They included a typo in the summary for extra authenticity. "A r presentative from..."

But yeah, thanks for the reminder that it's "don't bother to visit Slashdot" day.

"The FBI said they do not believe the incident is related to terrorism."

WOW! Seriously. This is great news. I just figured EVERYTHING was ALWAYS called "terrorism" now. Is someone finally figuring out that if everything is terrorism, then nothing is terrorism? Do we no longer need to invoke the boogeyman every time something bad happens? Oh happy day.

> You turn it over, half the bottle dumps onto your food.

Insightful? REALLY? I didn't read that they're making the ketchup thinner or removing the small hole in the end of the cap. The article shows a glass ketchup bottle, true, but the other bottles shown are the more common squeezable plastic kind. The last time I used a glass ketchup bottle was maybe 10 years ago in a restaurant.

Ditto. Things that never stuck in a decade of English classes that finally clicked, made sense, and stuck in my first semester of High School Spanish include gerunds, infinitives, and the subjunctive.

"... problem appears to be getting worse..." [emphasis mine]

Anybody want to bust out some science and actually try measuring something, or just wanna sit around and whine?

Maybe -- just maybe -- you're hearing about it more because thanks to the Internet, there is more info about everything in front of you at all times. So perhaps that explains why you're seeing more bad science? (And everything else.)

Or maybe you could ask the tiny fucking supercomputer that's in your pocket with instant access to 98% of all human knowledge and voice recognition about the state of science today. Jesus fucking christ.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

Wow, 24 hours after launch? That's AMAZING! That is, if you ignore the fact that precise measurements and high-res images of the real thing have been online for months at apple.com... but other than that, yeah, quite a feat.

LITERALLY 2 weeks? MOVE! You don't have a second to lose.

http://store.apple.com/us/browse/open/salespolicies

> External video is up to 3840 by 2160 pixels.
> Yeah, that missing 160 pixels horizontal
> resolution is Soooooo upsetting.

There might be a nipple in the bottom 80 pixels.

Someone is still using a Blackberry phone?

I was just in a clearance store today. Got a couple LED ornaments, and some t-shirts for $1.50 each.

So... "everything in moderation"? Just like... everything else? Got it.

Tomorrow on Slashdot: one editor's quest to rid Slashdot of mixed-tense constructions: "... he'll then go in and manually corrects..."*

Interesting fact: he initially was on a quest to rid wikipedia of "should of" and "could of" but the database crashed under the weight of the results. So we went with "comprised of".

* Just kidding. Slashdot editors don't actually edit. But a boy can dream...

Thanks for the perfect setup for this old joke...

On a four-engine plane over the Atlantic the pilot announces on the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've just lost an engine, but there's nothing to worry about. This plane flies perfectly well on three engines. It just reduces you speed a little so we'll be about a half-hour late."

A few minutes later, another announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've lost another engine. We'll still make it, but that'll slow us down a little more. We'll be about an hour late."

Soon there's yet another message: "We've just lost power on a third engine. I think we'll be OK, but plan on being two hours late."

One of the passengers turns to his neighbor and says, "I hope the fourth one doesn't quit. We'll be up here all day."

The only problem with naming satellites after early astronomers is that when I read the headline, there is a moment where I think "wait -- isn't he dead?"

And yet somehow we survived with these 10,000 people with connections to subversive organizations roaming freely in our midst. Amazing.

Dear ALL GOVERNMENT AGENCIES: *THIS* is why we don't want you to have infinite surveillance. Because those 10,000 people you had files on did EXACTLY NOTHING. You want to wiretap someone, go get some ACTUAL FUCKING EVIDENCE. Not just "he read this book and knows this guy and likes to encrypt his files."