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Journal KshGoddess's Journal: It could be... 22

We've all, by now, seen the saying that "it could by that the purpose of your life is to be a warning to others."

Yesterday, I experienced another, related truth. "it could be that the purpose of your child is to be birth control to the rest of the population".

I flew yesterday, for 3 hours, with a 4-year-old named Max kicking my goddamn seat and shrieking in the way that only children can. For. Three. Hours.

His mother demanded no respect from him, and got none. He continued to shriek, make noise, complain, and ask for his mommy. Who was right there next to him. She gave him "his pills" at the beginning of the flight... wait, let me back up.

We were checking our bags, and the terror and his mom were behind us. She was checking his stroller. He was rolling around on the floor and dragging his Thomas the Tank Engine bag. She threatened a "time out" and he paid about half a wit of attention, yelled something about hating her, and 'you're hurting me' (although she wasn't close enough to TOUCH him, much less hurt him), and walked closer.

Sidenote: Checking our bags actually was more difficult because there was an old lady in front of the kiosk trying to figure out how a 3-hour flight can take off at 5, and get to denver at 6, and desperately needed to know this information.

So, we went through security (surprisingly easily) and found our gate. There was food near it, and we ate lunch (i guess, as it was 4pm and the 2nd meal of the day) while waiting for boarding. We didn't see Max or his mother, and we got on the airplane, thinking we had dodged that bullet.

Max's mom (and max) got on the plane next to last, and sat behind us. Max immediately began to squeal as his mom had taken his Thomas bag and put it in the overhead bin. She gave him "his pills" and we took off shortly afterward. Almost immediately as we got to cruising altitude, I started feeling my seat being kicked by 4-year-old feet. "I'm sure that man"-- she called me a man, which just makes me fucking happy as all hell --"doesn't want to be kicked, Max." Which stopped him for 10 seconds.

She had NO control of this kid, no respect from him. She continually asked him things, and threatened punishment (but not real punishment, "time out"). But if you threaten something you'll never deliver, you'll get NO response from the kid.

I later likened her treatment of the kid to the way you treat a dog; dogs need to know their place in the pack. They need to have structure, and need to know someone's in charge, or they'll make themselves the alpha, and nothing you ever say or do will make the dog behave.

So, 3 hours of shrieking and seat-kicking later, the mom apologizes as we're getting off the plane. "I tried to get him to stop kicking your seat, he's just willful" and "He behaves for other people" and "No, max, you can't crawl under the seats to get out" and "He's so resourceful" and "He was such a good baby, and now he just acts out all the time".

I was about to say I can't imagine what would've happened if I'd have acted like that as a kid, but I know. I'd have been taken into the bathroom, spanked, and returned to my seat. And it wouldn't have happened again.

I'm not advocating beating kids (although I wanted to kill that one yesterday), I just think that kids need to have discipline. Sometimes, all it takes is one spanking to make a kid realize there are consequences.

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It could be...

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  • If I struck my son on the rear in a grocery store, I'd be deathly afraid, for the rest of my shopping experience, that someone called child welfare. That's our society now-a-days. My son could be horrendous every minute of the day, and when he finally drives me to punish him to the utmost of my ability, I have to ensure its behind close doors, or some dirty hippy will call me a bad parent.

    Don't get me wrong, I don't beat my child, but he does need to understand where bounds are and what will happen when
    • Well said - and besides, as long you're consistent with disciplining your kids, it only takes a handful of spankings before even the threat of it gets their attention right away. I've got three kids (4, 4, and 3) and each have been spanked maybe three or four times. Now, just starting the count of "1... 2..." gets them straightened out right away.

      I remember the first time I spanked my daughter, though - I wasn't sure how hard to do it, so I pulled her over my knee, and gave three quick swats to her butt.
      • I thought my son was resistent to pain. Back when he was three, I used to really have to put some mustard on my swats. But, as you said, I've only really given him one on the rear about 4-6 times. I've slapped his hands a few times, also (like to prevent him from touching the stove after he wouldn't listen and heed my warnings, etc...)
    • Luckily, he's learned everything with little 'capital' punishment...

      I think the death penalty is a bit much, especially more than once. ;)

      On a related note, my mother did daycare is Southern California some twenty years ago. During an afternoon concert or some such presentation, she had a few daycare kids with her, and one of the younger ones began to make noise. My mother put her hand over the child's mouth to keep him from disrupting the event. He quieted down in a few seconds.

      Someone called DHS because o
  • But if you threaten something you'll never deliver, you'll get NO response from the kid.

    You only WISH this were the case. This WILL ellicit a response from the kid. The response will be one of contempt. And perhaps, a desire to poke you to see how red you'll turn.

    Spot on about kids needing to know their place in the "pack", though.
  • Other peoples kids sure keep ME childless. For example, the other day, this child was just... well, my command of the english language fails any attempt to properly describe, but from the SHRIEKS this one was coming up with... it sounded like it's mother was simultaneously lodging bamboo shoots under its nails and administering a hot lead enema. I have NEVER heard such a horrific wailing. Little Damien, that kid must be.

    I found the scene strangely amusing, actually. It brought a smile to my face. "Ah,
  • ...there had been a valium amongst his "pills."
  • She was checking his stroller

    What 4-year-old needs a stroller? Even for loooong walks? They can walk a parents' legs off any day. If you don't believe it, play with one.

    This is as retarded as 4-year-olds in diapers.

    Yes, the parents are to blame.

  • I would make a scene if that happened. Embarrass the clearly clueless parent. I would demand to be reseated, and if there are no other seats, demand that the flight attendant order the parent to take the child to the back until he calms down.

    Barring containerization, this is the best we can do about small children on planes. :-)

  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • Thank you for being a responsible parent.

      The lady sitting beside me (ben had the window, I got the middle seat, she was in the aisle seat) was sitting across the aisle from her well-behaved 8-year-old. Please and thank you, spent most of the time coloring his 'color-by-numbers' picture, etc.

      The little bastard behind us was just the anti-well-behaved kid.
  • That would be Dr Spock, Child Behavior Specialist, extraordinaire.

    The stupid git. Everything he said was wrong.

    Society is crumbling, and it's all HIS fault. Ain't that right, MAX?!?
    • rofl

      it's all the touchy-feely can't-hurt-anyone's-feelings shit that's bringing our society to its knees. The "Everyone's a winner for participating!" bullshit just makes me want to bitchslap people. And people wonder why kids are diagnosed heavily with ADHD. It's because they don't get discipline at home or at school.

      I remember that every elementary school I went to had a paddle in the principal's office. Parents signed a form agreeing that a paddling can occur if their kid breaks the rules. Can you imagin
      • And people wonder why kids are diagnosed heavily with ADHD.

        Don't get me started on this path. Neither of us have that kind of time. Suffice it to say that I think it's a Bad Move(tm) to default to giving drugs like Ritalin to kids, just because they don't behave the way Society wants them to.

        I remember that every elementary school I went to had a paddle in the principal's office.

        I remember the same thing. One (public) school I went to in Utica, NY had a policy of sending the misbehaving child to the offi

        • Suffice it to say that I think it's a Bad Move(tm) to default to giving drugs like Ritalin to kids, just because they don't behave the way Society wants them to.

          Amen. If the kids had structure at home, they'd be less wild everywhere.



          I was a good kid, but I knew some of my classmates went down the hall for a paddlin'. They'd come back after a talking-to and a paddling, and no one would care about their FEEELINGS.

  • had a parent of my patient help reduce the child's nervous energy by having him jog in place.

    Yea, made me smile and I could tell that this was not the first time Mom had used this technique.

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man. -- James Blish

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