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Journal johndiii's Journal: How would you be worshipped? 31

Journal by johndiii
Inspiration: mekkab's reply to my JE.

So, you're a god. How do you want to be worshipped? What are your commandments? Places of worship? What happens to sinners who transgress your rules? How are true believers rewarded? Polytheism, or are you the One True Deity? How do we know that you're really the god that you say you are?

Not too much cribbing from established religions, please. Bonus points if you can convince someone to actually believe in you (no, you're dead, Ron - no points beyond the grave. I don't care if those books are still being published in your name). This should be fun...
This discussion was created by johndiii (229824) for no Foes, but now has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

How would you be worshipped? More

How would you be worshipped?

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  • I'll need 3 religions for me to be apropriatly worshiped. One religion belives that I love lobster and will worship me by giving me the finest lobster. The next religion will belive that I should be worshipped with butter. The third and final religion will belive that I require virgins. Erm, FEMAIL virgins... Cute ones too! not the throw aways!
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • 1) I am always right...including my opinions.
    2) My musical tastes are sacred. Everyone MUST love my music or DIE. Radiohead is my son. Led Zeppelin is the Bluesy Hard Rock Spirit. The Beatles are the 4 horseman of the apocalypse.
    3) No country music from the past 25 years allowed--unless it was made by Johnny Cash, or if you include, ridiculously, Wilco as "alt" country.
    4) Republicans and Democrats are banished to Pluto without any supplies. (I'm a politically aware god)
    5) Ethelred is my personal comedi
  • "I don't get it," said Mirth, as they headed north. "All these little shrines. Bowls of milk and porridge. Windchimes and bells. Charities and mitzvahs and all. No processions, just big parties at people's houses. These people hold parties over everything. They go off and sit in fields and call that worship. What's all this got to do with you? I mean, it's not like you're REALLY the deity, right?"

    Sisu grinned. It was a little-girl grin, the kind that you expect to see involving chocolates... Or at least so
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  • My commandments would be as I write: without any real central take home to mama point. Just ruminations and koans. This would then be offset by feats of inarguable power, say blowing they Earth in two or having every first born just up and be devoured by larvae from the inside out.

    I'd make life arbitrary, unfair, and slightly mystical. I'd only appear to the marginalized and psychotic. Every few years I'd have the sky fill with rust colored clouds. I'd have fruit spring from barren rock. Rivers woul
  • How do you want to be worshipped?

    Sex. Women are encouraged to have sex with me in particular and members of the church in general. Men are encouraged to have sex with other members of the church. Sunday school will be 18+ and involve coaching in technique.

    What are your commandments?

    Love your neighbor and yourself. Try not to hurt people. Don't spam. Enjoy decadance in this life.

    Places of worship?

    No place in particular. It should involve lots of satin, cushy pillows and chairs and stuff, a h

    • ...the new Aphrodite.
      • I challange you to find a better gig as god.

        I'm perfectly willing to be the god of hedonism. Decadance is it's own reward.

        • I thought of a better way to word it, anyway:

          "Aphrodite, I relieve you of your post." -- Zirnike
          • Hello no... if she exists, I want tutoring. Always bow to the voice of experiance, especially when she's supposed to be the most attractive woman in existance and has had, what, 2500 years to practice getting sex right?

            How about Aphrodite on Hercules? From what I understand, the actress playing her is rather bright, which ups her attractiveness level a lot... And even as a ditzy blond, she was very attractive.

  • I already am worshipped by my hordes of devoted followers.

    For some reason, BoE laughs uncontrollably when she reads this. I will teach her.

    Benedictions,

    Ethelred

    ps: i am typing this postscript with broken fingers must stop now bye ow ow ow

  • Whatever strikes my fancy, if you're going to make the mistake of worshipping me, I'm going to make it worth my while. The trappings of power within my religion will shift and sway and heretics will have a special place in my heart. I'm very Darwinian - even politically, so even minor differences between churches will be subject to major schisms to determine the rightness of their faith.

    Those followers of the CoDMG would be best served ignoring my words and dictates, and seeking knowledge for themselves. A
    • "And if he doesn't mind, I'll probably chill in his Afterlife occassionally"

      Cool! We can start our own Pantheon. We have the gods of chaos and hedonism so far... do we need more?

  • So, you're a god. How do you want to be worshipped? What are your commandments? Places of worship? What happens to sinners who transgress your rules? How are true believers rewarded? Polytheism, or are you the One True Deity? How do we know that you're really the god that you say you are?

    The rules for worshipping Em:

    1) no one is allowed to work more than 40 hours a week. Even if they want to. That means you, geeks. Speaking of Geeks, geeks will be forced out of their homes several times a week to inte

  • Hrm. (Score:1)

    by Zeriel ( 670422 )
    I. I am the Lord your Zeriel. You will have no other Zeriels before me. Or after me. Or between me. Insert other prepositions as appropriate.

    II. Thou hast been gifted with intelligence, so that thou are not like the animals. Thou shalt be expected to use thine intellect, and plan for the future of your world, not be as the animal and eat and shite thyself from plenty into starvation.

    III. Thou shalt reject instinct and inanity, and strive to master your emotions and desires. Sharpen the edge of yo
  • I'd take a hands off approach. I don't want people to believe in me. That's a hassle. People saying "Please God help me with whatever inane problem I have right this second." All that prayer answering really puts a damper on being lazy.

    So in order to expedite things, instant Apocalypse. Nothing exists anymore. And oblivion is where we all get to take it easy for a while. After a predetermined amount of time, an afterlife will be spawned. Everyone will be well-rested from the earlier oblivion, and we'll hav

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