Journal nizo's Journal: 25 Rules for being a Good Republican 5
Dunno where this came from, and wishing I had posted it earlier
25 Rules for being a Good Republican
1) You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was
due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but that yesterday's
gas prices are all Clinton's fault.
2) You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success
all on their own.
3) You have to be against government programs, but expect Social
Security and farm subsidy checks on time.
4) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's
lives, yet you want government to ban same-sex marriages and determine
what your official language should be.
5) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a
profit.
6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray
to Allah or Buddha.
7) You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions
about her own body, but that large multinational corporations should
have no regulation or interference whatsoever.
9) You believe Jesus loves you, and by the way, Jesus shares your
hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
10) You have to believe that society is colorblind and growing up black
in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't
vote for Alan Keyes.
11) You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken Starr to spend
$50 million dollars to attack Clinton because no other U.S. presidents
have ever been unfaithful to their wives.
12) You have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgun
is bad because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern
for all Americans.
13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools,
because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have
sex.
14) You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because they defend the
Constitution, while the NRA is good because they defend the
Constitution.
15) You have to believe that socialism hasn't worked anywhere, and that
Europe doesn't exist.
16) You have to believe the AIDS virus is not important enough to
deserve federal funding proportionate to the resulting death rate and
that the public doesn't need to be educated about it, because if we
just ignore it, it will go away.
17) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals
of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but
the Bible, which is full of sex and violence, is good reading.
18) You have to believe that Chinese communist missiles have killed
more Americans than handguns, alcohol, and tobacco.
19) You have to believe that even though governments have supported the
arts for 5000 years and that most of the great works of Renaissance art
were paid for by governments, our government should shun any such
support. After all, the rich can afford to buy their own and the poor
don't need any.
20) You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent of
old-growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests
and the extinction of the several species of plants and animals
therein.
21) You have to believe that we should forgive and pray for Newt
Gingrich, Henry Hyde, and Bob Livingston for their marital
infidelities, but that bastard Clinton should have been convicted.
22) You have to believe that 50,456,169 is more than 50,996,116.
23) You have to believe that "having a mandate" is defined as "losing
the popular vote".
24) You have to believe a woman should be "pretty and in her place",
unless she is a rightwing spokesperson or radio advice show hostess, in
which case she should be "petty and in your face".
25) You have to believe that even though you attack scientists and the
"intellectual elite" as godless, and try to prevent their discoveries
and theories from being discussed in the public schools, you should
take advantage of their labors to extend your life and improve its
quality.
Heh (Score:1)
Well done.
Watching the results come on on cnn.com last night from "outside" (I'm not an American, eh?) I was just floored that Bush has even more votes by percentage than he did in 2000.
I'm a bit torn: since Bush took office and started spending the US into a hole the Canadian economy has improved (our $ is quite high) and we're selling more overseas rather than relying on the US to import and pay the bills. So if I choose myopia, I like Bush.
However, as a human being, that bastard scares the shit out o
Re:Heh (Score:2)
Political truism: You get the government you deserve.
Don't know who was busy racking up all that bad mojo down south of the 49th, but it looks like it came home to roost last night.
And in this morning's news - This year US accumulated debt adds another $400 Billion, and the economy sheds another 1 Million jobs. ... and global warming at the north pole is proceding along 2 to 3x faster than predicted. ... and we won't know the winner for 10 days.
Re:Heh (Score:2)
1) Kerry has conceded
2)Even if he hadn't, there's no way 140,000 provisional ballots could overcome a 140,000 vote deficit. +/- 10%.
There may be some far out remote chance that something might change once the vote tallies are certified, but it's really unlikely, and I can't see even Terry McAuliffe being so goddamned stupid as to think another mess like 2000 is worth the remote chance. Let it go, and if it changes, it changes.
While I think some people's rhetoric (aka Morford for
Re:Heh (Score:2)
You know what I need? (Score:2)
I encourage you to look at my list and point out anything that I may have missed. If you disagree with one of my points entirely ... well ... write your own platform, and invite me to look it over.