Forgot your password?
Close
typodupeerror
User Journal

Journal johndiii's Journal: V-Day Advice: Standard Equipment for a Blind Date 25

Journal by johndiii
A butcher knife is always helpful, just in case. But don't forget to take it out of your purse before you go to the airport.

What do you consider required equipment for a blind date? And guys, yes, I thought of that, and it's not very original.

Or, if you prefer, consider this hypothetical scenario: You accidentally smuggle a weapon past airport security, something materially more deadly than a tweezers. Do you:
  • Immediately go back to the security checkpoint and turn it in.
  • Just go on about your scheduled travel, figuring that it is the path of least resistance.
  • Wait and turn it in to the flight attendant after the plane is airborne, on the theory that they can't kick you off the plane at that point.
  • Seize the opportunity to make an unscheduled alteration to the flight's itinerary.
  • Commit seppuku in the plane's restroom out of shame.
  • Decide that it was God's plan that you have a combat knife on the airplane, and wait for the voices in your head to tell you what to do with it.

Of course, creative suggestions are always welcome. Homeland Security will be waiting for you in the parking lot.

This discussion was created by johndiii (229824) for no Foes, but now has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

V-Day Advice: Standard Equipment for a Blind Date More

V-Day Advice: Standard Equipment for a Blind Date

Comments Filter:
  • Considering how many women get harassed by the men sitting next to them on flights, having a butcher knife in my purse would probably be a good thing...

    But that's just my humble opinion ;-)

    Telling the twat you're on your way to an international kung-fu tournament is just as effective :-P

    • Or, perhaps, that you're a surgeon on the way to a conference on impromptu bilateral orchidectomies. And that you're short of material for the paper that you're supposed to present. :-)
      • bwahahaha...I like that one! Brilliant! I'll use it the next time I'm in a situation where I need to use it. Thanks! :-D
      • I think it's orchiectomy... I think I'd bet my right nut... The one that's in a jar somewhere.
        • Apparently both terms are used [cancerhelp.org.uk]. "Orchiectomy" wins the Google fight, though, 90,000 to 31,000.
          • Interesting link. The description doesn't match what I had done though. For one, I still have... one... And the incision wasn't through the scrotum, it was slight up from the hip bone toward the belly button, so the nut was basically pulled up and out through my stomach. Maybe orchidectomy is when both are taken out and they go through the scrotum?
  • An escape plan for if it's not going well.
    2 jackets. (One in case the other person needs one, and the other because I was the one that remebered to take a jacket and I shouldn't have to go jacketless as a result)

    And if it goes very badly, the following:
    Some form of defense against pepper-spray
    6 feet of rope
    A shovel
    Some garbage bags
    Duct Tape
    An Alibi

    How not to handle the accidental smuggling of a weapon beyond security.

    Throw it in a garbage recepticle.
    Leave it in a stall in the restroom.

    Although reading t

  • DOH (Score:2)

    by nizo ( 81281 ) *
    And this is why they should seperate the cockpit from the rest of the plane. It scares the crap outta me that people who aren't even trying to get stuff onboard manage to do so. If you can't get into the cockpit that makes it kinda hard to hijack the plane doesn't it?
    • Comment removed based on user account deletion
      • Is it possible for the Cock-pit to drop the main cabin pressure fast enough to knock out everyone?

        In effect you'd get this:

        hijacker: "I'll kill the passengers..blah..blah blah"

        Captain: "Uh, no"...hit the emergency depressurization button

        hijacker (and everyone else on board) : what? (thud as the they hit the floor).

        Captian then lands the plane at the nearest airport, HLS trompts on board and escorts the baddies to prison.

        It's a simplistic scenario but you get the idea.

        Sean D.
        • Comment removed based on user account deletion
          • Or... not

            They call any elevation about 25k feet the "death zone". Pretty much because you are slowly dying as soon as you get above it. Most climbers need oxygen tanks to survive the Everest climb (I believe it is 29k feet). So, I think if you were in a plane at 35k feet that was completely depressurized you would pretty much pass out pretty fast. When ppl climb everest they take a couple weeks to acclimatize themselves to the higher altitude/less oxygen until they finally do that last climb to get to the
        • The downside to your scenario: People with weak hearts or various unusual ailments die when faced with a sudden change in breathable air.

          I thought that they should use a sleep-inducing agent. A flight attendant stays in the cockpit where s/he can exit w/ oxygen and revive other crew members after the threat is neutralized. Same problem, however.

          Indeed, think of the benefits of being gassed the entire flight... You climb aboard, you go to sleep... No crappy airline meals, no children kicking the back of yo
        • There is no emergency depressurization button. In fact, if the cabin altitude goes above 14,000 feet, the oxygen masks ('rubber jungle') automatically drops. The crew has no control over this.

          I'm not sure whether the pressurization control on an airliner can be set to some ridiculously high cabin altitude (in which case, it'd just let the air out via a 'bleed valve' - it's normally doing this all the time, but admitting enough air from the engines so that the air exiting via the outflow valve is balanced b
  • Decide that it was God's plan that you have a combat knife on the airplane, and wait for the voices in your head to tell you what to do with it.

    And as for the blind date... well, having never really been on one I can only speculate

    mace

    running shoes

    a ride home besides your date

    an excuse

  • It really amazes me that they bother making life so difficult when any number of items that could be used as a weapon could be brought aboard without a problem. A sharp pointy wooden stake could cause major puncture damage. Of course, being wooden, it won't trip the metal detectors. If one wanted to get really nasty, a nice obsidian knife would be particularly mean. Glass being not metal again won't trip the detectors. But heaven help you if you have a metal nail file.

    For the blind date, contingency plans.

    • Doesn't even need to be obsidian - the idea of a glass knife is not new. I think that we've put a lot of security in place without really thinking through the problem well.

      That's good thinking for a blind date. I've never had that particular experience. Now I'm in the position of thinking about dating again after twenty-plus years, and it all feels very strange. Not bad, just... odd, I guess.
      • Doesn't even need to be obsidian - the idea of a glass knife is not new. I think that we've put a lot of security in place without really thinking through the problem well.

        Obsidian can hold quite an edge, which is why I use it as an example. It'll hold a much sharper edge than any box cutter could hope to. Any glass would be enough to get the point across though.

        It is rather interesting that we're throwing more and more money at security without even bothering to have a good answer (to my knowledge) for th

  • I never take weapons on blind dates. However, whenever I am meeting new people for coffee, I always take a handkerchief, ether, piano wire, and a compact(in case I need to touch-up my make up ;)
  • Just go on about your scheduled travel, figuring that it is the path of least resistance.

    As long as I don't have to transfer, it's not like I'll be going through another x-ray machine anyways, so what the hell?

    And then if hijackers really are on board, it gives us passengers an extra edge. Because the air marshalls are so obvious you can be certain they will be KOed as the #1 move of any hijackers.

    What's the point of having air marshalls if it is so obvious who they are?
    *sigh*

    Airport "security" is suc
    • What's the point of having air marshalls if it is so obvious who they are?

      It's so you miss their partner (or two).
  • is that the first thing the article mentions is that the security guy who didn't see it was removed from his post and sent for retraining. I picture him in a kindergarten-sized desk being shown flash-cards of X-rays and having to respond with a description of the object and appropriate measures to take.

Slashdot Top Deals

Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life. -- Dave Butler

Close