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Lord of the Rings

Journal dexterpexter's Journal: Marriage, or: One Crazy Friday [Updated] 43

Journal by dexterpexter

How to get married for $110.50 cash, or: One Crazy Friday

1) Come to a decision on Thursday that you are going to get married on Friday. Call and invite your parents and siblings.
2) On Friday morning, arrive at the court house. Pay $5.25 per car to park.
3) Decide that the elevator is taking too long, so take the escalators instead.
4) Surrender $50 to a disinterested civil servant type who is obviously disappointed with a buggy computer system and who is anticipating lunchtime. Complete paperwork, and then wait until the lady behind the cigar-reeking desk files everything.
5) After this is accomplished, inquire where we might locate a judge to sign our paperwork. Down the hall? Downstairs?
6) Get strange looks. "You want to be married *today*? And not by a minister??"

Yes, that would certainly coincide with our earlier answer ("Today") to the question, "And when is the marriage expected to take place?" ;)

(Note: I am not opposed to being married by a minister. However, in this state, the greater part of the churches to which anyone I trust has a connection, require one year of concentrated, in-church marital counseling, and also oblige you to pledge some very uncomfortable things to which I am unprepared to commit. I recognize that a good number of couples do not live up to these promises, but a pledge made in any church, regardless of denomination or religion, is not something that I take lightly.
Also, when you have dated the same person in a very open, honest relationship for almost 9 years, have been engaged for over a year, have worked together, and have shared a residence for part of that time, that one year of counseling doesn't sound so appealing, especially when you will have moved before it is completed.
Also, given that in 2001, a study revealed that for every 100 marriage licenses issued in this state, 76 of those end in divorce, I think that I will stick with my own means of doing things, and the peace I feel and the support I have been given in this decision encourages me that this is right for me. :)

7) Find out that your state (or at least this city) does not have any judges who are willing to sign those papers. I kid you not.
8) Give a forlorn look to the lady behind the desk, who then hands you two business cards for ministers who will sign the papers.
9) Drive to locate this "chapel," which turns out to be a couple's living room, filled with fake flowers, Christmas lights, music, candles, and pink furniture--the paper bells hanging in front of the house completed the picture. Pay $50. ("Cash. No checks, no money orders, no plastic of any kind. Just cold, hard cash.")

Marriage total cost so far: ($5.25 x 2) + $50+50 = $110.50

10) Have the cutest reverend in the world (this older gentleman who was so endearing and passionate that I almost couldn't believe he was for real) perform the unanticipated ceremony. This gentleman made any reservations I had about marrying in this setting simply disappear--he was that wonderful.
11) Take the reverend's business card to hand out to interested friends, and while shaking his hand and noticing his ring, realize that this intriguing character is also a Mason.
12) Have pictures taken in front of the paper bells, and almost literally roll on the floor laughing out loud from the absurdity of the day.
13) Go to lunch, come home, and...

14) Live happily ever after. :)

-----
EDITS/UPDATES:

-Image changed for Johndii.
-I would like to thank you all for your well wishes. I intend to thank each of you, but tonight Slashdot is forcing me to wait several minutes between posting (The Taco thinks I am a Cowboy, apparently) and so I will have to respond tomorrow, perhaps.
-To answer a few comments:

-We did not exchange rings, although I believe that we have decided that we will, once we find something that both of us like.
-I do post on /., but I tend to post on other people's journals rather than my own. I do have several text files of things I have intended to post, and never got around to, so I suppose I will have to do so shortly. This might explain why several people have unfriended me. :-/

Thank-you all once again.

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Marriage, or: One Crazy Friday [Updated] More

Marriage, or: One Crazy Friday [Updated]

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  • Excellent (Score:2)

    by Tet ( 2721 )
    While I don't in general approve of marriage, if you're going to do it, then this is definitely the way to go. The average wedding in the UK apparently blows nearly 20 grand these days (that's over US$35,000). I just don't get it. I can think of far better uses for that sort of money. Anyway, congratulations, I guess!
    • Don't feel too bad. She may have only had to pay $50, but she's now on the Illuminati's radar. Not only did she notice an odd ring, but she recognized it. I suspect either the Knights Templar or Robert Anton Wilson will be knocking on her door soon.
    • Thank-you. :)
    • I'd like to put in a voice of dissent. I think there is nothing wrong with dropping some cash to throw a big-ass party. However, you will note my conceptual distinction of "big-ass party" vs. "wedding." It is one thing to "believe the hype" and quite another to "roll like a big-dog."

  • Yay! Congratulations. Sounds like fun.
  • Best wishes for a long and happy life together. Oh, and the "Lord of the Rings" icon is a nice gold ring... :-)
    • For now, while I have an engagement ring, we have not exchanged wedding rings. I believe that we have decided to do so, but we are going to wait until we find something that we are both happy with, if we choose to do so.
      • We took a similar -- though not quite so low-key -- route. We did set a date in advance (required by law here), but other than that, it was the standard civil marriage ceremony -- sign the contract, kiss 'er and you're done. While we did dress up a little, BoE didn't wear a dress (she wore a grey skirt-suit) and I wore a black-and-grey suit, not a tux.

        We did exchange rings, but they are simple gold bands. (I actually wear mine on the wrong finger -- the middle one -- because shortly after the wedding I ha

        • Ack, forgot to add my sincere congratulations. :-)

          IME couples that don't put a lot into the wedding tend to stick together longer, by the way, so methinks you'll be together a long time. ;-)

          Cheers,

          Ethelred

    • Oh, but just for you, I changed the icon. :)

      Hmmm... too bad they don't make "The One Ring to Rule Them All" in white gold. hehe.

  • I'm guessing we're not gonna have any cake?

  • Though I would at least want a ceremony where I could invite lots of people (and get lots of presents), it is something you can do a bit later.
    Honeymoon?
    • That's probably the biggest issue I have with "weddings." I don't believe that people are entitled to a shit ton of freebies just for getting married, and I would not want to be perceived as a greedy gift grubber by holding such a ceremony.

      And also I don't like kissing in public.

      Congratulations, dexterpexter!

  • Hey (Score:1)

    by leoPetr ( 926753 )
    Congratulations, comrade. Relish life.:)
  • At first I thought the title was a joke, and just couldn't get over the fact that you were posting on slashdot.... and then I was liker, holy crap, dexter got married! Wow!

    Congratulations! I hope the best for you!
  • I hope you two can get yourself a nice set of matching pistols to go with the rings.
  • the greater part of the churches to which anyone I trust has a connection, require one year of concentrated, in-church marital counseling, and also oblige you to pledge some very uncomfortable things to which I am unprepared to commit.

    Ugh, tell me about it. I won't go over my tired ol' story again, but suffice to say that I big up the unitarian-type ministers who just say "yeah, do what you wanna." And some of them even take checks!! ;)

    So I propose a toast to you two; for taking life on your own terms.
    • Well, this was said better than I could say it. dexterpexter, i hope that you enjoy your marriage--i love how you went and got the job done--and that you have a ton of fun. when it's right, it's a blast! :) Still hard work at times, but a blast. heh. i never knew it could be so much fun.

      CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
  • You got married! Without the hype, the huge expenses, and the months of worrying about flowers and dresses and every detail.

    That's the way we did it, too. Except the County Clerk's office had a small room and someone to marry you (and witnesses, as we didn't even have friends and family around).

    We waited around for our Titanium rings to come before we got married. :)

    If you're looking for something different and/or interesting, try furthers.com. They've got a neat selection of rings from different artists.
  • have fun.
  • Late, but still here! Apparently I'm the only one who didn't visit this weekend.
  • Congrats from NC! Good luck in your life together.

    --Fortunato
  • Half of them give you congrats as they rail about the process.

    Love that.

    Here's to you and your new hubby having a great marriage.

    It's fun, and to be honest, not really all that much work. If you have to work at it constantly, something is wrong.

    Anyway, here's to you Dexter:

    *Cheers*

  • So, what's next on the list? :-)

  • Hey, the only thing important during a wedding ceremony is the person you are doing it with. Mason, Xmas lights, and so on just give you lots of ways to ease the grand tale of how you got married into just about any conversation you please.
  • In my state when you get the license they'll marry you for an extra $5, but you just get a notary--you don't get a reverand or the cute story to tell later on.

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