I just updated the original post with instructions to get Flash. Basically, search for "flash 10.1" in the market.
And no point trying to get it before you get it pushed to you?
The Over-The-Air update is a staggered rollout. But, the manual method that I wrote about here let's you avoid the wait. That said, it also seems to only be for the Nexus One now. Can't find a Droid update yet.
You're at Witt's End.