Maybe a reality show hosted by ABBA

... because every time you run Flash a kitten dies.

Signed: The Pope

Credits to Agent Smith
I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus.

There was no option - flying is for spaghetti monster either

I hope that info will help him