xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those Original: http://bash.im/quote/436725 (in Russian)

United Kingdom

I would also like to know more. Cannot figure out how to send a pm? Any help here?

I propose a mass of decentralized solar desalination plants, along the coast lines of Yeman, Oman, and most of the unpopulated areas of Saudi Arabia, and most of the equatorial region of Africa. Could we not then use this method to refill the Aral sea, whilst providing an almost infinite source of water to those regions that have very limited rainfall. If we could then increase the surface area of the Aral, by increasing its capacity, would this not then provide an increase in regional rainfall. Why not whilst we are at it, start this as a mass project in any area with enough sunlight and start refilling the natural aquifers that we seem to be plundering. Nevada, Texas, California to name a few. I am sure they can all benefit from this. Would this not displace some of the sea water, whilst providing a solution?

On another note, I wouldn't mind a home grown "good will hunting" child, or a Derren Brown (amazing memory feats) child. I do wonder if he were to have children, teaching them mnemonics etc could we create a better method of teaching. One that works at home, two days with derren 3 with me, weekends to sport, music, martial arts, further developments in a physical form, rather then just an intellectual form

I'd certainly like to spend a couple of weeks locked in a room with all my old university text books (zoology and marine zoology) a learn latin phrase book, protein shake and some sandwiches dosed up on ritalin. Has it been shown to improve memory though, rather than just concentration. (understanding the greater concentration theoretically the greater memory retention) Ritalin.com here I come, shame I would have to pay with my own credentials, wouldn't look good on an application form if they could see you spending history

http://helmer.sfe.se/ Didn't Ikea already offer us a solution?

It was Wolverine

These guys I think deserve a top ten spot. http://www.concretecanvas.co.uk/ Currently they take a week to produce one of these, if only these were produced en mass and distributed as relief aids. Apologies for trolling. These guys are based in Wales, I rang them last week having read about them on Wired, great bunch of people.