I apologize for the lack of paragraph breaks in my previous message. In my defense, they were there when I pasted the text. Given that I'm currently zonked on dilaudid, however, it's possible I hallucinated the writing process altogether. I've been told I'll be freed on Tuesday, assuming the talc did the trick. In that news lies happiness. I'd be more specific on the YouTube channel if there were anything complex about what I've done. As I don't actually know how to play lead, or bass for that matter, I'll muck around on the guitar / bass 'til I've up to eight notes or so -- usually fewer; I'm getting old -- whose locations and order I can remember (very important). Then I'll record said riff on the first track, keeping an eye on the time. Once a minute has passed, I'll finish up the straggling notes, select another filter / stomp box / amp preset and repeat the process on the next track. 'WhipWha' has three tracks, 'Fetching . . .' has five. I'd really like to reupload 'Fetching' with corrected sound levels in the video (the levels in the song itself are fine), but it took so long to convince YouTube I did this myself that I don't want to jump through the same time-consuming hoops on resubmission. While the recording process was impromptu (I didn't write anything down), I wouldn't have any trouble tabbing a song or two out; I'd just play a track 'til I remembered or recreated what notes (or chords) I used, then repeat 'til finished. I'll tab out 'WhipWha' and see if anyone's actually interested, but it'll have to wait for a bit; guitars are frowned upon in hospital rooms (also, sitting cross-legged's tough if you've a tube coming out your side). There are still a few songs I want to add to the channel, including one whose slideshow will involve hospital photos I've been taking. If I can figure out how, and if there's interest, I might make a how-to video of the process while I'm composing, recording, adding photo content and then uploading to YouTube. I think SoundCloud (something like that) may be another route to go, but given that I've become old and am demonstrably falling apart, I may need someone to lead me through it. Thanks for your kind words and suggestions!

Thirty-six years ago, I went on a creative burn and wrote several songs . . . one of which -- an instrumental -- wasn't bad. But I was fifteen, and knew of no means of recording it beyond a Radio Shack pop-and-hiss cassette recorder. I'd no idea how to proceed beyond this, so I carefully placed the graph-paper notebook in which I composed it somewhere . . . Nineteen years ago, I went on a creative burn and wrote several songs . . . three of which, after pencilling the notation and tabs in another spiral-bound notebook I'd subsequently misplace, I performed in front of complete strangers. Mortified that I'd futzed the last two notes of the last song of the set, I ran from the bar when a girl who looked for all the world like Blossom asked me who my influences were, and . . . Shortly after that, my right lung collapsed. Back then, that meant a half-inch chest tube 'twixt the ribs, the medical version of a Shop-Vac, and surgery. So much for the budding singer-songwriter's lung capacity. Three weeks ago, I grabbed my phone, guitar, bass and iRig, and -- sitting cross-legged on my bed -- recorded seven short impromptu multi-track instrumental compositions into JamUp Pro, layering track over track. I then saved them, emailed them to myself, then plunked them into iMovie with accompanying slideshows from photos mostly taken with the same phone. True, all the 'videos' are less than two minutes long, but production from composition to recording to video to YouTube honestly took less than five hours each. And yes, it shows. More to the point, I (sort of) knew how to do it, and had everything needed. Would they sound better if a professional had written them? Sure. If an actual musician had recorded them? You bet. If a studio handled the mixing and levels? Absolutely -- I messed up the audio levels in 'Fetching Through Water', f'rinstance; the listener will need to hike up the volume. But I can't afford any of the above. So . . . they're amateurish. They're imperfect. They're not going to put any working musician on the dole. But they're mine -- three of them are almost good. I'm so happy I could burst. So . . . Four days ago, my left lung collapsed. Two days ago they inserted a 'pigtail', a reputedly kinder and gentler version of a chest tube, again 'twixt the ribs. This afternoon they injected my chest cavity with talc so my lungs will adhere to the walls of the cavity -- a procedure at which even the most committed masochist should balk. Seriously. I've never been a good singer, certainly, but this probably won't help. ðYS If all this had been available to me when I was fifteen, or thirty-two, when the muse burned strong . . . My point is that if I can do it, however unprofessionally, people with actual talent who can't afford the traditional route can as well, regardless of age. I don't know if it's the beginning of a cultural revolution, necessarily, but I'm reasonably convinced it's a good thing. Fair Warning: if you click the link below and select a video, I reputedly may benefit in some fiscal manner. http://www.youtube.com/user/z0ot62/videos 'Fetching Through Water' is my favourite; 'WhipWha' is accompanied by actual video (but may make you seasick).

Bacteria, you say?

Two Streptococci in a certain composer's mouth we're trying to have a conversation. It was tough going because of Beethoven's predilection for pressing his head against the piano to feel the resultant vibrations as he hammered on the keys.

"This is driving me crazy!" screamed the first bacillus. "How can you deal with this chaos?"

The second Streptococcus, a gram-positive sort of fellow, shrugged and bellowed back, "If you can't take the beat, get out of Beethoven!"

--

John.
WiseandFoolish