Same situation 5 years ago. Kids and all. I got my salvation when she got a lover. She left everything and bailed cause the guy was loaded. That was the greatest thing ever for me (not at the time tho of course). I got my life back and realized how much i was missing. I was living again as to before i was controled from a to z. Like a puppet. A nice, docile puppet bringing home the bacon.
The minute she got dumped (guy realized she was f*cking nuts) she tried to get back to me. Yeahhhhh righhhttt!!! NEVER AGAIN!
Telling ya, the minute you realize what you are missing out there she's done.
I attribute my success to intelligence, guts, determination, honesty, ambition, and having enough money to buy people with those qualities.