"(aside perhaps from the certification)"

Yes, well then you understand why you won't be receiving the advertised salary then don't you?

"Oh, and I'm not a "pretentious dolt." I'm genuinely superior to you, intellectually."

Actually, the non-pretentious manner of expression here would be "You're a fucking idiot." - anyone other than a dolt would know better.

Almost 14 years ago I cut off my index finger while working at a sawmill. The finger was fused stiff so the knuckle was destroyed but the finger remains mangled, but somewhat usable.

First, get some exercise a little squishy ball or if at all possible some literal weight lifting for your hands, this can include the "hand-grips" or even a forearm weight.

Hand grips

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=hand+grip

Forearm weight

http://www.amazon.com/GoFit-GF-WFB-Wrist-Forearm-Blaster/dp/B0007W2FJA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=sporting-goods&qid=1288051339&sr=8-1-spell

Second, skills training. Get a darn typing program. If you used to play billiards - go play. Relearn how to do those things that you are best at, like tying your shoes and pay attention. You are going to relearn some very basic motor skills, pay attention to the way that unfolds, or has unfolded, just being mindful of the situation will help. For example, you will learn to do things with your right hand and tend to do things the same way with your left hand or vice versa.

Third, you are going to be alright, eventually you wil be surprised that it is normal.

For me personally, I prefer the thinest lightest keyboards I can find.

I want to know what 13 turns into? 1:30AM? 1PM? 1:30PM?

And is there a standards body willing to assume stewardship over your Time/Date markup language?

don't forget to verify that the system is using the proper fucking time in the first place.

I got what you were saying, dipshit (key user - I love that this implies that OTHER fucking people may have benefited from the work destroyed) didn't want to enter two characters, so scrapped what was probably a 300% increase in efficiency.

http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Extensive-Date-Parsing.aspx

STFU.

I love how retarded your description is.

800 = 8:00am
700 = 7:00pm

????

Seriously, stfu.

Seriously, who the fuck didn't know?

My next piece of information is very pertinent and costs money.

Nah, the thing you do is reverse engineer it, document everything and sell it back to them as intelligence.

Finally! The year of Linux on the Desktop!

APK! How are you doin' buddy? Long time no see? :p

So, sealing the hole in the ozone layer will
a) contribute to global warming, because it will re-establish a layer of greenhouse gasses that had previously gone missing.
b) contribute to global cooling because the greenhouse gasses protect us from being hit directly by solar radiation.
c) look, the hole in the ozone layer is fixed, global warming is unpossible!

Far better is to start a rumor that the extra weight is antibiotic resistant superbugs, anyways what happens to the livestock that are left to deal with superbugs? Do we give them antibiotics? Cheap low-grade antibiotics? Super-antibiotics that we use on people to get rid of superbugs? How do we deal with the inevitable larger quantities of superbugs?

So, an environmental engineer absentmindedly decided it was worth keeping the disease and getting rid of the stress? I'm not sure legislation will work very well on this. For example, you can't legislate that the hole in the ozone layer go away, it just doesn't work like that. I didn't read the article, but, the legislation actually has to work. Does it?