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Journal bellus quies's Journal: Glass Half Empty 11

Journal by bellus quies

I admit it, I've been a bit depressed lately. I've found it hard to be happy about things and have been coasting through my days apathetically.

I'm bored silly at my job and can't wait to get out and go home.
But...
I'm not really happy to go home after work because I can't just sit back and relax. I have to worry about the puppy. Wondering what bodily secretion I'll have to clean up this time. I'm not looking forward to the dog greeting me because I don't like it when dogs jump up on me or lick my face. Lately I've defaulted to taking the dog to the dog park because the dog gets out all it's energy and I can read or talk on my cell. I don't like being on edge all the time at home having to keep an eye out for signs that the puppy needs to go outside to pee.

I want to just be able to go home and relax and not have to worry about anything but perhaps getting some laundry done or what to make for dinner. And it's a bit cramped in the apartment now having to deal with a puppy and said puppy's crate.

But the dog seems perfect fro my boyfriend. It totally fits his personality. And he's bragged about the dog to everyone he knows that I feel bad having my doubts about if I am a dog person or not.

Especially in cases where I take the dog to the airport after the puppy park to pick up my boyfriend from a business trip, because I know he'll be excited to see the puppy. then I end up needing to move his arm, because he's got his arm around the dog and not around me. I even brought up this concern before we got the dog, that it seems that he's more comfortable giving affection to dogs than he is to me. I even noticed it with his family's dog, that he's OK with the dog sitting on the couch with it's head in his lap. But he feels stifled when I want to cuddle with him on the couch.

Now this weekend his younger sister is visiting. And I'm really not too optimistic about the weekend. Mainly because the last interaction with her I had was of her telling me off when I asked her advice on how to deal with BF's best friend and mentioned that I thought he had aspergers. And then a couple of days later her calling my boyfriend and telling him off for letting me assume that the friend had aspergers, venting at my boyfriend so much that she made him tear up a bit. So ya, not looking forward to someone confrontational to me and my boyfriend like that.

And of course not looking forward to having to possibly deal with the BF's best friend this weekend because he always pops up when my BF's family is around. Because I haven't really interacted with him since I tried to take him for drinks to get over the awkwardness and he lied to me saying that he was busy. Ya too busy that he hung out with my boyfriend and his family all that weekend.

I'm not really looking forward to much. Except for my dad coming down to visit in April. That will be fun and he hasn't had a vacation in such a long time.

So what am I doing to try and get over this pessimistic slump. Well, I'm currently trying to find a therapist to talk to and try and work things out.

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Glass Half Empty More

Glass Half Empty

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  • I think finding a therapist to talk with is a very good thing and would encourage it. As for the BF... Well from your JEs it seems like you are the one who is changing yourself to be with your BF while your BF is not doing any changing to be with you. So long term, you just have to much passion and brilliance to be doing all the changing and growth. But, again, that's my $.02...
  • I like dogs a lot. But, in general, I do not want to have a dog. I know how much work they are, from being the one that did most of it. It's something that you don't really appreciate until you have a dog - and get stuck with most of the work. And then there was the fact that my ex treated the dog better than anyone else in the family...

    As for the other issues, well, it seems like you have the notion of a partnership, but your boyfriend does not. Or he does not have the same notion that you do. If yo
    • I've tried talking to my boyfriend about the dog and he just asks me to imagine if the dog was housetrained and then what would my concerns be then. And then i'm at a loss for words because the house training is the largest concern.
      • Well, some dogs never get it completely. And who is actually doing the housetraining?

        The lack of housetraining masks the other issues. Vacuuming more because of the dog hair. Walking the dog. Brushing the dog. Washing the dog. Feeding the dog. Having to be home to let the dog out. Dealing with the dog when it gets sick. Fleas, ticks, worms. Things the dog decides to chew on. A dog is a commitment.
  • How long have you two been together?

    Pix
  • Dear Beautiful Dreamer,

    dear dreamer of wonderful dreams and woman who dreams beautifully,

    dear smart, silly, funny, quirky, observant, sensitive, considerate woman of a hundred talents and a thousand enthusiasms who so many men would be delighted to be with,

    dear friend who has had a tough time of it, fought to find the One Best Thing in a dozen ways, who continues to fight now through work that is less than you, a body that fights you, a background that has scarred you, and a boyfriend who certainly does

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