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Journal sielwolf's Journal: Crappy Parents raise Crappy Kids 10

Journal by sielwolf

Hooray for Salon.com! Dragging liberal thought back to, oh 1975. Man, I wanted to avoid any sort of 9-11-ish post on this day. Why? Because This is the Issue... on the Day of Days. Besides, people are more interested on seeing what side you're on than doing anything constructive. Shit, I'd rather see people out enjoying the nice weather than this shit.

But then I made the mistake of reading the above article.

*sigh* Is this considered constructive liberal editoral nowadays? Man... things are getting shitty on all sides.

A Synopsis:

  • 9/11 Happened
  • There are a lot of violent toys out there
  • Somehow there is a correlation
  • Oh... and probably a Ziono-Baptist Conspiracy to turn all of your children into little warmongers
  • Heil Hitler!

Ok, listen, Talking Baby Buttfuck: a solid argument has to explore all the possible rationales and eliminate all but one. This requires some *gasp* fucking research and *groan* critical thinking beyond a sixth grade level.

Our intrepid reporter was walking through a toy store with (I assume) her son (since I doubt she would have such a reaction since naturally such toys aren't being marketted to girls) and sees a plethora of military themed toys. She is shocked! Military automatically implies a conspiracy by the government!!! She goes online and finds dozens of toys that reinforce her perspective. She polishes off the Vasser diploma and strokes off 2000 words. Mail to Salon.com. Cash check. Live self-satisfied.

Meanwhile, back in reality...

Ok, yes, there are fucking toys that play in on the current military goings on... but there always have been. When Desert Storm occured, GI Joe released a series of desert camoflauged-themed toys. Why? Because it is called Supplying a Demand. But even then the toys weren't anything special. Why #2?

Because they were just crappy repaints of already existing GI Joe figures !!! Yes now instead of Flint you had "Desert Command Flint". Instead of Snowjob you had "WTF am I doing in the Desert 'cause I'm wearing a goddamn arctic parka Jesus Christ I'm DYING in this thing Snowjob".

Repeat: The Same Damn Toy. The only difference were little arbitrary shit.

The toys existed for good part of a decade, completely ignored by Our Good Journalist, and only when put in some Context did it now become a Totem of Child Destruction! The funniest fucking example is this excerpt:
"Danny Escobar, 5, trailed after his mother and father, carrying his prize, a set of green foam Hulk Hands. Styled like boxing gloves, they roared and made the sound of shattering glass.

Danny's father, William, 27, paused in front of a rack of G.I. Joe figurines. "...They've changed... [These toys] are basically trying to push the war on little kids."

Hahahaha! Did this winner not fucking see The Hulk? Did he (or the journalist) not realize the movie is about an uncontrollable nigh-unkillable psychopath who mercilessly destroys and kills everything in his path? And the toy is DESIGNED to make Junior want to PUNCH EVERYTHING IN SIGHT? And how is this somehow less of a threat to our youth?

Oh RIGHT... it's FAKE violence...

Oh SHIT!!! She FORGOT!!! She then uses this as a damn segue into the same fucking tired anti-"Violence In Front of My Child" argument used against toy guns, video games, baseball bats, and Bruno Magli Shoes: What the study's findings clearly did show was that playing with toy guns did not in any case diminish aggression in children. "I think it tends to keep it on their mind rather than having a cathartic effect," Watson says. "All kids are going to be aggressive at times, but I don't think as adults we have to push them in that direction."

Ok... so what the fuck does this have to do with Iraq/9-11/US Imperialism again? How is this now a right-wing conspiracy?

The fact is it isn't. This is just the same ol' tired fucking argument from people who have completely forgotten how children act. Child studies have shown that children aren't becoming more violent, they are becoming more home bound and thus improving the chance of their parents observing it. It's the Apartment/Development/Violent Streets problem. Everybody's confined to a small space (so Junior can't go and cause hell outside) or parents don't want their kids going out because the world is full of rapists and killers and coloreds (probably for Our Dear Journalist this is redundant) so they should stay at home. Now instead when Junior and Jimmy would have gone out to the trees to touch each others dicks/tie ropes around their necks/beat an injured bird with rocks until its brains oozed out of its skull... they sit around and play Playstation or SWAT or whatever other toy-narcotic you use to make up for your shitty-ass parenting.

But since such a plain unfettered squawk is so patently Conservo-nut SUV drivin' Soccer Mom (which Our Dear Journalist thinks she isn't 'cause she's "down" with Black Culture and has completely forgotten about the time that Bobby Davies stuck that stick in her pussy on a dare and she got him back by forcing him to eat two handfuls of dirt and dog shit) she gives the article an Angle by blaming this on right-leaning toy makers.

And to a certain extent... she's right. I mean, conservatives surprisingly DO have kids. She really doesn't think that they're birthed out of a DARPA vat somewhere, right? I mean if YOU were an orthodox Jew and believed in the sovereign right of Israel to take whatever means necessary to defend itself to make the world safe for your son... wouldn't you want him to have an IDF toy?

And she also seems to have no recollection of the post-Gen X habit of Rediscovered Youth... you know, that movement where Grown Adults buy, collect, and horde all the shit they always wanted as kids (comics, video games, and toys)? Hasn't she seen the fact that GTA Vice City and Dead to Rights are for ADULTS and they are selling like the Rapture's on us?

I mean, shit! Who else buys Dragon Model action figures? Damn! Them's is like the Japanese super-racers that never leave Nippon. You have to import Dragon Model figures. You can only find them in select stores. And they are fucking rad! Hyper-articulated WITH functional fingers, accessories down to the smallest detail (little chain on the handcuffs, you can pull out the magazine on the pistol, pull back the slide and see a bullet in the chamber). This is the sort of toy you don't let a kid play with 'cause he doesn't know how to play with it right!

The same adult toy buying market (which is HUGE because it is all the same young adults with lots of disposable income who prop up the DJ industry and other larks) who likes the expensive elite foreign shit also likes stupid fucking joke toys. It is almost disturbing that she really thought the Jacques Chirac toy called "Le Worm" and dressed in a French Maid's outfit was for children!

And that explains it all there. That is exactly what the Soccer Mom who, after buying her son Vice City without a second to flip it over, sees the murder and rape and is somehow filled with RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION when it's her own ham-handed parenting that is at fault.

No wonder there are so many fuckwads out there: they just keep multiplying like any other vermin.

Good God... why can't people FIRST look at something objectively instead of mapping X onto whatever philosophy they're on? This is the same sort of people who go apeshit when people collect Nazi memorabilia (or make action figures of them) when they will defend to the death pornography or racy books or whatever. Why? Because it's simple fucking math to them... and they're hypocrites.

It's the sadly all too common variant of liberal thinking that is "You can think, believe, and do whatever you want... It's just that you and everybody else is wrong so you better do what I do or there's going to be trouble."

Shit... when did liberal thinking get so fucking LAME? I know: all these college radicals got jobs, mortgages, and became even bigger tools. [Chris Tucker]Man!!!![/Chris Tucker] Let your kid be active, let them explore, let them live... and teach them all the important lessons, to perceive and understand critically why hitting was ok here but not here.

This is why if I was in California I'd so be voting for Larry Flynt. Now that guy knows how to have a good time. First Amendment out the yin yang? Yeah!!!! We could sit around the pad drinking hooch off of some girl's buttcrack, watching porno, talking shit about anyone and everyone, and reinacting the last hours in the Fuhrerbunker with our ultra1337 Hong Kong action figures and 1:6 scale Tiger tanks. THAT'S why I love this country!!!

*sniff* God Bless America!

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Crappy Parents raise Crappy Kids More

Crappy Parents raise Crappy Kids

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  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • And in fine fucking form, I'll tell you what.

      Yep! Right on the money - except for the "when did it become..." bit. I think it's always been like that (at least AFAICS): the same belief people lack free will, the same hostility to personal choice and responsibility. Instead of raising kids to understand concepts like "right and wrong", you're supposed to coccoon them, so whatever they do, however stupid it is, can't hurt them. Then they reach adulthood, commit crimes, and blame someone else - like the fuc

    • Dude! I thought I knew how to rant.
      I bow before the master.
  • I've never read a rant quite as good as that one. Right on, Brother!

    She polishes off the Vasser diploma and strokes off 2000 words. Mail to Salon.com. Cash check. Live self-satisfied.

    I knew right there I was in the presence of genius.

    Instead of Snowjob you had "WTF am I doing in the Desert 'cause I'm wearing a goddamn arctic parka Jesus Christ I'm DYING in this thing Snowjob".

    Well I'll be a Flaming Stick of Fuck if that isn't just about the funniest thing I've ever read.

    ...conservatives surprisi

  • ... parents don't want their kids going out because the world is full of rapists and killers and coloreds (probably for Our Dear Journalist this is redundant) so they should stay at home.

    In P.J. O'Rourke's book "All the Trouble in the World", in a section on over population, he discusses a liberal's reflections on a trip to India. In very dramatic language the liberal talks about the feeling of being pressed on all sides by "people, people, people". O'Rourke then gleefully points out that the same does

      • In P.J. O'Rourke's book "All the Trouble in the World", in a section on over population, he discusses a liberal's reflections on a trip to India. In very dramatic language the liberal talks about the feeling of being pressed on all sides by "people, people, people". O'Rourke then gleefully points out that the same doesn't complain about the crowds in the lobby at intermission when seeing an opera at Lincoln Center. Apparently it isn't teeming swarms of people that bug liberals, it is teeming swarms on brown
  • Only one thing to say: This dumb bitch needs an R. Lee Ermey motivational Action Figure. Unfortunately, I can't link to it, as the site is essentially closed in rememberance of 11.09.2001

  • I remember trying to get the most realistic gijoes as possible when I was of that age. Of course, at that point they were selling cobras with bird suits and snake heads and bright orange oversized laser guns. Some of the joe vehicles sort of looked like something from an slightly alternate reality battlefield, or at least were colored dark earth tones... The knock-off figures were a little better (as it is cheaper to copy designs from the real world than go the gijoe route), but also had a very poor qual

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