Journal mcgrew's Journal: Springfield Funny Paper 2
Anyone who doubts that Springfield is filled with cartoon charachters need only look at the State Journal-Register. There's a story like this one almost every day.
Police arrested a woman at a nearby tavern after her truck struck a house Wednesday night.
The incident happened in the 900 block of North 15th Street about 7:30 p.m.
A witness said the woman stumbled out of the vehicle and said, "I'm going to the bar." The woman appeared to be intoxicated, he said.
Witnesses said the woman walked to Ma Fatz, 1522 E. Moffat Ave., a few blocks from the scene of the crash, where she was arrested.
The car apparently was traveling north on 15th Street near Matheny Avenue when the driver lost control of the vehicle, which hit a fence, a stop sign, a tree and then finally the house.
The vehicle collided with the front porch of the house, causing only minor damage to the building. The truck suffered heavy front-end damage and had to be towed.
A TV newscaster this morning said that Illinois is the binge drinking capitol of the US. And that despite the fact hat there are a lot of "dry" counties. But I'll bet if everyone in Springfield stopped drinking, half the breweries and distilleries would go bankrupt.
In the Simpsons movie (Ward 2 Alderman here is Gail Simpson), there's a scene where a giant dome is being lowered over the city. People ruch out of a church sitting next to a bar, where everyone likewise runs out of the bar. They see what's happening, end everyone from the bar runs in to the church, and the churchgoers run in to the bar. That's actually pretty accurate -- you can hardly throw a bible without breaking a stained glass window, nor throw a bottle without hitting a tavern. Which makes me wonder why anybody ever gets arrested for drunk driving here; no matter where you go you're walking distance from several bars and churches.
I was in Ma Fat's for the first time last Saturday; Amy and her new husband needed a ride. I drank one beer, gave them the ride, went home and walked to Felbers.
Amy and T-TIMMAY!!! got married less than a month ago. Two weeks ago se was at my door wanting sex; they were fighting already. She wasn't happy when I refused.
To quote the private eye from Roger Rabbit, "Toons. Sheesh."
For someone so stupid, she did the smart thing ... (Score:2)
If you know you're drunk and you're going to have to blow into a breathalyser, might as well tie one on in front of witnesses so that there's a question as to whether you were drunk before you entered the bar ... or just went there to "steady yo
Re: (Score:2)
I know people who were arrested for DUI on a BICYCLE!