Journal kanarde's Journal: I am no hero 1
The night was a normal night... I didn't want to do homework. Then I was excited. I wanted to do something. A movie. But I felt bad. I felt like I was leaving her behind. Felt like I was betraying her. I was selfish. I wanted to see the movie. But I felt like doing so with out her was wrong. I asked. I don't know why. What answer could I possibly expect to get?
I went. Dispite my feeling like I was doing something wrong by not waiting.
I went.
I saw.
And now I sit at home. The question of whether it was right or wrong to wait for her... gone... not because I have answered it, but because I was touched. Moved. My emotions stired.
The point of a movie is to make you feel something. To envoke an emotion. To make you feel this feeling or that feeling toward a character. I felt it. But it was personal. It touched my heart.
Will it change me? Will I do all the things I feel that I must do? Will I ever change? Will I ever be a man I can be proud of? Will I ever be a man good enough for her?
I love her. I care for her. I want to devote my self to her.
But I'm scared. Scared that I am not a strong enough man for her. Not strong enough to make it work. Not strong enough to get by in this world.
I stumble. I fall. I vow to fight to stand up.
Am I strong enough to stand up? Am I strong enough to follow my heart? How do I know when to follow my heart and when to follow the "rules".
How can I be strong enough for her when I'm not even strong enough to try?
The movie. It was me. Not is such a grand scale, but it was me. But I'm different. I can admit my love to my self. I can admit my love to her...
but can i... will i... ever be strong enough to follow my heart and fight the world and all my deamons to love her?
love (Score:1)