I help manage a fleet of older Windows PCs (around 4000) and almost all of those issues you named off are not a problem. We have systems in place that certain people logging into certain PCs get mapped to certain printers (fairly dynamic) and just work. Lost IP does occur, but not on PCs (mostly network attached devices like Cameras), and most of those have to do with poor design of those devices. We don't have a DSL modem we have a 10GB network and redundant pathways out.
Just about everything we (IT) needs to configure is done by a management tool of one kind or another, and is very systematic and predictable. And that is the key to providing excellent IT service. These systems aren't always cheap, but they are cheaper that hiring more IT staff to run around putting out fires because nothing works the same way anywhere.
As for Macs vs PCs, Macs require as much attention as PCs, but they are managed not by IT, but by the End User. Because that management is outside of the measurables IT can deliver, you don't see the actual costs associated with them.
Here is the real question, would you rather have Macs, that require 100/hr user trying to figure out whatever the problem is for 3 hours (not measured) , or a system that is managed (and measured), and can be diagnosed by a $20/hr tech that can be fixed in 1/2 an hour? You can PCs require more IT work and that is true, however the unmeasured costs are much much worse.