dexterpexter's Journal: On 'Real Jobs'

Hello everyone. How are you? I am great. I also have a lot to say, so if you aren't looking to read a lot, I suggest you skim through the subject headings for just those things that interest you, or skip this entry entirely. This entry is several pages long (four, I believe, actually) and so I apologize for the length; were this livejournal I would have used the cut feature.

TOPIC: They Clean Up My Messes and Call Me Sir (or Ma'am)

First, I want you to click here and think about that image for a moment.

Background
Technolust recently wrote an entry about a young woman friend who is having relationship woes. As I understood the entry, the short of it is that she and her boyfriend were unable to reach each other, and she protested that she cannot accept phone calls at work, to which he replied "It's not like you have a real job." The young woman is a waitress. Well, in good Slashdot fashion where we like to be contrary, the contrasting position was that she, in fact, does not have a real job. This happens to be something about which I mostly disagree. Not wanting to miss out on the contrariness, I wrote out this long reply, and must admit that I got rather nasty, and fully intended to make rare use of that Anonymous Coward button...to fortunately be stopped by Technolust's judicious use of the "Friends Only" option. Pausing to reconsider, I thought it better to write my thoughts down here, less sharp in tone, and sign my name to it.

They Do Everything But Wipe Your Butt
I believe that someone that cleans your nasty dishes, clears your children's snotty napkins from the table, clears your cold-germ-infested forks and spoons, vacuums from the carpet the food you just dropped, takes every demand a customer makes with a smile, fills up your cup before you even finish, and deals with being treated as though they don't have a "real job," and they do these things with hardly a complaint (at least, in front of the customers), has a real job. Hopefully, most of us exhibit better table manners than this in a restaurant, but in reality, a lot of people don't. I watch kids who make absolute messes of tables with toppled drinks, dropped food, and who scream bloody murder, and the parents will get up without tidying anything and leave hardly a tip for what was better service than they deserve. I see people who act as though they had a silver spoon protruding from their asses, looking down their nose on a hard-working tax-paying person. It bothers me.

I am Terrible
I am going to admit right now, that I am a bit hypocritical in this...I know what is right, but that doesn't mean that I haven't thought or done the same as these people I am admonishing. Just the other day, I was mildly inconvenienced by some gentlemen who worked jobs very important to what I intended to carry out, but happened to also be a job that doesn't require the same credentials as that of others I was dealing with, and although they were doing a fine job, I called them "idiots" when referring to them out of earshot. I could make excuses about having a bad day and whatnot, but there really is no excuse. The truth is that they walked in, I made an assessment of them based on my perception of pecking order, and so they weren't worthy. I transformed them, in my mind and to the others with whom I spoke, into uneducated, incapable dolts we should pity. I am sure that my attitude unintentionally showed through when I dealt with them, too. And yet I was happily accepting their capable services, and would have been even more inconvenienced in the future without them. I was very wrong in my attitude, but it was there nonetheless. I should be ashamed, and those who try to tell someone who just came off a 12 hour shift waiting tables that they don't have a job should be ashamed as well.

Not Everyone WANTS to be an Astronaut When They Grow Up
Remember that image I asked you to look at? Most people probably don't grow up dreaming of making the food or drink service industry their career, and most people probably won't make it their career. It is also true that a lot of sixteen year olds use the industry as a springing board for what we perceive as bigger and better things. It is also true that most of us ("overqualifications" forgiven) could get hired into a food service position somewhere. But not everyone can be good at it, and some people do make it into their career. It is what they are good at, and what they want to do. Where do we get off telling them it isn't a real job? Not everyone has the fortune, education, and/or personality to end up in a high-paying executive position. Many people wouldn't want to. Some people, through poor decisions in their youth, may be relegated to waiting tables for a living, and dislike it intensely and yet never do a thing about it. I think this is how many of us incorrectly perceive adults who hold these jobs. However, we should remember that some people made these plans because waiting tables was what they were happy doing. Consider also that there are the highly-educated people who choose to work these positions regardless of what you or I think--I know of one technology-oriented masters graduate who put off some lucrative offers because he wanted to learn to be a bartender while serving drinks.
No, not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up. But you know what? Not only can't everyone be an astronaut, but not everyone wants to be an astronaut. Should they expect to be paid the same as an astronaut to serve drinks to people on the weekends? Of course not.

Like It or Not, You Probably Benefit When Someone Takes a Minimum Wage Job
It is to your advantage that not everyone in this world "Gets to be an Astronaut." We can argue about class systems all we want (and I am sure we will), but for those of you in the middle sixty percent of the workforce, and especially those of you in the upper twenty percent of the workforce in terms of jobs and salary, remember that the world continues to turn because of that other, lower 20%, who bust their tails to make your life more convenient, who may work even harder than you in a day (some of the highest paying jobs in this world are only so because of the stress or exclusivity...but often involve work that, frankly, could eventually be taught to more people than those that currently hold those jobs...medicine and such professions excepted), yet accept minimum wage for what they do. If everyone had what it took to be in the upper 20%, it still wouldn't be a luxurious utopia. The economy doesn't work so that everyone would make $100k a year and prices would remain the same. You stand in the upper middle class or the upper class because someone in the lower class took the job that they did, and you have profited from it indirectly. Keep in mind that everyone being rich is just the same as everyone being poor (to today's standards.) Just because someone makes less than you doesn't mean that they mean less than you, either. In so many cases, they are the wheels that run the car and allow you to be the driver. Appreciate that. Without them, you'd be stuck on the side of the road, dumbfounded as to why it isn't as easy to get from point A to point B as it was when you had your wheels.

Perceptions: Idiots Versus Experts
A lot of people who go into high paying programming jobs work through college or high school by manning help desks. This is their "temporary job." When it is your friend here on Slashdot who works that position as their career, we crown them technical gurus who provide a real service for their companies whose stupid engineers make messes that they have to craftily fix by helping their unappreciative customers reboot their machines. When that tech person is the unknown person that we, the unappreciative customers, are dealing with on the phone (who, through no fault of their own, might not have been properly trained, or who really do know better than you think that you do), they are deemed "idiots" who "couldn't get a real job" or "couldn't cut it to be management and didn't bother getting engineering degrees." When the "stupid engineers" who make the messes for these companies are our friends, they are "highly technical people with a real gift for design." It is all perception.
When our friends take a job waiting tables, be it as something temporary between jobs or as a career, they are making a life for themselves, doing something respectable instead of going after "free money" or crashing in their parents' basements for life. When it is an unknown thirty-something waiting our table or someone we don't like, they cleaning our messes and calling us sir, they are somewhat of a joke to us...they "don't have a real job."

They Aren't Unemployed
People who don't have real jobs are unemployed. Waiters are employed. Waiters pay their taxes on the scrapings they make (although some do make good money. Some do, some don't.) This might be bitterness at my disapproval of someone's life choices, but I have to say it: at least they aren't sucking off of the government teat.
I think it's a fine job for what it is, albeit definitely not a path to getting rich and living in the lap of luxury. There are plenty of single, unemployed people I would like to see go get a job serving food. I have far too many acquaintances who have the attitude that they can't get a job, and fall into real financial hardship as a result. They buy into the attitude of real job versus greasy-faced teenager job, and then their only real accomplishment ends up being their ability to stand in line for welfare, vote to tax me more because of the choices I made, and complain about a slow economy. They have bought into the idea that the only real job is one that pays lots of money or has an office setting.

Other Historically Disrespected Jobs
Some people don't find the work their garbageman or plumber does (even though, odds are those people make more than many in society ever will) a very "respectable job," either. Nor do they appreciate the work of their "grease monkey" mechanics (but sure enough, when they are too lazy to change their oil themselves, they pop in line and hand over their cash to someone who will.) Nor do they respect the work of the secretary who slaves to an idiot boss with "a real job" who shovels all of the "real work" off onto her and pays her 1/4 of what she's worth.

I have heard the "not a real job" comment in reference to food service people from someone I perceive to be a "fulltime motherhood is a real job!" club member. What are your thoughts on this particular case?

In the Case of Technolust's Friend
In the particular case of Technolust's friend, I think it fortunate that the boyfriend is so open about his thoughts, so perhaps she can evaluate if she can be happy with someone who thinks so poorly of her chosen line of work. Perhaps she was being dramatic and could have indeed called him back, but that is something that you and I don't know. I also have to wonder what sort of job that he has. I admit to being curious, but whatever choices they make is none of our business; my opinion is that this slip-up is fortunate in that she knows his thoughts, and if they prove incompatible, they can both do each other a favor and end the relationship before investing too much into it. They just happened to provide a platform off which to launch a rant that has been boiling for quite some time now.

Conclusion
Serving tables probably isn't on the list of most people's most highly coveted jobs, but no one should put down someone coming off of a 12 hour shift who has made that their career, especially those who don't have jobs themselves. I am young and maybe I am more attached to the lessons of my parents and their parents' generation than some, but I was taught that just because I wouldn't want to do a job, does not mean that the person doing that job is "stuck" doing that job. Some people wait tables for a career because that is what they are good at, and it is what they want to do. If it takes not answering their cell phone to keep their job, then why ask them to do so? And for those who don't want to make it their careers, but have taken those jobs, I believe that sometimes you just "suck it up and do what you must to get by," looking for a brighter tomorrow. I know one or two of you here can appreciate that sentiment, as I know a few of you with children who found themselves on the unfortunate end of layoffs during a slow economy, and did just that. I also don't think most of us would have the gall to tell any one of them that what they were doing wasn't a respectable job, when it put food on their children's table. And for those who have made certain choices and are "stuck" doing this job that they dislike, reflect for a moment all of the fortunes you have had and look at this poster once more, less with humor and more with the serious message that it carries:

http://www.despair.com/potential.html

As long as they are working hard, contributing to society, and paying their taxes, then they have earned respect.

Who are we to look down on them?

Disclaimer: I have never worked in the food service industry in any capacity.

Hmmm...

[Otter]

The young woman is a waitress. Well, in good Slashdot fashion where we like to be contrary, the contrasting position was that she, in fact, does not have a real job.

I get paid to dither around all day until I get an idea for something that would be exciting to do. I frequently question whether *I* have a real job; it never occurred to me that anyone would think a waitress doesn't.

i agree

[subgeek]

the concept of something being "a real job" really needs to be judged on a case by case basis. the only time i think it *might* be appropriate is if the person is too lazy or is just plain unwilling to pursue what they want in life. without being involved in anyone particular's lives, it's a very difficult call to make.

i don't work in food service and never have, but i've worked in some service related positions. they can be really thankless at times. the thing that makes it worse is that it's not even

Re:i agree

[dexterpexter]

he concept of something being "a real job" really needs to be judged on a case by case basis.

I think you've hit on something there. For some, "real job" doesn't really mean whether or not something is literally a job or not a job, but has been accepted by some to mean "something permanent versus something temporary." So, for them, their idea of a "real job" is entirely up to their perception of what they're doing; I would say that I have had jobs that weren't "real jobs" in the informal sense of the ter

Re:i agree

[dominator2010]

I was thinking of what to write as I was looking through the other comments, then came across this one. I did want to tell you I think what you wrote was well put and I would agree with what you've said.

I have worked in the fast food industry and have had friends that did waitressing. They are very much real jobs. Then I was thinking of how I'm really glad to not be apart of it anymore, but I do my best to make it pleasant for the person on the otherside. My father would get so upset over an order that w

Bravo

[leoPetr]

*claps*

An excellent analysis of the situation, Dexter. I have nothing to add.:)

(*has worked in food service*)

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

2 jobs

[denidoom]

A lot of people who work in service also have 2 jobs in order to make end's meet. Suggested reading: "Nickel and Dimed, On (Not) Getting By in America ..." by Barbara Ehrenreich. http://www.henryholt.com/holt/nickelanddimed.htm [henryholt.com] Thank you for writing this in your journal. It was well said!