"Hello, welcome to the bigotry department. May I help you?"
"Ah, yes... directions. Now what type of bigotry are we talking about here? Linux? MacOS? Windows? ...or could it be OS2?"
"None of those, you say. How about Open source, or could it be some form of proprietary flavor? MS Office? Open Office?"
"No? Maybe Netware versus IP?"
"Ah, I've got it, it must be hardware. You must be a PowerPC bigot."
"What? Mormon? I'm sorry, this is Slashdot. We don's handle that kind of religion here."