Google is building AUTO from Wall-E.

So the people of earth are now going to be soda-slurping blobs being shuttled around in gravity couches.

. . .

Y'know what? Sure. Why not. F*ck it.

I think we're entitled to laugh at these people.

That "heat belt" is exactly the same shape as states that have voted for Republicans and climate change denial for the last 30 years.

You have been warned about this.

You were told it was coming. You were told it was going to be bad. You were told that it was going to cause disruption to your lives. That it would cause famine, disease and plagues. You were told that you had time to turn it around, but it was going to be costly.

But no.

No, you didn't want to spend any money on the problem. No, you didn't want to even acknowledge that the problem was real! Instead it was a hoax, it was blue politics, it was a fraud, a sham, a ploy by communists to turn us all into Birkenstock-wearing, tree-hugging, Quorn-eating, long-haired hippies.

Or even better, your Invisible Sky Fairy and his Magical Comeback Kid were going to come down from the sky and kiss it better.

So you'll have to excuse those of us who are leaving those "heat belt" states, when we start laughing our butts off and denying you federal aid.

It is a currency.

It is not an investment product. It gets treated like one, but it's not supposed to be. That's not it's function.

It is meant to be exchanged for goods and services. Yes, it will have some value, as all fiat currency does, because it's meant to have value. But it is not supposed to be sitting in a hard drive.

The whole fraud and scheme aspect of ALL cryptocurrencies stems from that one problem: nobody wants to use their currency.

What might be an interesting way to solve this problem, is to add a timer function to the blockchain, where each coin starts to depreciate after it's generated, and the only way to rejuvenate it's value is to spend it. So long as it keeps moving, it's value will be retained. Anyone hoarding it will lose money.

There is a machine sitting in a room.

That machine has all kinds of signs, warnings, labels, flashing lights, loud klaxxons, beepers, buzzers and whoopers. The moment you come within 10 feet, the lights start flashing. A little closer, the buzzers go off. Closer, and the klaxxons go off in the whole building.

All around the machine are blood spatters, bits of rotting flesh, shreds of clothing, and a few formerly internal and now distressingly external organs, as well as thick clouds of flies, and seething mats of squirming maggots.

Inside the machine is $100,000,000. In order to get the money, you have to stick your hand in the machine. You have a 10% chance of successfully getting the money, a 40% chance of getting nothing and being unharmed, and a 50% chance of having the machine grab you and reduce you to giblets.

Not too bad, right?

Well, if your luck fails, then everyone in the building shares your fate, and gets shredded to giblets.

Hence the reason for all the alarms, buzzers, lights and klaxxons. If some idiot is stupid enough to have a go, then at least everyone else in the building has the opportunity to either run for it, or better yet, run to the room and beat the tar out of the idiot who's putting everyone at risk.

That's the logic here: make it far too expensive and destructive to be a bad actor. Make the consequences so horrific, that *everyone* in the company is highly motivated to report bad actors the moment they find them. If everyone is going to lose their job, because the head of accounting decided to sign people up for expensive accounts without their knowledge, then everyone is going to make it their business to know about it. And the incentive to report them right away is very high.

Now, it's reasonable to say this kind of punishment regimen doesn't work for things like assault, murder or other associated crimes of passion, so it won't work here? But theft is not a crime of passion. And corporate wrongdoing is nothing at all like a psychological problem like kleptomania. Corporate wrongdoing is entirely calculated and premeditated. Those involved and making the money know exactly what they are doing, and what the penalties are, but the dollar signs in their eyes are bigger than the paddle.

Right now, the logic is geared in the opposite direction.

Your chances of getting caught are low, your chances of being prosecuted are even lower, and the chances of an actual conviction are lower than that. But the rewards of being a greedy little turd are ridiculously high, as are the rewards of having others join in, rather than report you.

The problem is that it's simply more profitable to screw people over, than it is to not screw them over. Corporate tort reform and caps on penalties means the justice system has no teeth.

I have never been a fan of tort reform. We need to change things up a bit.

You want to settle out of court? Okay. But you have to agree to pay 50% more than you would have faced in court. Hush money should be expensive. And you can't declare Chapter 11 or 13. Pay up or your company goes into plain old bankruptcy, and it gets chopped up and the pieces get tossed into the market to pay off your debts and obligations, and your investors get whatever is left.

You want to take it to court? Okay. But the penalties should be tied to the profits of the company in question. You made 5.2 billion this year? Well, you made that money while engaging in wrong-doing. Therefore that entire year of profits is forfeit. And you still have to pay taxes on it, too.

Oh, and just one more thing?

When you lose the case, the company should pay the full amount right up front. The accountants should be in the courtroom, ready to transfer the money. If you want to appeal, then the money gets transferred to an escrow.

The bottom line is that the company is required to fork over the money right then and there. If they win the appeal, then it can be given back. But in the meantime, the existing leadership and board of directors can be exsanguinated by the investors for costing them so much money.

Have you ever grabbed a spark plug wire while the engine was running? Or being cranked?

Most people will only do it once.

Not because it's harmful, but because it grabs ahold of one entire side of your body and snaps you like a bullwhip. After you stop doing the tippy-taps dance, you take a breath and go grab the insulated pliers like you should have the first time.

Some people are slow learners, and they might even do it a second or third time, but almost never a fourth.

If you do that with plasma wires, there isn't going to be a next time.

That just eliminated all remote workers.

Guess everyone is going to have to bring work back to their respective countries?

Or do you think the "big fish" will be granted an exception.

It's helped me to lose a lot of weight, and has greatly improved my overall health!

But it also means I fart like a cow in heat.

And due to some slight complications during recovery, I developed an anal fissure, and needed a sphincterotomy. Consequently, my farts no longer sound normal. Instead of the blase midline treble and pitiful bass, my backside now produces the black-tarred glutterings of an angry Servitor of the Outer Gods.

And I intend to share my Chthonian Paeans of Darkness and Despair with everyone in the office.

And if management complains, then I'll point out that because of the surgery that saved my life, I no longer have control over such things.

...my responses are limited. You must ask the right question.

- Dr. Alfred Lanning
Co-founder US Robotics
"I, Robot (2004)"

I've had gastric bypass surgery, and my remaining bowels have become a miasmal generator of cthonian proportions.

Between the friable glubberings and the unholy stench, I should be able to convince management that working from home is in all of our best interests.