I'm pretty sure they keep enough chemical fire-extinguishers around for that exact reason

Well, then it doesn't seem like a bad idea to kill the yet-unknown original inhabitants by cross-contamination to keep the analogy up

I wish all those doing-nerdy-stuff-is-good-for-your-brain-somehow stories would cease to be made up by "some researcher" or editors!

not having RTFA but assuming it to be the usual bullshit

Evolution doesn't work by changing yourself and passing on the changes to your children, but being happy with that mutation you gained (when you were just 1 cell) and thus manage to NOT get killed like everybody else before having children.

Since ads don't kill people (well, yet) ....
But maybe I've got an old-style brain aswell

Why would you want to carry on a conversation while being at a concert or attending a baseball game? I mean, you could do that at home (or in the wilderness if you want)

Your 'statistically on average' is right I think, but you should check your physics as ABS in fact dramatically decreases your braking distance on bitumen or concrete roads.

Static friction > dynamic friction