In 1991, I was repairing PCs at a local shop. A desktop PC came in for some software to be installed. I powered it up, and installed the software. Then turned it off.... Or at least I flipped the power switch into the OFF position. The PC was still running.

Mind you, this is in the days where the power switches on PCs were big red toggle switches that were connected directly to the mains. Well, It's possible that there may be a mechanical fault in the power switch, so I pulled the power cord.

The machine was still running!

I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. I double, no, triple-checked that I had pulled the power cord from the correct PC, that I had the monitor plugged into the machine that I thought I did, etc.

I picked up my screwdriver, opened the case, and found a large expansion card populated with several batteries. It was an internal UPS that was feeding power directly to the motherboard!

Great! Incompetent Demons! I'm not worried at all...

It's music that even your parents thought was too old.

Does it run the Andromeda Strain Demo?

If you really want to get away with something like this, learn to spell so you won't get caught!

After the gulf oil spill, I don't dislike deepwater oil drilling. I dislike the completely irresponsible company that floundered around for weeks before they even tried to fix the leak. There is nothing inherently evil about drilling for oil as long as adequate precautions are taken.

Too bad that not all ailments kill you BEFORE you can reproduce....

Ask your grandmother to donate her body to medical science after she dies. It might actually help other people with random seizures.

When you go to a coffee shop or convenience store and see a donation center for curing your favorite disease, read the fine print. Almost all of them will say the donations go to something like "cancer awareness". I think pretty much everyone is already AWARE of cancer. How about allocating the donations to RESEARCH?!

"The results are in. You are a horrible person. That's what it says, right here. A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that."

If your fitbit can tell if you have been raped or not, then I think you're using it wrong.

No kidding. I don't think anyone is tweeting while playing poker "Royal Flush! Check out my #pokerface."

Are you sure it just wasn't unintentionally DDOSed by millions of day-traders wondering what happened to the NYSE?

I strung one along for a while when he called me. He asked me to take a look at my computer (I have several), so I chose the one running freeDOS. He asked me to look at my desktop with all the icons and I said "I don't HAVE any icons". This caused him to transfer me to a 2nd tier technician. I'm not going to wait on the line for someone I don't want to talk to, so I hung up. That's when the 2nd tier guy calls me back (I ignored it - go to VM) THREE TIMES.

How much does the mob pay an IT worker? It might be better than legit companies.