eno2001's Journal: IDIOTS: Outing the Idiots of the World

So. Yesterday morning I'm walking to work. I get to the intersection of two major roads. The lights change and I get my "WALK" sign. As I start crossing the crosswalk, this stupid woman in a white SUV begins to make a left turn from the adjacent street onto the street I'm crossing. If she didn't stop, she would have hit me. But as it is, she's blocking traffic on the street she's turning from by being halfway in the crosswalk and directly in the path of oncoming traffic. I've seen this happen fairly often at this intersection. Now for one thing, the pedestrians (ie. me in this case) have the right of way when the crosswalk sign says "WALK". The second thing, if you're making a left turn you should wait for all the oncoming traffic to pass by first. So we can gather that this woman is an idiot.

I lost it. I couldn't take it anymore. I'd had enough of this kind of behavior. I stopped directly in front of her vehicle and pointed at her to get her attention (as if she didn't already see me in the cross walk). Then I did a Ted Knight (Judge Smails) snarky smile and illustrated the crosswalk I was on with my hands in game show presenter fashion. Then I held up my middle finger for a good ten or fifteen seconds. All of this happened within eye shot of the traffic cops who were on the corner just before I crossed (they probably didn't notice). Then I went on my merry way. Did it help? Well, she's probably still an idiot, but I felt a whole lot better. :)

So after giving it some thought, I decided that I'm going to take a new approach to the idiot drivers who almost cream pedestrians downtown. Here's the plan:

1. I'm getting a sign to carry disguised as a folder that will say: "You're an asshole driver. I'm taking your picture right now. The picture will be posted on http://www.youreanasshole.com (or whatever domain I come up with that's available UPDATE: that domain is being squatted on... UPDATE2: domain was misspelled... thanks to the FPer for noticing. You grammar nazi you. ;) ) for my viewing pleasure. Have a nice day dickhead".
2. I'll arm my cell phone camera before walking to/from work
3. Let the fireworks begin

Comments? Suggestions?

youranasshole.com

[HTH NE1]

1. I'm getting a sign to carry disguised as a folder that will say: "You're an asshole driver. I'm taking your picture right now. The picture will be posted on http://www.youranasshole.com/ [youranasshole.com] (or whatever domain I come up with that's available UPDATE: that domain is being squatted on...) for my viewing pleasure. Have a nice day dickhead".

Have you considered getting the more(*) correctly spelled version, youreanasshole.com ?

(*) considering that apostrophes aren't permitted

Re:

[eno2001]

Thanks. Good point.

Similar Siutation

[Shadow Wrought]

A former co-worker was confronted by a similar situation, only the SUV stopped within a foot or two of him. So he (not so) calmly jumped on the hood and started yelling at the driver through the windshield. While I don't necessarily recommend that particular course of action, I have no doubts that the SUV driver remembers it;-)

Re:

[eno2001]

Well another time in the past I slammed on the hood of someone who was within a foot of me. I pulled the "New Yorker": "Hey!!! What's the mattah wit you idiot!? Can't you see I'm walkin' here"!!! I was so tempted to do this to her as well. But I'm a little older than when I pulled that one.

Re:

[Shadow Wrought]

I totally forgot about this, but whilst in college a car drove right in front of us as we crossed the street.
So I kicked his car.

Since the driver didn't just cut us off, but totally didn't see us, he pulled over and started looking over his car to see if it had hit something or was damaged. Watching him check out his car for several minutes was quite entertaining;-)

Re:

[nizo]

Maybe a bunch of notes and a handy ballpeen hammer for "attaching" the notes to the hood would work?

Speaking of which, I need to start foeing people over here, so they will go reply to my stuff on multiply instead :-D

Re:

[jci]

I was out on Manhattan and got to bang two hoods and three fenders on my journey from Times Square to the Museum of Modern Art.

Only three of them were taxis!

I've also been merged and turned into while on bicycle on the west coast. I could feel my adrenal glands squeezing to complete empty from the two times cycling. The NY walking thing I more or less expected.

Go go go

[Captain Splendid]

Speaking as someone who actually got run over at a crosswalk, great idea.

why not include people who can't count ...

[tomhudson]

... you know - the ones who get in the 8 items or less line with 20 items? They're just as deserving.

On a folder?

[iminplaya]

"You're an asshole driver. I'm taking your picture right now. The picture will be posted on http://www.youreanasshole.com/ [youreanasshole.com] (or whatever domain I come up with that's available UPDATE: that domain is being squatted on... UPDATE2: domain was misspelled... thanks to the FPer for noticing. You grammar nazi you. ;) ) for my viewing pleasure. Have a nice day dickhead".

You might need a billboard for all that :-) Or one one those electronic scrolling signs might be cool. If (s)he has the FM radio on(fat chance these