So another unusable feature for Tesla owners in Europe and elsewhere.

Presuming article is cynical attempt to get people to look at his 'Hire Me!' page on his self-linked to blog. "I am currently looking for work."

My 2018 MBP is great, use it everyday with no keyboard problems, perhaps if OP has a bad one he should have returned it?

http://www.coboloncogs.org/

Now that GSM encryption is publicly breakable, could the calls from IMEI's not registered as belonging to the prison staff be automatically decrypted and recorded?
If they can't entirely prevent the problem of smuggling, at least this would help shed light on what was being discussed, and to whom. Perhaps useful at any parole board hearings?

if long distance space travel means incarceration in a wooden submarine.

Just like the floating junk armada in Neal Stephensons Snowcrash novel isn't it?
Absolute best fiction book I've ever read.

So what happens to your iPad if the airbag in the steering wheel deploys ?

I imagine after it's fired into your face, you'd probably be entitled to a well deserved Darwin Award?

Google require you to have a current Storage-For-Developers account, which is only available for US parties currently.

Precrime officers then, where do I sign up?

Best Buy
Samsung Electronics America
Westinghouse Digital Electronics
JVC Americas Corporation
Western Digital Technologies
Robert Bosch
Phoebe Micro
Humax USA
Comtrend Corporation
Dobbs-Stanford Corporation
Versa Technology
Zyxel Communications
Astak
GCI Technologies Corporation

Err, you haven't been in a while have you. It closed in 2006.
You'll be after the Peter Harrison Planetarium in Greenwich if it's astronomy you're into.

and if you're used to Telex machines, perhaps you're actually just suffering from dementia ?

Wrong end of stick...

I think it's about desktop background images, not OS platforms. You can keep XP, but do you change your wallpaper?

And what sort of thorough article would this be in missing out Sun Microsystems' MAJC chip from the 1990s ?

Promised to accelerate JAVA instructions, the chip was a multithreading multicore design (can you say Niagara?) but Sun couldn't get it to market fast enough and advances in general purpose CPUs left it for dead.

Sadly MAJC only made it into two models of Suns own-brand graphics cards before it was dropped, though it's design principles live on in Niagara and Rock.