Get a Blu Dash 5.5 or something like that then. There are a ton of choices. Blue, ZTE, Huwei, and others all make things with plenty of choices. I'm not going to suggest someone buy some farkle brand in order to simply disprove that there aren't modern phones with replaceable batteries.
I don't consider Apple, Samsung, HTC, or LG to be any less evil than the next one. Couple in whatever your carrier is, there is little to no chance there isn't a scumbag or two in the experience.