company. Imagine some poor sucker who spent a couple of weeks working in a data center delivering data and being irradiated his whole working time.

Then Amazon sends that person to work in another warehouse and they walk around spewing all that collected radiation, infecting other innocent Amazon employees.

Those people should seek immediate relief from a spinal care specialist such as a chiropractor. A chiropractor will gently adjust the spine so the body becomes more adept at collecting and releasing any radiation harmlessly through urine and exhalation.

Take care,
Bob

"Chiropracty" is a slur used by alternative medicine haters.

You mock, but if you have an open mind and understand how science works, you could start by reading The Annals of Vertebral Subluxation Research. There's enough evidence there supporting subluxation-centred Chiropractic there to keep you reading for a lifetime.

Young people are often morbidly obese, have terrible diets, and don't exercise. The rates of vertebral subluxations observed in the under-30 crowd is at an all time high. Their spines are effectively rotting, subluxations take hold, disease follows. You could see a chiropractor every day of the week to have the subluxations addressed, but it would be futile with such a damaging lifestyle.

Keep a healthy weight, eat a light diet consisting mostly of organic vegetables and meat, get plenty of exercise, and visit a chiropractor to have your nervous system tuned up so it's firing on all cylinders.