spun's Journal: Joke of the day

(Don't blame me, they started it.)

A small town gets a new bell and bell tower for their church, and so the pastor needs to hire someone to ring it. He puts some fliers around town, and waits for applicants, but no one shows up. Finally one Saturday he hears a knock at the door. Opening it, he finds a guy with no arms, who says, "Father, it's always been my dream to ring bells, but I lost both my arms in the war. Please, Father, can you give me a chance? I kow I can find a way to do it!" The pastor decides to let him try, and the go into the bell tower, past the bell pull and up to the top, where the guy squares off in front of the bell. He runs and dives into it face first. Bong! Getting up, face all bloody, he staggers back and leaps at the bell again. Bong! Now the pastor is aghast and the guy is barely conscious, but he gets up and leaps again, misses the bell completely, flies over the edge and plummets to his death. The pastor runs downstairs where a crowd is gathered around. They ask him, "Father, did you know this man?" And he says, "No, but his face sure rings a bell."

So the pastor still doesn't have a bell ringer. He puts more fliers out, and waits. Finally there's a knock at the door, and who should it be but another guy with no arms. The guy says, "Father, me and my brother served in the war together, we both lost our arms in the same fight. He always wanted to ring bells. As we were lying, armless, in that bloody foxhole, he made me promise that if he died, I'd ring bells for him. So I have to give it a try. The pastor says, "okay, but just don't use your face." So they go into the bell tower, past the bell pull, and up to the top. The guy squares off with the bell and gives it a mighty kick. Bong! The pastor looks pleased. The guys kicks again. Bong! But the bell swings back and knocks him off the bell tower and he plummets to his death. Horrified, the pastor runs down where a crowd has gathered round and they ask him, "Father, did you know this man?" And he says, "No, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

Nice

[nizo]

I am laughing and I hate you, all at the same time :-)

Re:

[spun]

Just be thankful I didn't include the other two punchlines. They're so bad I must have blocked them from memory, and google only returns the first two punchlines, along with various people wondering what the other two were. I guess everyone has blocked them from memory.

Looking for the other 2 punchlines, I found this:

[spun]

So George is doing yet another photo op at an elementary school, and this one's been going pretty well, so he offers to take questions. A little boy raises his hand.

"Okay, you," says George, smiling. "What's your name?"

"Billy."

"Billy. And what's your question?"

"I have three questions," Billy says. "First, why did you go to war without UN approval? Second, why are you president when Gore got more votes? Third, where's Osama bin Laden?"

George is taken aback. "Uh, those are really hard questions," he says.

Just

I did not think...

[Billosaur]

...I would be able to laugh today. Too funny.