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Journal queenofthe1ring's Journal: vulnerable 14

Journal by queenofthe1ring

I'm feeling rather vulnerable right now. Some things are going on that I don't really understand. I'm in a strange place. I don't really know how things ended up here, and I'm really confused.

I find myself wanting to reach out to people emotionally, but I don't really know who to reach out to. The people I interact with most frequently are the most difficult to ask for help. Many people aren't quite qualified to provide the sympathetic ear and gentle advice that I require. I know people who are, but I find that reaching out soley for the selfish purpose of personal help is not the way I want to be.

Um, so now what?

This discussion was created by queenofthe1ring (768698) for no Foes, but now has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

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  • Ask for help. I know how hard it can be, but there are times when you simply have to swallow your pride and just ask.

    Do you have a priest/pastor/whatever who you could talk to? They are always willing to offer a friendly ear and wise advice. Alternatively a counsellor at school? It's their job, so it is not as if you are being selfish talking to a professional.

    Os there are plenty of people here who would be there for you to talk/chat to. My email address is public, and I am sure there are many other kindly
    • What arb said and what johndiii said. You are allowed to be selfish from time to time, and friends and family will understand. Like arb said... priests can always be great listeners and are always good at extending advice.
      And I know Railgunner offered, but I will too. marotti at gmail to talk to me. I maybe kinda old (30 in oct!!), but I've been in a lot of situations before and will try to help.

    • there are times when you simply have to swallow your pride and just ask.

      Aye, pride is often a huge problem for me. I'm not comfortable with admitting that I'm not the "tough as nails" person I tend to like to portray myself as.

      Do you have a priest/pastor/whatever who you could talk to?

      Not really. My family is not religious, and I only attend on occassion with fiance, and am thus not a member of a church. I have thought about talking with the guy in charge of fiance's church about my spiritua

  • i'm back, and my email works
  • It's what friends do. And what communities do for the people in them. This is definitely a community.

    It's not a selfish thing. By asking for help, you are both reaffirming your friendship with a person (or your membership in a community), and giving someone else the opporunity to grow as a person. The act of helping is as beneficial as the act of requesting or accepting help.

    And if you want to pay it forward, in such a situation, that is appropriate.

    If you want to talk, my email and IM are on my account

    • It's not a selfish thing. By asking for help, you are both reaffirming your friendship with a person (or your membership in a community), and giving someone else the opporunity to grow as a person. The act of helping is as beneficial as the act of requesting or accepting help.

      You put it so differently than I do in my mind. To me, I feel as though I have nothing to offer anyone, and would not be able to reciprocate any help. I had a friend like that, and am very afraid of becoming that way myself.

  • I'm still working on reaching out to people when I need help... but sometimes it really does help! And gradually, I've learned that sometimes I help, and sometimes I am helped. Hopefully in the grand scheme of things it balances out.

    If I can help, let me know? :-)
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion

    • I look around, I see all these people, who seem to be friends, but all I really see is strangers looking back at me ... I tend to find that my friends are more strangers to me then, well, strangers are. The more I know people in real life, the less likely I am to actually talk to them about anything that really matters. Infact I find that the more I know someone, the less I really want to even be around them, as I'm just waiting for the friendship to fall apart for some reason I'll never understand. I thin

  • Obviously I have very little knowledge of your situation, but my guess is this will hurt for some time, regardless of how much comfort and support you receive from your friends and family or those of us you know from sites such as this.

    But, and I can attest to this, you have a fantastic support network here, don't be afraid to use it. People have posted their AIM names and email addresses, use them if you want. I can't tell you how many people have randomly messaged or emailed each other here starting with

    • don't be afraid to reach out (which I assume this JE was a step towards).

      Yeah, every now and then I make these attempts, but I always chicken out before I get any real good out of anything I have said. I'm easily embarassed by the things that I have written and people's responses (or the lack of responses) to it.

      sometimes you just have to suck it up and hope your friendship is stronger than a possible silly question or objectionable action ... If they can't be called on to comfort you solely for t

      • I have had many silly questions, and at least one objectionable action that I confessed to people who were friends at the time. They tried to confort me I guess. In one instance they twisted my words to create a different scenerio, that I guess they thought would help me in my vulnerable time. Frequently they say nothing, or have told me that I was wrong. Now they flat out avoid me in fear that if I talk to them it will be about another problem that I have.

        I'm sorry to hear that, it never feels good to hav

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