I'm not sure Javascript is literally Turing complete, because it can't simulate an infinite tape. I think its expressive power is, technically speaking, that of a linear bounded automaton (LBA). Which is subtly less powerful than a Turing machine.

Anyone who lives for this topic want to weigh in?

I used it in my PhD thesis work. It was a productive language, just not a fun one.

For fun, I still get the biggest kick out of pure functional languages. It's nice to see that job advertisements for them seem to be on the uptick.

But in your perfect world, would we even need cops?

I think you're talking about the ~535 traitors who comprise Congress, but refuse to impeach an out-of-control President.

Exactly whom will you behead, when probably 30%+ of Americans consider the NSA's actions appropriate?

Our country is deeply and closely divided on tons of issues right now. I shudder to think how many of us would sign off on killing everyone in the opposing group.

Not sure I totally agree. The CIA isn't being morally neutral when they torture people. The FBI wasn't morally neutral when they went after Nixon's / Hoover's political enemies. The NSA wasn't morally neutral when they repeatedly ignored the Bill of Rights. Local police officers aren't morally neutral when they form a Wall of Blue. None of them is morally neutral when they lie on the stand.

Now if none of them did these things, you're right, they'd be a lot closer to morally neutral. But the fact they that sometimes do do these things is I think a big reason they're hated and feared by average citizens.

Something seems really, really off kilter if so many of us see the federal government's law enforcement agencies as the enemy.

There are so many good things that they're supposedly in the business to do: go after child porn producers, rapists, murderers, (actual) terrorists, etc.

It's stunning that through their tactics (both in the courtrooms and out) and some of the unjust laws they have to enforce, they could actually be viewed as the enemy by a large portion of the public.

This doesn't feel remotely like a healthy democracy.

Paper exists for a reason, people.

Can you imaging 10 people with tablets in a room? The sound of hammers and chisels would be deafening! You couldn't hear anyone speak.

I guess you'd need to watch the movie Undercover Brother. Its mayonnaise scene scarred me for life.

And, the idea of uncooked egg still creeps me out, to be honest.

Mayonnaise is also one of earth's nastiest substances - it's like the love-child of white phosphorous, Ebola, and that "Leave Brittany Alone" emo guy.

Mayonnaise is also an emulsion. Now my plans can begin in earnest.

If a random person can screw you over that badly I knew that companies would stop even asking for lube.

Well, not to be pedantic, but I'm not... sure... the goatse guy really needed lube. I mean, well, he was just so dilated.

I'm sorry. I felt it needed to be said.

Because in my circles, it's the smart people who don't trust the Internet.

Yeah, like we're going to believe that you actually use Google Plus.

And people who live on flood plains pay extra for flood insurance. If you don't like the consequences of where you live, move.

Customers: Please don't!

FTC: Hmm, the customers seem vocal about this one.

Time Warner/Comcast to FTC: Don't you dare...

FTC: We'll need to study the issue.

(One U.S. election cycle passes)

New FTC Head: What's good for Time Warner/Comcast is good for America! Full steam ahead, job-producers!

If you don't like ransom notes (which perl programs may become over time)

Wait... I thought Perl was the actual threat.